Bianca Neilsen

How much time do we spend learning exactly how to get there, but never deciding what happens after we arrive?

The courses, the books, the strategies, the plans. All of it pointed at some kind of destination.

And yet none of that time goes toward figuring out what that destination is actually supposed to look like. Why do you want those things?

Chances are it is the experiences you are after.

When I read Tim Ferriss' 4 Hour Work Week, what blew my mind was the emphasis he places on getting clear on exactly that.

How many people grind for the dream of travel and end up too old and frail to see the monuments they always planned to visit.

Work out what 'there' is supposed to mean. And chances are, if you really think about it, it is more available to you now than you think!

Don't wait for an experience that might appear very different after the body, which was meant to enjoy it, has spent its years on everything else.

The most important may always remain unobserved.

We are wired to skim past the important and focus on the loudest.

We fill our minds with the 'urgent' over the meaningful, and yet so much of our experience slips through unnoticed.

And when we don’t notice, we can’t act.

And when we can't act, we have an easier time bowing out of the most important things to us.

If you are feeling your sparkle or motivation fading, have a look at where you are focusing your importance.

Have a curious mind to see what the brain is missing and train yourself to see more of what is important to you.

We can be lost and yet still have certainty.

I strongly believe we don't give ourselves enough credit for the way we move through our worlds.

We may not have certainty about where we are going. But certainty that we will figure it out. That we have before, and we will again.

We navigate job changes, heartbreak, loss, and uncertainty, all without a crystal ball, fortune teller, or course creator telling us the exact path that will unfold.

That is not being lost.

It is all part of the scenery we see on the ticket called life.

And there is more certainty that we experience than we ever stop to acknowledge.

I am not loyal to any one thing...

This has become one of my mantras over life.

I don't know when it started, but hanging around in thoughts about impermanence for too long will do that to you.

It is not toward people necessarily, but, I guess, more of a deep hug from within that we don't truly own anything.

- Houses get sold
- Bank accounts close
- Clothes go to charity
- Accounts deactivated

This generation, whichever letter you want to throw at them, seems to understand this better than most. Loyalty may be the very thing that holds us to a life we would have been better walking away from.

Nobody should spend 40 years out of loyalty to something that was never loyal back.

The world is subjective. And yet we hand our personality over to questionnaires.

Left or right. Always or sometimes. Agree or disagree.

And suddenly we have a result that is definitive?

A label that explains our shortfalls, tendencies, and trajectory.

I think not...
Are we ever measuring a perfect reality?
How do we answer these questions during weeks of burnout, while hungry, or frustrated af?

A question might even have a different answer based on what you experienced that morning.

Your answers are a snapshot, not a locked-in trait to live into continuously.

Personality frameworks can be useful.
But they are NOT a fixed truth about who you are.

You can choose differently.
Any day.
Every day.

Show up.

Not just because you're in the mood or the conditions are right.

Just show up.

There will be days when procrastinating, distracting and being small feel like viable options. But you don't know what the day holds until you are fully in it.

You might hear something that hits differently. See a face that reminds you of your why. Find a moment that catches you off guard, or something might even remind you why you do this at all.

Whatever your version of showing up looks like, the job is rarely just the job. The workout is rarely just the workout. The hobby is rarely just the hobby.

It is the people. The moments. The things that only happen when you are actually there.

So go. Rock up as you are.

Whether you fold under stress or find the moments that make it worth it.

You might as well enjoy it.

Be someone you cannot compete with.
If you're doing the things that light you up... That truly brings energy to you.

Then there is no competition for that. While people are trying to figure out what you are doing, you are having fun, and there's no race for that.

Because every skill acquisition has no end in sight. You know that, don't you?
A virtuoso exists for that reason.

We can listen to others and get the false impression that we're doing things wrong. That we 'should be doing this', or 'should be doing that'.

But ultimately, the people recommending "should" haven't found a way to turn it into a 'can't live without'.

If you took away what 'should be' and started seeing 'what is', your decisions would become much clearer.

You stop making decisions based on expectations and start making them based on reality.

Just because something is hard doesn't mean you're on the wrong path.

Especially in business.

There are a lot of smoke and mirrors.

We believe in highlighted reels.
We expect our journey to look the same.
We compare ourselves to overnight success.

Then we wonder why our thinking becomes foggy.

Start noticing... What is actually happening?

Not what 'should' happen...

The clearer you can separate expectation from reality, the better your decisions become.

Don't let anyone tell you not to have multiple interests. Especially the algorithm.

Because when it comes to showing you content, the same "pick a niche and stay in your lane" does not apply.

The algorithm will show you cat videos followed by games, ads, and business systems, all completely different.

It's all about getting them into a shape the system can use.

Think about your own habits. If you watch a YouTube tutorial and have your answer solved in seconds, you probably aren't sticking around for more.

But someone who solves your problem while also creating interest in parallel has a much better chance of keeping you there.

So if you're struggling to find your niche, maybe it's less about narrowing down and more about shaping what you know into a connected experience.

We like to think we have life figured out. Then life reminds us that we never really do.

I think back to 2017 and the future I was so carefully planning. It looked nothing like the life that unfolded.

For me, illness changed everything. It pulled me out of the future and dropped me into the present. I stopped worrying so much about where I was going because all I had was where I was.

Life has a way of changing the plan. It might be illness. It might be loss. It might be an unexpected opportunity. Whatever it is, it reminds us that tomorrow is never guaranteed.

We spend so much time planning our lives that we forget to notice the life unfolding while we're making those plans.

Life isn't just what we hope will happen. It's also what happens while we're busy planning for something else.