Cre8 it with Charlotte Burns

Thank you to everyone who reached out after yesterday's post. I really am OK! It was more a question to explore one of our emotions - sadness. I visit there sometimes, as we all do. I also visit happiness, which I did today.

Imagine being hit with brightly coloured powder. In your hair. Covering your clothes. Sometimes even in your mouth and eyes! How would you feel? Happy? Frustrated? Angry? Sad?

These are all emotions we might visit, depending.

I attended a fundraiser today in Ballarat - a 'Colour Run'. Attendees knew what was going to happen - coloured powder going everywhere. It was all part of it. So why did some people have fun, others cried, and still others got angry, or frustrated? What creates emotion?

In my opinion, it depends in part on our expectations. If you expected to keep powder out of your mouth or eyes, and someone happened to throw some which got in your mouth or eyes, your expectations would not be met, and a possible result could be emotions such as frustration, anger or sadness.

Besides expectations, what else creates emotion?

Where do you go when you're feeling sad?
Thought this might be the perfect place, for me.
Don't know if it's sad I'm feeling or tired - up early this morning for an online seminar.... probably tiredness, manifesting as sadness.
Next stop, bed.

Oops! I missed posting last week!
How do you overcome issues with consistency? Or maybe you don't have issues. I have SO many ideas of what I want to do, when it comes to doing them all I fall into overwhelm and get few if any done. There are some areas I'm good and consistent, and others I'm not. My weekly update seems to have momentarily fallen into this category - so if anyone has a tip, I'm all ears! Perhaps I shouldn't judge myself too harshly after all, it was only one week...

Module 13 was most interesting. It looked at a person's identity, and getting to the heart of our true identity. So often we put on a mask of who we think we should be, hiding or squashing who we really want to be - who we really are. I was able to watch a video where Tony Robbins "broke" someones identity. Now, this might sound rather severe, but when an identity is negative and interfering with meeting ones needs or reaching ones beneficial goals, if there is no other way to bring out a person's true identity, sometimes a breaking may be required.

Interestingly I read about the lifecycle of a butterfly - after a caterpillar emerges from its egg and eats its way through our garden plants, it will spin a cocoon which it must eventually escape from to complete their transformation into a butterfly. I see people are like this also. Some people need to break out of the cocoon which has them trapped in an identity which is not truly them.

Do you ever feel as though you're not being 'real', that the 'real you' is hidden somewhere inside?

Yesterday I was in a funk. My mood was low and I couldn't seem to find joy in anything. Small things annoyed me - the sound of someone's voice, the dog, certain smells... I tried to be positive, but the energy was just. not. there.

Instead of getting out and enjoying my garden, the dog, my studies or my craft I slouched in front of my phone and gamed. This only contributed to the funk.

I knew the theory - My state (how I am feeling) is determined by my physiology (how my body is positioned including my face), my focus (what I am thinking about) and my language (what I am saying about my focus). I knew I was in control of each of those things: I stood a little straighter and put a smile on my face; I examined what I was thinking about.... and that's where the clue came.

Yesterday I was focused on my future. But, what brought me down, was my focus on my past in relation to my future. The things I've lost (even writing this now it brings a tear to my eye and a tightening in my heart), things that will be missing from my future. Now, I do strongly believe we are in control of what we think. But, for some reason, I just couldn't shift these thoughts. I remembered the night before - after having a coffee late in the afternoon (a caffinated one!) I had struggled to get to sleep and only managed to get four and a half hours. I hadn't eaten well during the day and certainly wasn't well hydrated. I had worked relatively hard outside for five hours, so by late afternoon my body was spent. It's hard to change our physiology when it's loaded down.

I managed to get up and do some housework (physical activity is good!). I prepared some dinner, and then slumped in front of the TV. After watching 'The Good Doctor' (anyone else like that show?), I decided to hit my Coaching Course study. It was a struggle, even though it was an aspect I usually really enjoy - I love watching Tony Robbins at work. Then I checked on my eggs, which I'm incubating at the moment, shining a light through the shells to see which are growing babies. Even that was a bit of a chore, and I didn't write down any of my observations. It was just funky.

I finally climbed into bed PAST my bedtime and (after playing a couple of games on my phone) turned off the light. Still feeling funky I said a couple of gratitudes and fell fast asleep.

This morning is a different story. I have a spring in my step, I've managed to stick to my 'To-Do' list, including having cuddles with the dog! She's such a good girl. I feel so grateful for all I have - check out the funny peaches I got yesterday from a friend's farm (Okeedokee variety), along with a pumpkin (I planted there!) and some nashi. Everything just seems brighter.

Maybe it's because the sun is shining. Maybe it's the sleep I had. I know one thing for certain, my future is still missing the same things as yesterday. That pain is still there. What's different is I am focused on other things. Sure, I could start to ruminate on my loss, but all that does is bring me pain. In pain I stagnate, sitting idle, which only brings feelings of shame for not doing the things I want to get done! And not being the person I want to be. I want to be happy. I deserve happiness! And I choose happiness.

It probably helps that I got more than six hours sleep last night, but things on my morning 'To Do' list seem more exciting and enticing.

I'm off now to water my garden and check out how my strange netting experiment is holding up after yesterday's wind (wanna see a photo?) I choose to focus on the things I do have right now - the sun on my face, some amazing things to do, and so much to share. (Wow, writing that brought the same tightening emotion in my chest, only in a happy sense... how interesting). Life is worth living people. Just check your focus. Check your physiology. And check your language.

Be happy.
Charlotte

Still all about Coaching... thus the reason for the photo...
I've completed Module 12! WooHoo! Go me 😁 I'm celebrating because it truly is a struggle some days, and I'm just so proud of myself that I am still going.
Module 12 covered the power of vulnerability - not the Brene Brown version, the Tony Robbins Version...

Every person, to have balance in any relationship, must be able to sometimes be vulnerable, and sometimes strong. Vulnerability can be a source of power, in the same way that sometimes there is weakness inherent in a position of strength.

Tony told a story about a man who wanted to achieve his goal, he worked two years to think his goal through and imagine and visualise it, working on every single detail he could. Then, finally, the day arrived. It was a sunny day, the day he was finally going to achieve his ultimate goal that would make him somebody. Give him a sense of ultimate significance. Because he'd been a busboy, and for a masculine man as a busboy didn't feel like much of a thing. He didn't want that. He had this plan and he knew it was going to work.
So, on this sunny day, he went down to a parade and people were so happy, and the sun was in the sky, and children were around, and people were having the greatest time. He had planned everything to a level of detail, like a man would, and really thinking it through, having calculated it all, he was so prepared. This wasn't spontaneous, it was pre planned. He had organised, written journal notes about everything. And sure enough, here comes the parade, and there's the President of the United States of America. The President gets out of the car, walking with secret service men on either side of him, walking along, coming closer. The man feels his heart racing because this is his moment. This is the moment of his life. And just as he does that, he reaches into his pocket and feels the steel of the gun he's going to kill the President of the United States with. This is a true story.
And the President is now coming to him, and the President is almost within his range, just close enough that he wants to be certain he can kill him. And he gets the gun. He's got his hand on the gun. He's about to pull it out, and he's going to fire on the President because the Secret Service guys are distracted, and he's right within point blank range, and just as he does it, he feels the excitement of that moment, the uncertainty of it, the sense of significance and the certainty that he can do it all at once in his body. And as he goes to reach, all of a sudden - bam - something hits him, and he whips around. He's so angry because somebody is interrupting him in the peak of this and men don't like it when you knock them out of that state and they're doing stuff. They can only do one thing at a time. You can't kill somebody and have a conversation.
So, he whips around so angry, and there, standing, is this really soft, beautiful, gentle grandmotherly like woman - pure femininity. And she looks at him. Then he looks and the President is coming, and she grabs, just tently, really gently on his arm, and says, "Oh, oh, I'm so sorry. Are you OK?" And she gives him all this feminine love and connection. And his hand is on the gun, and she's touching his arm and looking at him with all this love and connection. And teh President's coming, and he took his hand off the gun. And Arthur Bremer wrote in his journal that it was the moment he had planned for five years. His entier life's goal was there, but he just couldn't do it because she was so sweet, and he never had the thought he'd be so loving to her, and he couldn't make her witness that.
So, he spent the next two year, instead of killing Richard Nixon, he went out and shot Governor Wallace, and served a 35 year sentence.
He didn't dislike Richard Nixon or Wallace either. He called Nixon tricky Dick. He thought he was brilliant, but toothpaste had more significance than he did. It's what he would die for - but the power of connection and love, the power of vulnerability can stop a killer. That's power. And people think it's weakness.

Last week I completed the next Module in my RMT Coaching Course - Module 11 - where I learned about four relationship skills:
1. Heartfelt understanding
2. Giving what your partner really needs
3. Creating and building trust & respect
4. Reigniting playfulness, presence and passion

The RMT Course focuses heavily on Six Human Needs Psychology, and in this module it was explained how they are the primary source of meaning in our lives and relationships - for example, we experience conversations in terms of our feelings of significance or love/connection between us, in terms of certainty or uncertainty. Depending upon which we are focused on, each creates a different meaning, which then determines success and enjoyment as a couple. During a conversation, do you seek Significance rather than Love/Connection? Do you look for Certainty or Variety? What you seek will determine your destination.

I managed, this past week since posting, to get through an entire module - Module 9. It feels great. I am yet to complete Module 8, which I am working through and will complete over the coming weeks then post a short summary. Thank you, everyone who reads these, for your support, encouragement, and just for reading. I hope some of these words can inspire.

Module 9 again explored the Human Psychology basis of the Six Human Needs (in no particular order):
Certainty
Uncertainty/Variety
Significance
Love/Connection
Growth &
Contribution

The Module also covered patterns of behaviour - how we can become stuck doing or feeling something long after the action or emotion/mood has finished serving us. Such as grief. Yes, pain is inevitable, however suffering is optional. Read that again.

Depending upon our focus, physiology and the language we are using, we can actively change our STATE. This can happen in an instant, and we can disrupt patterns of behaviour.

Imagine you are lost in thought and a sudden noise startles you. BANG! The behaviour, being lost in thought, is disrupted. Or maybe someone was sad and crying, and something made them laugh - someone farted... Their behaviour, or state, changes.

Being able to change our state a powerful tool which, combined with a knowlege and understanding of the Six Human Needs, can give clarity and control over ourselves.

If you'd like more information, to discuss this or any of these posts further, please reach out # # #

What lights you up?
What makes you smile?
Like, really smile, from the inside out?
Today, as I was browsing my garden, I noticed a little tree growing which just absolutely lit me up, made my heart sing, and filled me with joy. So, of course, I had to take a photo and, of COURSE, share it with you.
About a week ago I was looking through my garden and noticed a little tree was growing, but it was growing through some wire grid I had dumped at the end of my garden to stop ferals from digging up my 'in-garden-compost'. In removing the wire I had also pulled up the little tree, which turned out to be a sprouted avocado ToT So, when I was looking through my garden today and noticed its brother popping its head up, well - check out my face :D
So, what lights you up?
What makes you smile?
Like, really smile, from the inside out?

I dunno who Lisa is, but she's right.

Last week's study was so hard, so painful, I nearly gave up.

In working through each Module of the Robbins Madanes Training (RMT) Course, we reflect on ourselves and our lives. Many times I have found the teaching touches very close to home, but never so close as Module 8. I got through the first two sections then... nothing. I couldn't navigate my way any further, so stopped.

I found joy in cleaning, and doing all those things I usually don't want to do, just to avoid my study. But I knew I had to get through this - for me, for you, for the me and the you's who will come across my path in the future. So, after a week's break, I opened up the course again and TOTALLY SKIPPED THE REST OF MODULE 8! 🤣

I had started listening to the Audiobook - Millionaire Success Habits by Dean Graziosi. He talks about a different paradigm where, rather than working really really hard to overcome our weaknesses, instead we focus on our strengths and work in them. Module 8 was my weakness, my cryptonite. Determination is my strength. I AM determined to get through this Course. The next step? (After finishing Module 8?) Start Module 9 - so I did! And you know what? It's been great. I'm learning again. Whatever the opposite to 'shut down' is? Well, I've done that. And, in the near future, I WILL revisit Module 8 and tell you ALL about it. But for now, I've just kinda stepped over it and am walking forward in Module 9 - which I'll be sure to share with you next week 😉

As I reflect on the past week of learnings I am again grateful for the opportunity to share here, and be accountable to you, my followers and readers.

The photo below is of a sunset taken in Vanuatu - one of my favourite countries to visit. It symbolises the sun setting on one chapter of my life... and I look forward to what the new dawn brings :D

This last week has seen me learn about Three levels of Love, as well as diving deeper into Tony Robbins' 10 Disciplines of Love. Read on for more...

3 Levels of Love -
Level 1: SELFISH LOVE - my needs come first
Level 2: CONDITIONAL LOVE - based on a subtle agreement of "you get yours and I get mine"
Level 3: UNCONDITIONAL LOVE - the others' needs come first. Period.

My questions (I answered, and now pose to you): What level would you like to be at? What level do you spend most of your time? Which level have you operated at?

Want to know more? Feel free to ask - comment below of PM me (via my personal profile as I don't see messages sent to this Page)

Bonus extra - 10 Disciplines of Love
1. Putting your lover first; it's not about you
2. Loving no matter what; the power of love, adoration, praise
3. Being yourself; emanate and express your natural essence
4. Positive intent; eliminate threats and judgement and remember the power of language (and I'd add tone as well)
5. Freedom; the power of forgiving, forgetting and flooding
6. Daily intimacy; full engagement - open your heart and hold nothing back
7. Polarity; the power of dancing energies
8. Loving truth; the power of vulnerability
9. Utilisation; the power of higher meaning and constant growth
10. Gratitude and giving; appreciation is the power
Practice these EVERY DAY

Thursday has rolled around again - another opportunity to share with you my learnings from the previous week.

Let me start by thanking each of you who contacted me and offered to be my guinea pigs (my choice of words ;) ) - It means so much to me. I have not managed to book everyone in as yet, but I will schedule time with each of you soon. My calendar is now full, but if you would like some free Coaching, please reach out, let me know and I can put you on my wait list, or schedule time in the coming months

OK, today's the day - Thursdays people!

Thursdays I commit to posting how I am going with my RMT Transformational Life Coaching Course...

Last time I posted about my progress I had completed Module 2. I am about to complete Module 6! After deciding to put more effort in and keep my eyes set on the goal I have been studying hard and learning much.

A recap -
Module 3: The Power of You
I learned seven specific steps, principles and tools to help someone permanently transform to reach their deepest level of fulfillment and greatest opportunity to grow and contribute.
I also learned about Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) in coaching with an introduction to CBT
Module 4: Breaking Through
I learned about the Triad - your physiology + your focus + the meaning you assign to something and/or the words you say about it determines the state you are in. For example, if you are breathing shallow with your head tipped forward and your shoulders slumped, if you are focusing on all the bad in your world, and you are saying how horrible life is you are bound to be in a state of depression. How does this knowlege help? We are in control of each of the three points of the Triad - we can straighten our posture, lift our head, put a smile on our face; we can focus on all the things in life we are grateful for; we can tell ourselves how amazing it is to be alive at this point in time (or whatever positivity you can find) and we'll find our mood, or state, changes.
Module 5: Leaving Home
In this Module I learned about the 10 steps for helping a young adult leave home, as well as the different life stages we pass through.
I also had an introductory session on Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) which was interesting. After the turorial we were set a 'Coaching Task' and went into break-out rooms were we were supposed to practice one of the Techniques - the Swish Technique. After getting to know my partner (in crime...) and what she wanted to practice the 'Swish Technique' on, I kinda went all rebel and suggested that actually the 'Anchoring Technique' might work better for her! It was a great session with lots of laughter.

I'm currently working through Module 6 - and will share more about this next week. Thursday!

Before I go, if you have a spare hour in the next few days (before Wednesday, January 10) I need someone to do a 'Practice Coaching Session' with - as part of my homework I need to go through what the Six Human Needs are, explore ways you are meeting these needs and see if there are any you'd like to focus on in a certain relationship. Reach out to me via my personal Facebook PM, text or email me if you're available :D TIA