27/09/2026
Iāve spent the morning doing housework: cleaning, washing and prepping for the week ahead. Iāve earned the right to rest⦠but, do we really need to earn it?
I sometimes still struggle with permitting myself to rest. I have accumulated plenty of regulating resources as a NS educator and Iām no longer stuck in dysregulation most of the time. But still, intentional recovery is something I sometimes feel I havenāt yet earned the right to. Despite how much I do.
Growing up, certain family members labelled my dysregulation and shut down as laziness, or not pulling my weight. I felt misunderstood.
It wasnāt because I was lazy or didnāt want to help - I was physically and mentally exhausted much of the time. I had moments where I was doing much of the helping, but I didnāt balance that people pleasing with enough rest for myself.
When youāre a kid, you donāt think about that; especially when youāre more focused on the needs and emotions of your caregivers.
Most of the time I simply didnāt have the energy or resources to engage; I couldnāt move. When I wasnāt wrestling with myself in functional freeze trying to be a good girl, to earn my place, appease, feel enough, do enough and validate my emotions and needs until I collapsed⦠I was checked out and dissociated. Time passed me by. I felt numb and didnāt notice the world around me.
Choosing to rest after periods of intense or even normal activities, or high activation of stress and responsibility that require your attention and effort, is essential to balance your energy and capacity so you can keep on giving and doing.
It can be a hard lesson to learn, particularly if you received messages similar to me growing up. But with consistent practice, awareness and compassion for yourself, and acknowledgment of your own needs, you can gradually expand your tolerance for giving yourself permission to rest.
With time and consistency you can begin to choose rest simply because you need it - no guilt, no judgment, no urge to do anything accept whatever nurtures your soul.
If you need rest, take it. - Viki, MBFI Director