26/12/2022
❤️ how kids self express
Have you noticed an uptick in the “I don’t like it” proclamations?
Children can become more resistant to unfamiliar things or more rigid in their preferences when other areas of their life feel unpredictable or new… like the holiday season.
Unfortunately, “I don’t like it” can be very triggering for adults. It feels like our child is being rude, ungrateful, or picky, so we try to talk them out of it. I see this the most at meal times. A plate of food is placed in front of a child and the first thing the child says is: “I don’t like it!”
Typically the adult tries to “talk them into” liking it, remind them how much they enjoyed it the last time, or maybe even gets their feelings hurt.
Here’s a “secret” that will change your life: “I don’t like it” usually doesn’t actually mean the child doesn’t like it.
Their developing language can’t quite capture their thoughts, so they pick a generic “I don’t like it”.
We can validate their feeling of uncertainty WHILE inviting them to try.
When my children proclaim their dislike for something, I simply reply “Ok.” When it comes to food, I still present it to them and say: “You don’t have to eat it.” Almost always they try a bite on their own. Sometimes they eat the entire serving, other times, they try a bite and that’s it.
The less pressure we put on them, the less resistant they’ll be. Remember, Newton’s Laws from Physics class?? Every force has an opposite and equal force. True with people! The more people feel forced and pressured into an action, the more they resist. This is usually when traditional parenting reaches for bribes, threats, guilt, coercion, shame, and other harmful and ineffective (long-term) strategies.
To read more head over to my blog post : https://www.caleykukla.com/blog/i-dont-like-it