Natalie Ellis Coaching

The 4 pillars of communication are effective in any form of communication and relationship. It’s important to understand that we all have our own versions of the world and the way it works. Not one persons is the same.
You don’t ever have to agree with someone but you do have to respect that, that is their interpretation just like yours is your own.
Below is a breakdown of what these are and how to implement them. You can find more things like this in my free E-Book.

1. Awareness- checking your body language, is it calm, is it intimidating, is it relaxed, is it tense. The reason this is important is because it gives the other person a sense of what to expect.

2. Authentic listening- this is essential, especially in any argument or disagreement. This is listening with the intent to understand not the intent to respond

3. Suspending- Pausing and taking a mental break to process the information before responding and consider all avenues.

4. Speak your truth- Understand that your truth is yours, it is not anyone else's. Every single person has a different version of reality, their own view of the world. Not one single persons is the same. You can speak your truth while understanding that you do not have to agree with each other, but that does not give you any right to put down or bully another persons belief or version of events. Validate each other and compromise to find a solution together.

Lately things haven’t been easy to say the least 🙄
It has been overwhelming and I’ve been having a little self pity party.
I was honest, I owned that this is what I have been doing.
My mood has been horrible, I’ve felt tired, zero energy and all round just under a black cloud.
This morning I woke up and though it was a rough night with little man I was not letting today defeat me.
I have had a tip pile outside for months! I’m not joking when I say that it is literally in view everyday from our lounge room window.
I felt it as my reflection today of all the crap I just needed to deal with.
So like my self pity party, I decided to put on my independent woman pants, pack all the crap up and get rid of it!
So off to the tip I went today to dump all my baggage off and start again!

P.S I packed that myself and made it to the tip with nothing falling off!!! Super proud of myself!

That freedom, that light, that courage, that whole you is deep inside just waiting for you to set her free 💛

Hey lovelies!!!
I have been away for a bit with sick kidlets who decided to then also make Mum and Dad sick too. Thankfully it wasn’t the spicy cough and we are all okay now.
During this time I decided to write my very own E-Book and I am so so soooo excited to show it to you.

I will be releasing this officially tomorrow and it is completely free!!!

I’m so excited for this and hope that it helps you on the incredible journey called life that you are all on 💛

If you would like to be one of the first to receive this free E-Book please personal message me your email and I will get it to you as soon as it is launched 💛

Thank you for all of your support and love and here is to being unapologetically you! 😘😘

Happy Mother’s Day to all of our wonderful Mums out there!

Remember you are loved more than you’ll ever know, you are doing the best you can and that is the greatest and you are worth more than you can even imagine.

Let’s talk heartbreak and why it really makes you feel the way you do.

Heartbreaks definition is an overwhelming distress.

Let me elaborate- the reason you feel an overwhelming distress is because of the overload of emotions at once. The reason we feel this way is purely because of one thing. REJECTION.

You’ve been rejected. You cannot comprehend how someone you care so much for does not feel the same about you. You then start to question what is wrong with you for them to not want you.

Rejection is one of the most overwhelming feelings to process because it causes instant doubt and disbelief if yourself and your appearance and plants a seed for you to think you are not good enough.

Often this becomes the reason that people “settle” because they have set a belief system that they aren’t worthy of more.

This is why there is a difference between heartbreak of someone passing away and heartbreak of someone leaving you. Someone passing away is grief ridden heartbreak and completely different.

How you resonate with heartbreak, affects you, your next relationship and your grieving process.

The best way to define any relationship is identifying if it is a need or a want.

You should never ever NEED a relationship. If you feel you need it then you have bigger red flags stemming than you thought. You should always want your relationship and want the person you are with.

By placing a need on it makes you dependant on them and will ruin your relationship. It applies way too much pressure on them and way too much reliance on you. This is often why people stay in DV relationships.

If you aren’t sure on your relationship, ask yourself if it is a need or a want and if it is a need, understand why and fix that dependency.

👩‍👧‍👦In the spirit of Mothers day and how much I love being a Mum, I am giving 2 very special Mummas full access to my Happy Mum program completely free!

Are you struggling with balancing life?
Burning out from the pressure of feeling like you have to have it all together?
Do you feel guilt for wanting alone time as a mum?
Are you lacking motivation or time for self care?

I can help fix all of these things and help you to find the true you as more than just a Mum.
Let’s get you back to loving life and it being a breeze!

All you need to do to enter is tag a Mumma you think deserves time to focus on just her
Like and follow my page
And share this post to your story and tag me!

Winners will be announced 9th of May
Wishing you all good luck and a happy Mother’s Day! ✨✨

What can you do, with what you’ve got, in this moment now?

Often we focus so much of our energy and time thinking about what we don’t have and what we can’t do instead of focusing on what you can.

Now this is not going to change your life just by asking this to yourself BUT it will give you the mind shift to focus on what you have and what you need instead of what you don’t have and what you want.

This is a means of giving yourself direction on what you can do in your situation right now, NOT what can I do if I had this or had that.

We need to give ourselves clarity on what we can do instead of what we can’t to make that mental shift from negatives to positives. If you focus only on negatives you will ALWAYS be let down.

So ask yourself this and see what you can do for yourself today.

Lionesses are the hunters of the pack, we provide for families, we protect the pack, we ensure the children are cared for and learn the skills that they need, if we see another that needs love we reach out with that love.

The problem with this is the pressure and expectation that we put on ourselves to be everything and do everything all of the time and that it needs to be perfect.

The other thing to think of is that women are predators we need to be at the top rank all of the time, and we don’t like things that threaten our position or being. As a pack females help each other to attack prey that is faster and stronger than what they are. This shows that it is instinct to hate or tear down someone who has what we want or is what we want.

Yesterday I asked a few ladies to give me 3 examples of things that they believe women struggle with themselves or with their lives. I was expecting a good few answers… instead I received an entire page of all different answers from each woman. However one thing was all the same. That they are living solely on the expectations of others and not on their own terms or their own way!

There is zero satisfaction because of the constant pressure from other women and society.

Does this not tell you that as women we need to fight for each other, praise each other and rise each other up? Does it not make you realise the amount of pressure we put on each other?? We need to remove the predatory instinct and replace it with the bond and sisterhood that lionesses possess.

Be the right type of lioness and understand you are truely a power woman who does it all! But do it your way!

If you are believing something, that is completely your choice, no one else has made the decision for you to believe it.
But understand that if you choose to believe something, than that is it, it’s ingrained into you that you completely believe it with your entire being.

Now let’s look at how your vision of yourself. Everything you believe negatively about yourself is a seed that you have planted inside and chosen to believe.
It does not mean it’s factual, it does not mean that everyone thinks that way of you. But that is what you think because you have chosen to believe it so in your reality it is true.

When I work with you we switch those negative beliefs to positive ones and we start to choose more wisely about what we allow ourselves to believe about ourself!

This is so important so take note of it the next time you choose to believe something!

What do I do?

I work with women at identifying their true self the person they have always wanted to be.

We work through their limiting beliefs by going back through to their childhood and begin to understand how these beliefs came about and what caused them, by doing this we are able to conquer that belief and replace it with a new one. This helps us in leading to complete self acceptance.

We then look at the steps of getting them to this person they want to be and create a clear pathway for that. We identify their boundaries, triggers and limiting thoughts that may surface so we know exactly what to do when they arise.

By the end of 6 weeks I have women on the clear path to already being who they want to be.

Why am I someone who is good at helping you may ask?

I have the self experience of hitting complete rock bottom, being the toxic person, having to self reflect and decide who I wanted to be and what I really wanted for me, I have been through DV and have had times where I have been stripped of all my own being to be someone else’s version of me and then have had to recreate myself from that.

Each client is not the same but the goal is and we work together to find the correct path for you.
I support all of my clients with unlimited contact so they do not just have my support in a session.

Later today I will post about my two signature 6 week packages that I have to give you a clear rundown of what we do together 💛

How many times have you given up because something didn’t go to plan?

Okay now let me ask you this… How often have you been making food and didn’t have a ingredient you needed but then had to improvise? Or how many times have you been moving house and needed that last item to fit in the car for the trip but the shape isn’t right?

Last night I made stroganoff typical house hold food here in Aus, however I forgot that I didn’t have any cornflour left. So I jumped on google and search what I can use as an alternative.
This morning I was making an omelette as I do most mornings and I consider myself quite good at this task. However this morning just wasn’t happening so I decide eh well I’ll just have scrambled eggs all good.

It got me thinking, why is it that if something doesn’t work in these areas of life we just find an alternative and we’re happy to keep going but yet when it comes to our dreams and goals we give up so easily because our ideal scenario didn’t work.

You weren’t just going to throw that dinner out or those eggs out because you were missing something or it broke are you 🤷‍♀️
No you’re not because you wanted those damn eggs for breakfast.

Well… Chase that damn goal or dream with the exact same mindset and you will never fail. If you are passionate and want something that bad you will find a way. And if the first way doesn’t work you step back evaluate and think of an alternative!

Get out there and chase those goals and dreams 💛

Do you know a candle blower?

A candle blower is someone who finds any way of tearing you down when you’re up.

They interfere with your stories about you with something relatable to themselves instead of listening to steal your shine.

They constantly point out a negative instead of positives.

They are the what if’s type of person.

What we all need in our lives especially as women are igniters. Friends who ignite our flame when we don’t feel like shining. Those who stand back and say “Wow look at that shine she has”.

When evaluating your relationships in life be sure to check which one of these each person is and consider what a candle blower does for you and your well being.

I think there comes a point in your life where you settle. It may not be with someone else it may be on your own but it’s that point where the chaos in your life stops.

For me it was both.
2019 and 2020 were strong times for my self reflection.
I underwent major weight loss, I reflected on what my values and morals are, I reflected on my appearance and what examples I set.

I was one of those people who was surrounded completely by drama all of the time and somehow without even being involved I was involved. It was toxic, I WAS TOXIC.

I have known my partner for a very long time well before we actually got together. But when we did get together things about me changed. I never wanted more kids. Now I have since had a baby and would like another one!
I wasn’t overly fond over marriage yes I had been engaged but the joy of it just wasn’t there for me, now I couldn’t imagine a better day to have. I all up have 13 tattoos that I got ranging from the age of 16-26 that I now hate.

This one is one people don’t seem to understand but it is the most important change for me. I got my tattoos all at struggling points of my life. I got them to represent things I had been through and overcome even to represent me as a person but now my life has changed and I have changed and I don’t want to resonate with that person that I once was anymore, I have grown and I have moved on from it all. I got to the point that I am self conscious of them, they impact my confidence majorly. I used to smile when people complimented them and say aww thanks, now when people do I get embarrassed and almost ashamed. So I decided to get them removed. And let me tell you it is painful!!!

I left a lot behind when my partner and I got together but being with him reminded me who I am and who I wanted to be for my sons and for my partner but most of all for myself and that is the most wholesome feeling ever.

It is good to self reflect it shows you how much you have grown as a person, the chapters of life you have been through and overcome, but we don’t need to live with the burdens of our bad times forever. We grow, we develop, we are resilient.

When did you last self reflect? Don’t wait until you hit rock bottom.

Emotional Validation! This is one of my favourite topics because almost no one does this until they realise what it is and how important it is.

What is emotional validation? Emotional validation is the process of recognising another’s feelings and acknowledging them as important as your own while understanding they may not match your emotions.

Why is this important? Emotional validation helps regulate emotions which is key to understanding yourself and others and how they work as a person.
Knowing that you are heard, understood and acknowledged is one of the most powerful things you could give to another person.

1 key thing to remember though with emotional validation is that you can validate someone without agreeing with them. Everyone has difference feelings, values and emotions and you do not have to agree with each other’s point of views but you should validate that, that is how they are feeling and understand that your views may not always be the same and that is okay.
But do not diminish someone else’s feelings because they do not match yours.

This is key and is critical for a healthy relationship and funnily enough is the one thing we are not taught growing up.

Give it a try next time you and a sibling, friend or partner are having a disagreement. You shouldn’t need to argue you should be able to discuss.