Cradle 2 Kindy Parenting Solutions

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Mindful Mindful celebrates mindfulness, awareness, and compassion in all aspects of life—through Mindful magazine, Mindful.org, events, and collaborations.

There are times during the day when our babies need us. Those times are vital for their survival and thriving. Those times include feeding, bathing, preparing for sleep ... and changing nappies. Those four times are prime times for us to nurture our little ones, giving them our undivided attention and love.

But how does one nurture a struggling, shrieking octopus with a dirty nappy?!

First, if possible, wait for your baby to be finished with whichever activity they were doing at the time. Then remove you and the baby from all distractions. Talk to your little baby about what the two of you are about to do. "Oh sweetie, I can smell your nappy. It's time to give you a fresh nappy. Let's go together." Put your hands out for your baby as an invitation to be carried.

If you do not have a designated space for nappy changes, head to a bedroom and place a change mat on the bed. Turn your phone on silent. Take the opportunity to make this time about the two of you connecting not just fixing a dirty deed. Before removing any clothing you might like to even sing a song or do a finger play song together or play This Little Piggie with their toes. Remember, this time is about connection and nurturing. Take your time.

Next, communicate what you are about to do together. "Ok, let's take your pants off and get started. We've got a clean fresh nappy here and some wipes. I need you to lie still for me and I'll clean your bottom." If you find that your little one's wiggling too much even before the nappy has come off, communicate that you cannot do your job until your baby has done theirs. "I'll wait till you are still. Then, I take off your nappy."

Stay calm, nurturing and connected during this time. "There now, are you finished wiggling around? Great! Now I can take off your nappy? Here we go. Oh, isn't that much better when I use the wipe to clean off the dirty bits? Nice and fresh. Let me just roll you over on your side while I make sure your back is all clean. Excellent. Here's the new nappy! Ready? Let's just slip it under your bottom like this and fasten the sides. Beautiful. We did it together, you and I. Go team! Let's just get your pants back on and we're ready to go." Put your arms out for an invitation to be held and give each other a high five or a cuddle.

Why are we talking so much to our baby who can't even talk?! Ha ha. You KNOW infants understand their routine and our body language and tone of voice before they even begin to understand words or express themselves using words. Don't we ask our dogs if they would like to go for a walk?

After this time of nurturing and meeting our baby's needs, the little one's cup is full of love and attention. This might be a great time to return the baby to his or her play in a safe place and make yourself a cuppa.

For more about routines and nurturing your baby, I can help.

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Working with me helped a mum and dad of a 4 month old teach their son to fall asleep on his own:

"I went in to it hoping things would change but kind of, deep down inside, didn't think my almost 4 month old baby was capable yet.

"My husband and I were so surprised how quickly he responded to the sleep learning methods. He had been carried in the Ergo Wrap for every single nap since he was a couple of months old because we couldn't figure out an effective (or efficient!) way of getting him to sleep in his cot!

"He had gone through the '4 month sleep regression' a month early and was finding it more and more difficult to sleep as each day passed. It is upsetting to not be able to help your baby sleep well, when you know they want to and need to.

"The first two days of the program were really difficult as I was so sensitive to hearing him cry but having Christine checking up on us all and being happy to answer any questions and acknowledge our concerns got us through it.

"From day three, things seemed to just click and our baby was trying hard to settle himself rather than just call out for us. Our baby was even sick for one of the two weeks and Christine gave us good advice on how to respond to him while sick.

"It has now been one month since we started the program with Christine and we can barely remember what our life was like beforehand. We have not touched the Ergo Wrap at all and since our baby has been going to bed at a reasonable time, my husband and I feel like we actually have time (and space!) in the evening to enjoy each other's company and not be such grumps.

"We are so proud of our son and...we are kind of proud of ourselves too. Not giving up on day 1 was one of my concerns and being accountable to Christine really helped me to not worry about that. Besides a few car-to-cot transfers, we have always put our baby down in his cot awake (which always amazes me) and almost never (besides when he was unwell) had to pick him up to settle or resettle him.

"One more thing! Our baby HATED the car most of the time before we started the program. I found it so stressful to hear him get so upset in the car that I was avoiding going out! Since the sleep training, our baby has rarely cried in the car and seems to mostly enjoy it!

"Thank you so much to Christine and Cradle 2 Kindy for helping understand how to help our lovely baby! We are sooooooo glad that we chose to do it with our first baby before he got too big. I definitely have imagined a much grumpier, less confident version of myself a year from now if not."

Learn how I can help you and your little one get the sleep you need:

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My clients enjoy an exclusive Facebook group so they can benefit from Live video Q&A and demonstrations like this one.

When I do home consultations or online consultations I will demonstrate my techniques first-hand. Clients can then refresh their memory by viewing videos like this later or showing their partners how to do the techniques.

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RECOMMENDED READING:

What Is an Emotionally-healthy Childhood? We know how many adult problems come down to issues from childhood - but what exactly is that wondrous, hugely desirable thing, an emotionally-healthy childh...

A toddler bites her friend when he won't share the toy she desires. A baby throws his food on the floor. A preschooler draws on her bedroom wall.

Depending on your own upbringing, many parents might utilize a time out or sharp tap on the hand followed by a stern "No!" or simply resort to distraction to deal with the behaviour.

The last thing we feel like doing is bringing the offending youngster in for a cuddle. Isn't coddling just rewarding the bad behaviour?

Babies, toddlers and young children do not know how to use their words to let us know what they are feeling or needing at any given time. A baby will cry to let us know she needs sustenance. A toddler will hit when she feels misunderstood or needs attention. A preschooler will have a tantrum when she is experiencing so many feelings and unfulfilled needs that she can't control herself.

The behaviour is merely the tip of the iceberg. Below the surface are all the feelings and needs that are causing the behaviour.

As the adult, it is our task to provide safe and firm, loving boundaries around our children. We are their teacher, their safe space to make mistakes and learn. When they venture out from us and explore the world they feel confident that we have shown them the way to go forward. And when they need us, we draw them in close to give them what they need. Like a rubber band stretching out and coming back in.

Young children need our loving, calm approach to teach them how to manage their emotions and upsets and how to communicate their needs.

Start today, by lowering the volume and tone of your voice. Get on your child's eye level and let them experience your safe, unconditional soft touch. They messed up. You will help them fix it and learn from their mistake. They will mess up again. You will acknowledge their feelings and needs and provide a firm, consistent boundary for their own and others' safety.

You are not rewarding them.

You are showing them how to grow emotionally and become resilient and independent. Teaching them what is safe and harmful.

You, too, will mess up. Model for them that you can bounce back from your own mistakes and learn from them. Apologise to your young children and allow them to show you the same unconditional love you have demonstrated to them over and over again.

Become a member today to learn how we can help you approach your little one's behaviour in a manner that they have a better understanding of themselves, their relationship with you and the world. Let us help you grow amazing people that will do amazing things.

Become a member today: http://cradle2kindy.com.au?utm_campaign=meetedgar&utm_medium=social&utm_source=meetedgar.com

RECOMMENDED READING:

Do Children Misbehave? - Gordon Training International If parents only knew how much trouble this concept causes in families. Thinking in terms of children misbehaving not only spells trouble for kids...