Sarah Stokely - Affirming ADHD

Fascinating stuff. I love the term neuro-immune system, as we’re increasingly discovering the links between our brain wiring/nervous systems/immune systems.

ADHD is rarely mentioned as a coexisting condition with dysautonomia—but if you're living with both, this probably won't surprise you.

New research is exploring the connections between ADHD and conditions like POTS, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome, and other forms of dysautonomia. The common thread? Chronic inflammation and autonomic nervous system dysfunction.

About half of people with ADHD have joint hypermobility, which is linked to conditions affecting multiple body systems. Understanding these brain-body connections could reshape how we think about ADHD and open new doors for treatment.

If you've been managing ADHD alongside unexplained fatigue, dizziness when standing, brain fog, or digestive issues, this research might help explain why.

Via ADDitude: https://additudemag.pulse.ly/znolw6snge

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but you can consider this a Black Friday/Christmas/end of year frenzy-free zone. ADHD can make us prone to catching urgency from others, and it's all around right now. I'm going to keep focusing on low demand living, and the small things I can do to keep supporting myself, my AuDHD brain and my neurodivergent folks. If your ADHD brain is in need of some TLC, may I invite you to sign up for my Affirming ADHD newsletter, as I'll be giving away 3 one-on-one ADHD Uplift sessions to subscribers in December as an antidote to the silly season.
https://affirmingadhd.com/ - and put your name in the popup box that appears there. :)

There’s a community music festival festival playing across the street from where we live. Awesome, but loud! I took our 6 year old kiddo over for a look, and said “I’m wearing my headphones because it’s so loud, do you want yours?” And so we both went, headphoned up. I love that I’m modelling to our kiddo ways we can accommodate our AuDHD selves, and normalising doing so even when it might be visible to others. No need to get shy if mum and dad and sisters do it too. I truly believe that being a neurodivergent parent makes us such powerful forces for the good of our kiddos. ❤️❤️❤️

Hello world! Long time no socials! I've been busy with life and work but you can see in my photo, I'm thiiiis close to being ready to share details about a new and FREE event I'm running. It's an ADHD Uplift (NOT a challenge! Because life is challenging enough with ADHD!). I'll send first details out to my email list, so hop on if you're not already! Link to subscribe is in my Linktree (in bio), or visit www.affimingadhd.com and it will give you a popup inviting you to subscribe. ❤️

Hello world! I've been quiet on socials but busy in life and work! I'm *thiiiis* close to being able to share details about a free event I'm running next month, which will be a 5 day ADHD Uplift (NOT a challenge! Because life is challenging enough with ADHD!). I'll send first details out to my email list, so hop on if you're not already! Link to subscribe is in my Linktree (in bio), or visit www.affimingadhd.com and it will give you a popup inviting you to subscribe. ❤️

Hi folks! Who is attending Yellow Ladybugs conference next week? I will be there in person on the Thursday, and would love to say hello to you. ❤

I came out at my kid’s school today! I was so grateful to get to speak to the prep parents morning tea. The gist of my talk? Hi, I’m Sam’s mum. I’m autistic and ADHD. I was really worried about Sam starting school because I was different and had so many problems at school. But as an adult, I got a diagnosis and it helped me understand my difference. So I want any other parents who are worried that their kid might be different or get labelled, I see you, I get it. And you are not alone. I had a slide with all sample of the unhelpful labels we can get.. and I was told afterwards that the group asked to go back to that slide afterwards, and a bunch of them took photos of it. I think it landed. I am so glad. ❤️

Ok, real talk. If I was offering an event called “Ditch the inner bitch”… would you go for that, or would the title turn you off? Appreciate your feedback! 😊

New Paper Alert: Understanding early maladaptive schemas in autistic and ADHD
individuals: exploring the impact, changing the narrative, and schema therapy considerations

At Yellow Ladybugs, we’re committed to sharing information that helps us create more inclusive, supportive, and affirming environments for our community. A recent autistic-led paper sheds light on the link between early life experiences and patterns of thinking that shape mental health outcomes for autistic and ADHD individuals.

The paper highlights that many autistic and ADHD people experience something called “early maladaptive schemas” (EMS). These are deeply ingrained patterns of thoughts, emotions, and ‘behaviours’ that often develop in response to unmet needs, rejection, isolation, or trauma during childhood.

In simple terms, schemas are like mental maps your brain creates based on past experiences to help you make sense of the world. They shape how you see yourself, others, and situations. Sometimes, these mental maps reflect the challenges of living in environments that don’t meet your needs, rather than who you are as a person. For example, if someone experiences a lot of rejection, they might develop a schema like “I don’t belong,” which can affect how they feel about themselves and interact with others, even if it’s not true.

Negative messages or experiences, whether direct or indirect, can lead to lifelong beliefs Eg feelings of unworthiness or feeling disconnected from others. Living in a world not built for our neurotype, or neuro-minority stress, further compounds these challenges.

The paper also emphasises:

- Understanding Matters: Challenges faced by autistic and ADHD individuals often stem from societal misunderstandings and unmet needs—not from who they are as people. By understanding this, we can shift from focusing on “fixing” individuals to meeting their needs and valuing their strengths.

- Schema Patterns Are Changeable: The research shows that with supportive environments and understanding, these patterns can shift, leading to improved self-esteem, mental health, and quality of life.

- Strength-Based Approaches Work: Using strategies that celebrate individual strengths, honour diversity, and create safe environments can significantly reduce the impact of these schemas.

Why Is This Important?

The paper offers practical lessons for all of us:

1. For Families and Caregivers: Creating environments where autistic and ADHD children feel safe, valued, and loved can help nurture positive self-beliefs and resilience. Building affirming environments can foster confidence and resilience, though systemic and societal factors also play a key role.

2. For Educators and Professionals: Trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming practices can help create spaces where neurodivergent individuals thrive. This includes understanding sensory and emotional differences and celebrating individuality.

3. For Autistic Individuals: It’s important to know that you are not alone. Many of us feel defined by past experiences or negative beliefs. With supportive environments and self-compassion, it is possible to rewrite these mental patterns and build a life of joy, connection, and self-acceptance.

This paper reminds us of the broader need for societal change. By reducing discrimination, improving accessibility, and shifting societal narratives about autism and ADHD, we can make big changes in the mental health for current and future generations.

Post inspired by:
- Spicer, L., DeCicco, E., Clarke, A., Ambrosius, R., & Yalcin, O. (2024). Understanding early maladaptive schemas in autistic and ADHD individuals: Exploring the impact, changing the narrative, and schema therapy considerations. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1436053. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1436053

Read the paper here: https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1436053/pdf

Important, and often misunderstood.

I see children on my school OT caseload who are three, and four, and five, and six. They are behaving in all sorts of inconvenient ways for traditional schooling.

They touch things when they pass by them in the hallways. They stand up from chairs and move around the room, or they fall out of their chairs to the floor, or they pretend to drop a pencil and fall and chase after it. They play with anything on their desk and anything in their pencil box and anything they’re wearing and anything they can get their hands on. Their body knows that playing is how they *ought* to be learning.

When they are sad, they howl with sadness and throw themselves down. When they are happy they scream with delight or run around the room. When they are excited they are bursting out of their body with joy. When they are afraid they bolt from what it is that scares them, or tuck themselves under a desk, or weep. Their body is feeling and they are listening to those feelings.

The adults want them to be calm, calm, calm. To use their calm voices and be big kids and not disrupt class and follow the rules.

I see children on my school OT caseload who are eleven, and twelve, and thirteen. They don’t know how to talk about what they are feeling. They don’t know how to make their brain wander back from wherever it has wandered off to, to learn from a lecture. They know how to keep their hands still, and walk in a line, and be unobtrusive in class.

They know how to ignore what they’re feeling to earn an arbitrary reward or avoid an arbitrary punishment from an adult. They don’t know what they are feeling. They don’t know why they react so explosively when they are angry, or why their mind goes into a panic when they deviate from routine. They don’t have the words for it. They don’t have the tools to cope with it. But they know how to look convenient and quiet and calm. Most of the time.

Bodies aren’t always calm. Calm isn’t always best. Calm isn’t the same thing as regulated.

[Image description: Title text reads, “A regulated nervous system doesn’t look like this or this…” The first item is a straight line, labeled “Always calm”. The second item is a line with long-lasting peaks and valleys, labelled “lots of highs and lots of lows. Then it says “But this…” and shows a sine wave, with recurring, regular hills and valleys. It says, “Regulation simply means having the capacity to move in and out of stress while still being able to return to ‘baseline’ with ease.” The image was made by . End description.]

For Dandenong folks! Can’t wait to meet as many kids and families as I can at my sensory stall for kids and their parents to explore! Come play with fidgets, rock on the wobble board and check out some gorgeous kids books about ADHD and autism! There’s even free colouring in! 😍

Dear Families,
We are so excited to announce that we will be holding a Community Festival on Friday November 22nd from 2:30 – 6:00pm. We are even more excited to announce that our very own students will be performing starting from 2:30pm! The festival is FREE to everyone! We will have a sausage sizzle, popcorn, fairy floss, face painting, animal farm, inflatables and so much more! There will be heaps of activities for the whole family to enjoy. It’s going to be a hot day so please make sure to bring a bottle of water and a hat. We hope you will join us at 2:30pm on Friday November 22nd
Kind Regards,
Dandenong West Primary School

Dari Translation
دوستان محترم و فامیلهای گرامی،
از شما دعوت میکنیم که روز جمعه ۲۲ نوامبر ساعت ۲:۳۰ الی ۶ بعداز ظهر در جشنواره اجتماعی که در مکتب دندنانگ ویست برگزار میشود شرکت کنید. خبر هیجان کننده این است اولادها و شاگردان مکتب خودمان ساعت ۲:۳۰ بعد از ظهر اجرا خواهند داشت. این جشنواره برای همه رایگان است! ما در کنار دیگر برنامه ها سوسیس باربی کیو ، ذرت بو داده ( جواری پوله) ، نقاشی صورت، مزرعه حیوانات، وسایل بازی و خیلی چیزهای دیگر خواهیم داشت! خیلی از بازی ها و فعالیت های دیگر از قبیل غرفه های معلوماتی هم برای تمام خانواده ها وجود خواهد داشت. لطفا با خود بوتل اب و کلاه افتاب گیر بیاورید چون هوا گرم است.
امیدواریم ساعت ۲:۳۰ روز جمعه ۲۲ نوامبر به جمع ما بپیوندید.

با احترام
مدرسه ابتدایی دندنانگ ویست