07/05/2026
An open letter to parents
(on the eve of Do It For Dolly Day) 💙
I didn’t want to become so well acquainted with bullying, but by default I did.
Because sometimes lived experience teaches you more than any study or book ever could.
And so, if I could ask one thing of parents, it’s this:
If a conversation comes up, please don’t immediately dismiss the idea that your child might be capable of hurting someone else.
We’re all human. We’re all capable of imperfect moments.
And if you remember being a kid, especially a teenager… it was hard to navigate. Sometimes we’re not our best selves.
For a couple of years, my eldest went through horrific bullying.
At the beginning, before I realised just how bad things had become, I reached out to some of the parents involved. Calmly. Not attacking anyone. Just saying, “Hey, this is happening, and I really want it to stop.”
And I know the rule is usually “don’t contact the parents”.
But I was hopeful. Maybe overly so.
These were parents I’d interacted with before, in a friendly way. We’d been in each other’s homes. Our kids had spent time together. I genuinely believed people would want to know if their child was hurting someone.
But I was wrong.
The responses were mostly:
“My daughter would never do that.”
End of conversation.
And in short, things got worse. Much worse. Beyond anything I could’ve imagined.
Even when concerns came from me, the school, or police, there was still denial.
I’ve shared more in depth about our experience before, but today I want to say this:
If someone tells you your child may have hurt another person, take a breath and consider the possibility.
Not so you can shame or break them.
But so you can support them.
Because sometimes hurt people hurt people.
Teenagers are complicated humans.
Your child can be funny, kind, caring, gorgeous at home… and still make cruel choices when they’re around other kids.
That doesn’t make them evil.
It makes them human.
And growing up right now is HARD.
Social media makes everything bigger.
Meaner.
More relentless.
I don’t think my own kids are perfect. Not even close. If someone came to me and said my child had hurt someone, I hope I’d be brave enough to really listen.
Because shutting it down immediately helps nobody.
Not the child being hurt.
And not your child either.
Kids need support.
Guidance.
Someone willing to listen.
Sometimes they need accountability.
A hard conversation.
A chance to learn empathy before harmful behaviour becomes part of who they are.
So if another parent ever comes to you with concern, instead of:
“My child would never…”
Maybe try:
“Thanks for telling me. I’ll talk to them about it.”
That one sentence could change everything.
We’re raising humans.
Messy, emotional, still-learning humans.
And all of them deserve adults willing to listen. 💙
