19/11/2017
The Journey Within.
Happy Monday!
When you embark on the road to self discovery and personal change it can be confronting, abrupt and uncomfortable.
All the things you've spent a lifetime trying to avoid.
It's when we decide that we want change that we realise just how difficult it can be to achieve.
There are a number of reasons for this, however what I'd like to talk about is how to set yourself up for success and the tools that you already have that can help you cross that bridge from where you to where you want to be.
'If you fail to plan, you plan to fail'- Benjamin Franklin.
Thanks Ben, I could have used this advice 15 years ago.
I remember making a decision to stop drinking and partying so much and focus on my mental and physical health.
I made this decision on the way to work one Monday morning while I was extremely hungover and very broke.
While my intention was in the right place, what I hadn't done is put anything in place to support this new way of thinking.
So, as soon as I was presented with the opportunity that supported my old ways of thinking and behaving I became the captain of the whoops train on a one way trip to benderville again without a second thought.
In my circle of friends I was 'that' guy. It took time and effort to reposition myself into my social network as anything other than the party boy that loved a good vomit and playing air guitar.
Then came the guilt. I felt guilty for letting myself down and when I attempted to make change and repositioning myself in my social setting, letting my friends down that were so accustomed to me being so self destructive.
This was a cycle I found myself regularly until it got to the point I was fired from my job then kicked out of where I was living.
I was looking for drastic change, and I definitely found it.
I hadn't quite reached the level of personal accountability that I have now at the time and spent a while looking for someone to pin the blame on 'oh, they fired me because they were over staffed' 'I didn't like the job anyway'
The reality was I knew there was more to my life that what I was doing. I felt a deep pull from within that I'd spent a long time trying to drown with every beer. Ever.
I'd asked for change and it was given to me, abrupt as it was, it was here.
'We want union, we want connection, we need it the way we need other forms of nutrition, and denied it we delve into these lower impulses for sanctuary'- Russell Brand.
So, how then, can we create positive lasting change?
Glad you asked.
Firstly, getting specific about exactly what it is you want to change in your life and exactly what that looks and feels like to you.
Spend some time writing these out. Be as detailed as you can be. Dream big.
Be brave. Making the decision to change aspects of your life will not only challenge you, but those closest to you.
Who you choose to surround yourself with play a vital role in achieving and maintaining positive change. It is a choice.
Consider your closest friends for a moment and ask yourself this;
Do they support the best version of myself that I can be?
Do they bring value and inspire me to step up and play at 100%?
If they don't, then it's time to reposition yourself in their lives. Sounds simple, can be emotionally challenging, however! It's you that is responsible for your life and the quality of it, not your buddy that wants to play Xbox and drink beer all night.
Keep a diary.
Keeping a diary gives you the opportunity to reflect on where you have come from and identify any habits or patterns of habitual behaviour that maybe sabotaging your new goals.
Cultivate mindfulness.
This was a game changer for me and my life's trajectory.
Going within. It's a wild ride!
In the age of smartphones there is an abundance of choice when it comes to apps and tools for meditation, breathing and mindfulness.
These apps can even send you reminders and track your progress. I know, amazing, right?
Set milestones and CELEBRATE them.
You've been working hard and deserve to be rewarded for it.
It's up to you how you choose to be rewarded and who with.
When you tick off a goal or reach a milestone. Congratulate yourself and you'll feel a renewed sense of motivation for working towards your goals. Remembering that the journey is just as important as the destination (so esoteric, but so true!)
It's ok to not be ok.
Along the way you'll have moments where you'll fall back into old ways of thinking and behaving.
Be gentle and forgiving on yourself. When you're creating new habits and ways of thinking it doesn't mean the old ones don't exist.
Look at it like this;
Your old ways of thinking and behaving are like a well worn bridge that you travel to work on everyday.
Construction has begun on a new 3 lane wide bridge beside the old one to replace it.
Once it's open it's smooth driving and smiles all around. But that doesn't mean the old bridge doesn't exist, intact when the situation and environment is aligned, you can find yourself taking the old bridge to work and being captain of the whoops train again.
This is ok. It's called 'being a human'
Once you become aware of it, and the triggers that got you there, you can be on the look out for them for next time.
Most importantly, have fun doing it. Motivation isn't found, but created through purposeful action.
If you're enjoying stepping up to these changes you're looking to make then you'll feel an intrinsic pull towards them. You'll be hungry for it.
If you're feeling like it's a chore, and you're really having to push yourself to do it, have a look at the changes and what the reason is you're doing them. Constantly reevaluate and reflect. There's no right or wrong here, just results.
Here's to you and your journey.
Ruckus.
