Exceptional Learning

22/09/2026

Your child is not a problem to be fixed. They may simply need someone who understands how their brain works.

I provide neuroaffirming counselling, coaching and practical support for neurodivergent children and young people and their parents.

The work is not about making a child appear more compliant or asking them to hide who they are. It is about helping them understand themselves, build confidence, develop practical strategies and find safer ways through the things that feel difficult.

Sessions might involve talking, games, movement, creativity, humour or working together on a real problem. There is no single formula. We begin with the young person in front of us.

I also work alongside parents, helping families understand what may be happening beneath the behaviour and what support might actually make a difference.

Sessions are available in person at my Dee Why workshop or online.

**If your child needs a space where they can be understood without judgement, book a session with me through the link in my bio.**

25/08/2026

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07/08/2026

'The Extended Mind' by Annie Murphy Paul has had me thinking about the way we support neurodivergent kids.

Paul talks about something called 'offloading cognition', which is really just the idea that we can use our bodies, our environment and other people to help us think. Writing something on a whiteboard, talking an idea through with someone or walking while we're trying to make sense of something isn't necessarily compensating for a weakness.

How often we ask kids with executive functioning difficulties to do exactly the opposite. We tell them to concentrate, organise themselves, often while they're already using an enormous amount of mental energy.

We need to stop asking the brain to work harder and look at what we can move out of the brain altogether.

Most mornings I'll grab a coffee, walk Buster, perhaps read for a while, walk down to the workshop and tidy things up before sitting down with my diary.
I've probably thought of all of that as the stuff I do before I start working. Movement settles me, an organised physical space reduces the noise, and putting the day somewhere I can see it means I don't have to carry it all around in my head.

A visual timetable isn't making things easier because we have lowered our expectations. A whiteboard isn't a crutch. Letting someone talk through a problem isn't preventing independence. Allowing a child to move while thinking doesn't automatically mean they're distracted. Sometimes we are simply changing the environment so there is more brain available for the thing we actually want them to do.

That is something I think we sometimes miss when we talk about building executive functioning. Of course we want kids to develop skills and independence, but independence doesn't mean doing everything inside your own head. Most successful adults surround themselves with calendars, reminders, lists, people, routines and environments that help them function well.

Before we ask a child to try harder to remember, concentrate or organise themselves, could we change something around them so their brain doesn't have to work quite so hard?

Seeing the child differently really does change what becomes possible.

04/08/2026

One of the things I've noticed over the years is that many children seem to have become uncomfortable with being bored.

It doesn't take long before they reach for a screen, ask what's next or tell us there's nothing to do.

We've become so used to constant stimulation that the absence of it can feel uncomfortable. Somewhere along the way we've started believing that children should be happy, entertained and engaged all the time. I'm not sure that's ever been true.

I was reading The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor recently, and one of his ideas really resonated with me. He suggests that positive emotions help us think more clearly, become more creative and cope better with life's challenges. I agree with that, but I also think we need to be careful about how we interpret it.

Children need to experience joy, excitement and success, but they also need to experience waiting, disappointment, frustration and yes... boredom.

Some of the most creative children I've worked with didn't produce their best ideas while staring at a screen. They built cubbies, drew comics, invented games, created imaginary worlds or simply sat quietly long enough for their imagination to take over.

Boredom isn't always something to fix. Sometimes it's the space where creativity begins. The same is true for happiness.

I don't think our job is to make sure our children are happy every minute of every day. Life simply doesn't work like that. School can be hard. Friendships can be complicated. Families have difficult days. Learning new skills is often frustrating before it becomes rewarding.

Our role isn't to remove every uncomfortable feeling. It's to help children discover that they can move through those feelings without being overwhelmed by them.

When children learn that they don't need constant entertainment to feel okay, they begin to develop something much more valuable than happiness. They develop resilience, patience, creativity and an understanding that purpose often grows through challenge rather than comfort.

"Children don't need a life free from boredom or disappointment. They need the confidence that they can grow through both."
Wired for Purpose

Perhaps the next time your child says, "I'm bored," pause before reaching for a solution. You might just be witnessing the beginning of their next great idea.

Simon da Roza
Founder, Exceptional Learners

03/08/2026

I've been reflecting on my last post about supporting those who support our kids, and it reminded me of something I haven't shared before.

Nearly eighteen years ago I was a classroom teacher. I cared deeply about my students, wanted them to succeed and thought I was doing a pretty good job. Looking back now, I realise there was a lot I didn't understand about neurodiversity. I saw behaviour, but I didn't always see what was driving it.

That changed because of two parents.

They could have walked away thinking I was just another teacher who didn't get it. They could have complained about me, written me off or decided I wasn't worth the effort. Instead, they chose to bring me with them. They shared articles, answered my endless questions and gently challenged some of my assumptions. They didn't make me feel foolish. They made me curious.

I often think about those parents because they probably have no idea how much they changed my life. They didn't just help me understand their own child. They changed the way I looked at every child after that. That curiosity eventually led me to study further, leave teaching, establish Exceptional Learners and spend the past eighteen years working alongside thousands of children, parents and educators.

It's one of the reasons I'm always careful about assuming the worst of teachers and schools. Of course, there are times when we have to advocate strongly for our children. Sometimes systems need to be challenged and expectations need to be higher. But I've also met hundreds of teachers who care deeply and simply haven't yet had the opportunity to learn what many of us now know about ADHD, autism, giftedness and executive functioning.

Somewhere today there is another teacher like I was all those years ago. Someone who wants to help but hasn't yet had that conversation that changes everything. If we can find that spark of curiosity and nurture it, we may not just change one child's experience. We may change the lives of hundreds of children who will pass through that teacher's classroom over the next twenty years.

"Sometimes the most powerful advocacy isn't winning the argument. It's helping someone see a child through a different lens."
Wired for Purpose

Supporting those who support our kids isn't about lowering expectations or avoiding difficult conversations. It's about recognising that lasting change often begins with one person being willing to learn and another being generous enough to teach.

Simon da Roza
Founder, Exceptional Learners

31/07/2026

“A child cannot borrow calm from an adult whose own capacity has been spent.”
Wired for Purpose

23/07/2026

Homework isn't the goal. Learning is.

One of the questions I'm often asked is whether children, particularly those with ADHD, should be doing homework.

Like many things in education, I don't think the answer is simply yes or no. It depends on what the homework is trying to achieve and whether it is actually helping the child learn.

There is an important difference between homework and study, and I think we sometimes use those words as though they mean the same thing.

Homework is the task a teacher sends home.

Study is the process of learning how your own brain remembers information, organises ideas, retrieves knowledge under pressure and prepares for assessment. Those are skills that take years to develop, particularly for students with executive functioning challenges.

The research tells us that homework has relatively little impact in the primary years, but its value increases through secondary school when it is purposeful, directly connected to classroom learning and helps students retrieve and practise what they have learnt. Simply spending more time on homework doesn't necessarily produce better learning.

This becomes particularly important in Years 9 and 10. Those years provide an opportunity for young people to discover how they learn best before the demands of the HSC arrive. If students can begin building effective study habits early by using retrieval practice, flashcards, practice questions, summary sheets and other active learning strategies, they enter Years 11 and 12 with skills they can rely on rather than trying to invent a study routine under pressure.

Parents have an important role to play here. It is easy to become focused on getting tonight's homework finished, particularly after a long day when everyone is tired. Sometimes it is worth stepping back and asking whether the goal is simply completing the task or helping a young person become a more independent learner.

I'd much rather see twenty minutes of purposeful learning than two hours of frustration.

Children won't remember every worksheet they completed. What stays with them is whether they developed the confidence to tackle new learning and the belief that they could work things out for themselves.

"Homework is something schools give children. Learning is a skill they carry with them for the rest of their lives."
— Wired for Purpose

23/07/2026

Parenting was never meant to be a solo sport

One of the saddest things I see is parents quietly believing they're not enough.

They wonder if they're reading enough, playing enough, attending enough therapies, advocating enough at school or simply spending enough quality time with their children. They go to bed exhausted, yet still feel guilty they could have done more.

The truth is, we've never expected more of parents than we do today.

Many of us are raising children without the village that once surrounded families. We're expected to be teacher, counsellor, coach, therapist, taxi driver and advocate, often while juggling work, relationships and the rest of life.

For parents of neurodivergent children, it's another level again.

What strikes me most is that children ask for help all the time, yet adults often see asking for help as a sign they're failing.

Maybe we've got that backwards.

Parenting was never meant to be done alone. Strong families aren't the ones who never need support. They're the ones who know when to reach for it.

"Asking for help doesn't mean you're failing your children. It means you're making sure you don't have to carry them alone."
— Wired for Purpose

If today feels heavy, tell someone. Parenting is hard enough without trying to prove you can do it all yourself.

22/07/2026

A plan is only useful when things become difficult

Over the years I have read many carefully prepared learning plans, behaviour plans and adjustment plans. Most contain sensible ideas. They describe the child’s needs, identify triggers and explain what adults can do to help.

The real test, however, does not come during the calm meeting where everybody agrees with the plan. It comes on a difficult Tuesday morning when the classroom is busy, the child is overwhelmed and the adults are under pressure.

That is when understanding has to become practice.

A child who is flooded may not be able to explain what is wrong, remember the strategy they were taught or calmly request an adjustment. The adults around them may need to recognise the signs early, reduce language, create space and help the child regain access to the thinking part of their brain.

This is not about excusing unsafe behaviour or pretending that other people do not matter. Safety remains important. So does accountability. The difference is that we respond in a way that helps the child become regulated enough to learn from what happened, rather than escalating the situation and then punishing them for losing skills they could not access.

Sometimes schools write plans for children when what is really needed is a plan for the adults. Who notices the early signs? What happens next? Where can the child go? Who communicates with the family? How will everyone reconnect afterwards?

A document does not create safety by itself. Shared understanding, preparation and calm adults do.

“A support plan is not measured by how carefully it is written. It is measured by what happens when a child can no longer manage alone.”
— Wired for Purpose

This week, take another look at one child’s support plan and ask a practical question: Would every adult involved know what to do during the hardest five minutes of that child’s day?