GPS Wellbeing. Integrative Counselling and Coaching

26/11/2025

**Understanding the Weight Is the First Step to Sharing It 💛**

If Sunday’s post hit home for you both, here’s the next step: how to gently shift from imbalance back into teamwork.

The truth is, most couples don’t need a total overhaul — they just need a clearer picture of what they’re each carrying, and why it feels heavy or confusing.

Here’s a simple way to start that conversation without blame:

1️⃣ Write down 5–10 recurring tasks or mental-load items.

Things like school emails, planning meals, remembering appointments, cleaning, bills/admin, kids’ activities, home organisation.

Keep it simple.

2️⃣ Each of you (separately) rate each task from 0–10 on two things:

A. How draining it feels
B. How important it feels (is this a “glass ball”?)

This alone can be surprisingly eye-opening. 👀

3️⃣ Compare your numbers — without trying to fix anything yet.

Be curious, not corrective.
You’ll start to see why some things feel heavy for one person and barely noticeable to the other.
You’ll notice what each of you sees as “glass” and what feels like “rubber.”

And often, this is the moment partners finally *see* each other again. 💡

4️⃣ Choose ONE small shift. Just one.

Maybe one person takes full ownership of a task for a month.
Maybe you swap something so you each understand what it’s like.
Maybe you take turns on the morning or evening routine.

Full ownership = planning, remembering, and doing — without reminders or micromanaging.

This is where things start to feel fair again. ⚖️

5️⃣ Revisit the conversation weekly — 10 minutes, tops.

Ask:

What’s feeling heavy?
What’s working?
What glass balls matter most right now?

Connection grows quickly when the weight is named, shared, and carried together. 🤝

This isn’t about perfection. It’s about partnership — and saying,
“Let’s figure this out together. We’re on the same team.” 💛

***𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝒂 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏𝒍𝒐𝒂𝒅𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒄𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒂𝒃.

If this feels hard to do on your own, you’re not alone. These conversations can stir up old patterns and tender spots.

If you’d like support navigating the mental load or rebuilding teamwork, I’m here. Reach out anytime.

Email: [email protected]

Mobile: 0484 388 038

23/11/2025

When One of You Is Drowning and the Other Isn’t Sure Why

For almost every couple I work with,
there are two truths living in the same kitchen.

One partner is carrying the mental load —
the remembering, the planning, the invisible work no one else sees.
And it feels like:
“I’m drowning in everything I have to keep in my head.
I’m tired in a way sleep doesn’t fix.
I don’t just do the tasks… I’m responsible for them.
And honestly? I’m scared to let go,
because when I do, something usually lands back on me.”

The other partner is trying to help… but somehow missing the mark.
And their truth sounds like:
“I’m not trying to drop the ball.
I just don’t always know what you’re juggling,
or why it matters so much,
or how to step in without stepping on toes.
And sometimes… I’ve slipped into the habit of waiting for direction
without even realising it.”

And in the middle of those two truths,
connection gets thin.
Resentment creeps in.
Team “us” stops feeling like a team.

Here’s the real talk:
Most couples don’t fall apart because of tasks.
They drift apart because they quietly slip into roles —
one becomes the one-who-remembers,
the other becomes the one-who-waits —
and both stop feeling fully seen.

What gets lost are the things you both quietly need:
the feeling of being supported,
valued,
trusted,
understood.

Rebuilding “us” starts there —
seeing each other clearly again,
not as roles,
but as two humans trying to love each other well.

11/11/2025

⚙️ Getting Unstuck — Practical Steps for Task Paralysis

If yesterday’s post hit home — if you’ve been stuck in the “I just can’t start” zone — this one’s for you. 💚

Understanding why task paralysis happens is powerful — but awareness alone doesn’t shift it.
The next step is learning how to work with your brain to build gentle, sustainable momentum.

Here are a few ways to start moving again 👇

🟢 Shrink the task. Ask: What’s the smallest next step? (e.g. open the document, pick up one thing, send one message.)
🟢 Name what’s hard. Overwhelm, perfectionism, low motivation — each needs a different kind of support.
🟢 Change the setup. New environment, music, a timer, or a body-double session can break the freeze.
🟢 Use external structure. Lists that feel manageable, reminders, or supportive accountability.
🟢 Stay compassionately curious. Swap “I should be able to…” for “What might help me take one step right now?”

Action doesn’t always mean finishing — it means starting movement.
Each tiny step helps rewire your brain from frozen → forward.

💭 You don’t have to do it all — you just have to begin.

If you’d like help unpacking what’s behind your own “stuck points” and finding strategies that actually work for you, I’d love to support you with that. 💬

Email: [email protected]

Mobile: 0484 388 038

www.gpswellbeing.com.au

Book Now - https://calendly.com/sue-gpswellbeing/gps-appointment-1-hour

11/11/2025

🌧️ When You Just. Can’t. Start.

Ever found yourself staring at the thing you “should” be doing… but somehow can’t move?
Your brain says, “just do it!” — yet your body stays frozen.

That’s task paralysis — common in ADHD, but also in overwhelm, anxiety, and burnout.
It’s not laziness. It’s your brain trying (and failing) to protect you from discomfort, pressure, or perfectionism.

The trap is, the more we shame ourselves, the heavier it gets.
The way through isn’t more willpower — it’s understanding what’s underneath the freeze.

Once you see the reason — overwhelm, fear, low dopamine, self-criticism — you can start to work with your brain instead of against it.
That might look like breaking things down smaller, changing your environment, asking for support, or simply committing to one next step.

Understanding and self-compassion open the door — but action is what gets you through it.

💚 You’re not lazy. You’re human — and capable of moving forward, even slowly.

🖼️ Image by Dani Donovan (adhddd.com). Used with permission.

07/11/2025

💛 10 Minutes a Day (to Connect, Not Lose Weight 😅)

Let’s be honest — sometimes playing with our kids isn’t easy.
We’re tired.
We’ve got a hundred things waiting for us.
And sometimes, we just don’t enjoy what they want to do.

That doesn’t make us bad parents — it makes us human.

But when it feels endless, we often avoid it.
We say “in a minute,” or “just let me finish this,” and suddenly the moment has passed.
Our kids feel that — not because they’re keeping score, but because they crave our presence.

Here’s something small that can make a big difference 👇

⏱ Set a timer for 10 minutes.
Tell your child, “You’ve got me all to yourself until this goes off.”

When you show up fully for those 10 minutes — giving your whole attention — that’s real connection.
You’ll often find that in those few focused minutes, connection comes easier: laughter sneaks in, or calm settles where chaos was.

And when you follow through — both starting and ending when you said you would — you build something deeper: trust.
They learn that when you say you’ll show up, you mean it.

The timer gives the moment a container — it helps you step in with intention, and step out without guilt.

Ten minutes. One timer.
A small promise that builds big connection. 💛

05/11/2025

💛 Be a Curious Parent Before a Cranky Parent

(…or after, if like me you get it wrong sometimes)

I got cranky the other day.
Not proud of it — but there it is.

I knew why my kids were struggling.
I knew why I was struggling.
And yet… in the moment, I snapped.

Later, when I finally took a breath, I found myself thinking about this idea:
👉 What if I’d been curious before I got cranky?

Because honestly — this time of year?
We’re all running on fumes.
It’s hot. We’re tired. The kids are tired. Christmas is coming.
We’re trying to hold it all together.

So this isn’t about perfection.
It’s about trying to pause, even for a second, before we react.
To get curious — about what’s going on for them, and for us.

Something I learned as a teacher has always stuck with me:
Connect before you correct.

At a workshop years ago, the speaker asked if we’d ever worked for someone we didn’t really connect with — you know, the kind of boss who loved giving "feedback" but never took the time to understand your work.
Everyone laughed (a little awkwardly for those sitting with their boss 😂). But we all knew how it felt to get feedback from someone who didn’t really see or value us.
Then he asked:
“How much do you think your students value feedback from a teacher they don’t feel connected to?”
That one landed hard.

Parenting isn’t teaching — but the principle still applies.
We assume connection because ..... well they’re our kids, right?
But connection isn’t automatic.
It’s built, moment by moment — when we slow down enough to see what they see, value what they value, and get curious about their world.

💛 Connection needs to happen regularly, not just when our kids are upset or acting out.
💛 Getting curious helps us pause and ask, “Why am I responding like this?” and “What’s really going on for them right now?”
💛 When we reach for connection during meltdowns, we help them feel safe.
💛 When we connect during their moments of wild joy, we remember that they’re kids — exploring, learning, living.

And sometimes — yes — we still get it wrong.
We get cranky.
That’s where the repair comes in.
Owning our stuff. Reconnecting. Showing our kids that relationships don’t have to be perfect to be strong.

So if you, like me, lost your cool this week — take a breath.
Be curious — before, or after — you get cranky.
It still counts. ❤️

30/10/2025

💛 Finding Your Way Back

What do red noses, the Footrot Flats song, and heart-hand emojis all have in common?
They’re all tools I’ve seen couples use to take the heat out of a spiraling argument.

🎭 Red noses: One couple popped on clown noses mid-fight — sometimes it made them laugh, sometimes it showed just how deep the hurt ran. But either way, it helped them reset and remember they were on the same team.

🎵 A song: Another had “When the mood gets you down, that’s when I’ve gotta play the fool for you.”
It reminded them: we’re still us.

🫶 Heart-hand emoji: A shared signal that meant, “Lets pause before we say something we can’t take back.”

When conflict heats up, your nervous system moves into protection mode.
You stop really hearing each other — not because you don’t care, but because you’re trying to feel safe.

The trick isn’t to avoid arguments — it’s to find small ways to pause and reconnect in the middle of them. Then you can begin to understand and repair.

You don’t need the same signal as anyone else.
You just need something that feels like you — something that reminds you both that you’re on the same side. 💛

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do right now isn’t to push through the discussion — it’s to take a breath, share a smile, or remember what you’re fighting for, not what you’re fighting about.

✨ Want to create your own “reset cue”?
I’ve shared a free 3-step guide on my website:
👉 www.gpswellbeing.com.au/resources-and-downloads

28/10/2025

💬 When Words Become Weapons

“That’s not what I meant.”
“You’re twisting my words again.”
“You’re not listening to me!”

You love them — but lately it feels like everything turns into an argument.
You try to explain how you feel, but somehow it gets twisted.

It’s that feeling of being lost in the same fight, again and again — like no matter what you say, you can’t seem to find your way back to each other.

Sound familiar?
The love is still there, but connection feels out of reach.
You start to wonder if maybe you’ve just drifted too far apart.

You tell yourself, “If they really cared, they’d listen.”

But caring means vulnerability — and when we feel vulnerable, it’s easier to protect ourselves than to open up.

So instead, we defend. We explain. We correct, shut down, or fire back.
We’re not only reacting to each other’s words — we’re reacting to what those words touch inside us: old hurts, past criticism, the fear of being dismissed or blamed.

But here’s the truth: both people’s experiences can be real and valid at the same time. That is often the hardest part.

You both feel unheard. You both feel under threat.

But the dynamic starts to shift when one — or both — pauses long enough to really hear what the other is saying.
Not to agree. Not to fix.
But simply to acknowledge:

“That’s how it feels for you right now — and that matters.”

It’s not about who’s right — it’s about recognising that you’re both hurting and both trying to be heard.

That’s where real repair begins — in the pause, the breath, the willingness to listen even when you don’t agree.

Because connection doesn’t live in perfect words — it lives in the safety of being able to say,
“This is how I feel,”
and know it matters. 💛

(On Friday, I’ll share a few small, practical ways to start softening these moments — and rebuild that sense of being on the same side again.)

📸 Artwork: Shared with permission from artist Andres Cornejo
https://www.andrescornejo.net/about

Image description:

A striking visual of two figures surrounded by swirling lines — words and emotion tangled between them — capturing the tension of wanting to reach each other but feeling trapped in the noise.

24/10/2025

🐘 When the Elephant Won’t Budge, Make Him Laugh

Some days, the elephant just isn’t moving.
And that’s OK — sometimes the goal isn’t to shift the weight, just to shake your nervous system enough to breathe again.

Here are a few “Sensory Resets” for those heavy-brain, stuck-in-the-mud moments:

🧊 Suck on a slice of lemon — yes, really. Zaps you straight back into your body.
🦶 Bare feet in the grass (or sand, or warm concrete). Instant grounding.
🧺 Wrap yourself up tight in a sheet burrito and fight your way out — it’s oddly satisfying.
🎶 Sing or hum your favourite song — it gently activates your vagus nerve and calms your whole system.
🗣 Roar into a pillow. No context needed.
🐾 Pat your dog, cat, or even a houseplant if that’s who’s available.
☕ Hold a hot cup of tea, feel the warmth in your hands, smell the steam.

Tiny, silly, sensory things — but they tell your brain:

“Hey, we’re safe. We’re here.”

You don’t have to think your way out of overwhelm.
Sometimes you just need to get out of your head and back into your senses. 🌿

✨ Adapted from Sensory Reset ideas by the Focussed Femmes.

And if your elephant’s been extra heavy lately, you don’t have to carry it alone.
Reach out — sometimes a little extra support makes all the difference. 💚

📧 [email protected]

🌐 www.gpswellbeing.com.au

(You can book a session directly through the website.)

20/10/2025

“𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒 𝑒𝑙𝑒𝑝ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑠 𝑑𝑜𝑛’𝑡 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑛 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑠 — 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑖𝑡, 𝑢𝑛𝑦𝑖𝑒𝑙𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑢𝑛𝑠𝑒𝑒𝑛, 𝑞𝑢𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑐𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑤𝑎𝑦 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑤𝑎𝑟𝑑.”

The first time I saw this powerful image, I remember reaching my hand to my chest — I could almost feel my own elephant.

The artist, Carolyne, described the work as “Chest-squishing anxiety that pins you down and depression which keeps you there.”

Another viewer saw it as “the weight of the world” — the mental load, the quiet overwhelm so many of us hold.

Yet sometimes the weight we bear isn’t just stress or struggle — "sometimes the weight is love, beautiful and heavy".

Life can pile up so quietly that by the time we notice, we’re already underneath it — juggling too many roles, emotions, expectations, and invisible weights.

If that’s you right now, take a breath.

You don’t have to fix everything today.

Just noticing the weight is the first step to loosening it.

You’re allowed to pause.
You’re allowed to rest.
You’re allowed to be human.

🐘𝑰𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒈𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 “𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒕” 𝒂 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆, 𝒘𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒃𝒆?

Image: “The Elephant in the Room” — artwork by Carolyne Moolenschot, shared with permission.

Image description - Digital artwork of a young woman lying in bed with a small elephant standing gently on her back.

19/10/2025

🌿 I’m Back at GPS Wellbeing! 🌿

After taking some time to recharge, I’m excited to reopen my books for counselling in Mareeba and online. If you reached out before and didn’t hear back, I’m so sorry—please connect again, I’d love to chat!

I’m Sue, and I help people through life’s messier moments—like when you’re searching for the elusive “manual” 🙈.

I work with:

💚 Adults feeling overwhelmed or out of sync

💬 Couples struggling to reconnect

👨‍👩‍👧 Parents navigating big emotions with their kids

🌟 Teens figuring out who they are

As a parent to two spirited wildlings, I get life’s complexity. No diagnosis needed—just a safe space for clarity and healing.

📍 In-person (Mareeba) or online

📩 Click Book Now at gpswellbeing.com.au or email/SMS

Phone

+61484388038

Email

[email protected]

23/02/2025