07/08/2026
Have you ever had the feeling, “There’s something wrong with me, but I don’t know why?”
I think this is one of the most painful core beliefs a person can have and the tragedy of it is that because it concerns not what we do, but who we are, it touches the very core of our identity. Importantly, it also manifests in our biology, as specific patterns of autonomic nervous system activation.
If you grew up in an environment where your emotions were constantly criticised, your needs dismissed, or love felt conditional, your nervous system learnt that being yourself wasn’t safe.
For example, maybe you were told you were too sensitive, too emotional, too much, or not enough…you might have even been punished for crying or expressing anger.
And when we depend on the people sending those messages, it’s often safer to believe ‘something is wrong with me’ rather than believing the people we love or rely on aren’t safe.
So we adapt by hiding parts of ourselves…we people please, shrink or strive for perfection to maintain connection.
The beautiful thing is, there is actually nothing to fix or change in order to heal, we just need to help our nervous system realise the danger has passed.
So everytime you’re accepted and able to stay in connection after expressing a need or setting a boundary, and every time you’re fully yourself and experience safety, your nervous system learns something new.
The question then becomes not, “What’s wrong with me?”
But rather, “What does my nervous system need to feel safe enough to be myself?”
Because underneath the fear and shame, there was never anything wrong with you.
If you’re ready to stop believing there’s something wrong with you and start teaching your nervous system that it’s finally safe to be yourself, I’d love to support you ~ I’m currently welcoming new clients for 1:1 counselling, somatic therapy and relational coaching. If this resonates, I’d love to connect. I work online and in person on the Gold Coast. You can book a free introductory call via the link in my bio.
Sending love, Naomi 🌻