BeingHuman.au

BeingHuman.au The creation of experiences of human connection

Here's something every dad and father-figure deserves to hear: your son is learning how to be a man by watching you. Not...
11/08/2026

Here's something every dad and father-figure deserves to hear: your son is learning how to be a man by watching you. Not your advice — your ordinary moments.

How you handle a bad day.
How you treat his mum.
Whether you can admit when you're wrong.

That can feel like pressure. It isn't.

He doesn't need a perfect dad.....he needs a present, honest one.

A boy who sees a good man get things wrong and put them right learns more than any lecture could teach.

And you don't need the big talk. The connection happens shoulder to shoulder, a walk, a job in the shed, the drive to training.

Pick one small thing you do together each week, and protect it. Presence beats perfection, every time.

If your son starts echoing the "alpha male" stuff that's everywhere right now, take a breath — it doesn't mean he's head...
01/08/2026

If your son starts echoing the "alpha male" stuff that's everywhere right now, take a breath — it doesn't mean he's heading off the rails.

It usually means he's trying to work out what kind of man to be, and the internet got to him first with an answer.

Try not to panic or lecture. Both tend to push a boy further in. Get curious instead: "What is it you like about that bloke?"

Then offer your honest reflections about your thoughts and experience

You won't win this with one talk.

You win it by talking with your son, rather than talking at your son.

If "how was your day?" only ever gets you a shrug, you're not doing it wrong (and your son isn't shutting you out!)For a...
13/07/2026

If "how was your day?" only ever gets you a shrug, you're not doing it wrong (and your son isn't shutting you out!)

For a lot of boys, a face-to-face, eye-to-eye conversation feels like being put on the spot, and the talk dries up before it starts.

The best conversations with boys often happen shoulder to shoulder, like in the car, on a walk, kicking a footy, doing the dishes together.

Here's the thing I keep coming back to after years of working with boys: most of them aren't closed. The setting's just ...
10/07/2026

Here's the thing I keep coming back to after years of working with boys: most of them aren't closed. The setting's just wrong.

We've inherited an idea that a "real" conversation means sitting a child down, face to face, eye to eye, and talking it through. For a lot of boys, that setup does the opposite of what we want. Direct, sustained eye contact can read as pressure, even as a low-grade threat, and a brain that feels under threat isn't a brain that opens up.

So the talk stalls, everyone feels it, and the story hardens into "he doesn't tell me anything."

Listening is a superpower we all have access to, it is such an underestimated skill in parenting. All your boy wants is...
07/07/2026

Listening is a superpower we all have access to, it is such an underestimated skill in parenting. All your boy wants is to be seen and heard, and as parents, we have the opportunity to do this.

Embrace this superpower!

https://www.joelhines.au/books

Most of us think the problem is that our boys won't talk to us.I'd gently suggest the problem is the questions we ask."W...
01/07/2026

Most of us think the problem is that our boys won't talk to us.

I'd gently suggest the problem is the questions we ask.

"Why did you do that?"
"Don't you think you should…?"
"Is everything okay?"

We mean well. But boys hear these as judgements dressed up as curiosity, and they're not wrong.

So they go quiet, and we walk away convinced he's shut us out.

He hasn't. He's just protecting himself from another interrogation.

Three small shifts that change everything:
1. Trade "why" for "what." "Why did you do that?" puts him on defence. "What were you hoping would happen?" opens him up.
2. Make it open, not closed. "Did you have a good day?" gets you "fine." "What was the best and worst part of your day?" gets you a conversation.
3. Check yourself first. Are you asking because you're genuinely curious or because you want him to land on the answer you've already decided is right? He can feel the difference.

You don't need more questions.
You need a few better ones, asked with real curiosity.

Your time and presence are the most important things you can do to support and assist your son to thrive.Check out my ne...
25/06/2026

Your time and presence are the most important things you can do to support and assist your son to thrive.

Check out my new book https://www.joelhines.au/books

I once worked with a boy who was struggling at school. Every adult was asking him the same thing: "Why aren't you trying...
23/06/2026

I once worked with a boy who was struggling at school. Every adult was asking him the same thing: "Why aren't you trying? Don't you care about your future?"

On a walk one day, I asked something different: "If school could be anything you wanted, what would that look like?"

He was quiet for a long time. Then he started to talk ...really talk.

One curious question opened a door that dozens of "why" questions had kept locked.

What's a question that's opened a door for you (with your own kids, or with a student)?

Can I let you off the hook for a second?Every parent of a boy has asked the dud question. "How was school?" "Fine." "Wha...
18/06/2026

Can I let you off the hook for a second?

Every parent of a boy has asked the dud question. "How was school?" "Fine." "What did you do?" "Nothing." It's almost a script at this point.

It doesn't mean he's hiding something, and it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong.

Boys often bond through doing, not talking. Side by side beats face to face nearly every time.

So here's one small thing to try this week: stop trying to have "the chat."

Drop your best question in the car, on a walk, or while you're washing up together. No eye contact, no spotlight, no pressure.

You might be amazed what comes out when he doesn't feel like he's being interviewed.

Never has it been more important than to show our boys what we see in them. We need to highlight their own unique gifts...
16/06/2026

Never has it been more important than to show our boys what we see in them. We need to highlight their own unique gifts, strengths and talents so they can live into them more fully. This comes through not only in words but in actions as well.

For more practical parenting strategies, check out my new book "Holding Space for Your Son - A Parent's Guide to Raising Boys Who Thrive"

https://www.joelhines.au/books

Address

Daylesford, VIC
3460

Telephone

+61400838335

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when BeingHuman.au posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The School

Send a message to BeingHuman.au:

Shortcuts

Featured

Share

Category