Ever found your body responding (or not responding) how you want it to? When it comes to intimacy, it’s so common and totally normal!
Sometimes our mind will be 100% on and our body will be offline. ⛓️💥
Other times our body is acting like it’s raring to go and we’re not even aware of it.
That’s ar0usal non-concordance and it’s even more common for people with ADHD.
If you notice your body isn’t producing as much lubrication as you’d like, try these WAP melts from Bawdee Wellness
🌿 They contain all natural plant extracts, hyaluronic acid and probiotics to enhance natural lubrication.
After dissolving they last for about 12 hours and can be safely used with latex and silicone. So you don’t need to keep reapplying l**e during longer sessions 😏
Try them for yourself and use code 10NIC for 10% off your order from Bawdee Wellness
Happy slip and sliding! 💦
Intimacy & Relationships with Nic
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Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Intimacy & Relationships with Nic, Education, Coffs Harbour.
Nicola Bodle is a somatic sexologist and relationship coach, passionate about supporting others to gain confidence in themselves and reconnect with their body and sensuality.
15/08/2026
Feeling disconnected from your body?
Wondering why you don’t want to rip your partner’s clothes off at the end of the day?
Too overwhelmed to even consider pleasure a priority?
Let’s talk about it.
Join me at Alternatives Bookshop in Bellingen on Sunday 23rd August at 5pm for a night of Reclaiming Pleasure. All women and AFAB welcome.
There is no pressure to share anything personal. You can choose to sit back and observe, or ask as many questions as you’d like.
Together we’ll build skills in:
* Pleasure anatomy and nervous system regulation
* Getting out of your head during intimacy
* How to figure out what you like and how to ask for it
* How to create the right context for you to feel desire
This is an intentionally intimate space, and only a few places remain. Make one yours.
https://events.humanitix.com/reclaiming-pleasure-for-women-bellingen
12/08/2026
Have you ever wanted intimacy… but absolutely NOT wanted to be touched?
For a lot of neurodivergent people, the problem isn’t a lack of desire.
It’s that intimacy can come with A LOT of sensory input.
- Skin-on-skin contact.
- Body heat.
- Sweat.
- Hair brushing against your face.
- The smell of someone’s skin.
- The sound of breathing.
- Bright lights.
- Background noise.
- Sheets touching your legs.
And if you’re already at capacity, you can’t really handle much more.
And then add in the emotional and cognitive load of seggs on top of all that…
Your nervous system might eventually go: NOPE. TOO MUCH.
If you’re not aware of what sensory things overwhelm you, then it’s really hard to create the right environment for you to enjoy intimacy, and you may end up avoiding it altogether.
Understanding your sensory preferences can help you communicate what feels good, what doesn’t, and what helps your body stay regulated enough to actually enjoy being intimate.
So I’m curious: what sensory experience can completely change your desire for intimacy?
Tell me in the comments, or save this for the next time your nervous system says “absolutely fu***ng not” when your brain was saying “maybe…”
I’ll be releasing a whole bunch of FREE resources on intimacy and neurodivergence soon, so stick around if you want to be the first to hear about it!
Follow Intimacy & Relationships with Nicola Bodle for grounded, neurodivergent-affirming conversations about intimacy, relationships, pleasure and the nervous system.
Have you ever walked away from an argument feeling like you had to choose between being right and staying connected?
One of the biggest misconceptions I see in relationships is that acknowledging your partner’s feelings means you’re somehow admitting fault or giving up your own perspective.
You’re not. Two things can be true at once.
Healthy communication isn’t about proving whose version of events is correct.
You can feel hurt by the way your partner spoke to you.
And they can genuinely not have intended to hurt you.
Conflict isn’t about deciding whose experience is more valid. It’s about understanding why each person experienced the same moment so differently.
One of the biggest mistakes couples make during conflict is assuming that validating someone’s experience means admitting they’re right or that you’re wrong.
Validation simply means acknowledging that another person’s feelings make sense from their perspective.
It sounds like:
• “I can understand why that upset you.”
• “I can see how you experienced it that way.”
• “That wasn’t my intention, but I understand why it landed like that.”
Notice that none of these statements dismiss your own experience.
Validation isn’t self-abandonment.
You don’t have to minimise your own feelings to make room for someone else’s. In fact, the healthiest conversations happen when both people feel safe enough to say:
“I understand your experience, and I’d like you to understand mine too.”
That’s where repair begins.
Not when one person wins.
Not when someone gives in.
But when both people leave the conversation feeling seen, heard and understood.
My name is Nic and I’m a certified intimacy and relationship practitioner here to help you build more connected, confident and fulfilling relationships.
Save this for the next time an argument starts turning into a battle over who’s right, and follow for more practical intimacy and relationship advice.
23/07/2026
Women of Bellingen, you’re invited.
Join me at the Alternatives Bookshop on Sunday 23 August for a conversation about intimacy and p1easure.
Together, we’ll discuss the differences between desire, p1easure, and ar0usal. You’ll learn how to create the right context for you to feel desire, how to figure out what you like and how to ask for it, as well as build skills in accessing sensation and p1easure in the body.
These intimate events have been happening in Coffs over several months, and the feedback has been overwhelmingly positive, with participants appreciating the “safe, open conversation”, “sharing and laughter” and “hearing other people’s lived experience and interest in the content”. One participant responded: “It felt like we could all achieve anything we wanted.”
These workshops are intentionally intimate and centre on science-based education, somatic practice, nervous system regulation, and communal sharing. The event is fully clothed, and there is no pressure or expectation to participate - each activity is optional. We welcome all women and those assigned female at birth.
Early bird tickets are available until 30 July. Comment READY for access.
PSA: this is your reminder that the pelvic floor is not meant to be switched on all the time!!
An overactive pelvic floor can contribute to pain during intimacy, difficulty inserting tampons, constipation, urinary urgency, lower back or hip tension, and that constant feeling of gripping or bracing.
We’re constantly fed this narrative that we need to strengthen and tighten our pelvic muscles. Instead, we need to learn how to let go. Your pelvic floor should be moving with your diaphragm as you breathe in and out. This openness allows for more enjoyable intimacy and less pain and discomfort.
Here are 5 ways to look after your pelvic floor:
• Breathe into your belly and ribs, allowing the pelvic floor to gently soften on the inhale
• Try supported child’s pose or deep squat stretches with plenty of props
• Practice pelvic floor “drops” - consciously releasing rather than squeezing
• Release jaw and shoulder tension, because the body often holds patterns of bracing together
• Stop power peeing!
A healthy pelvic floor needs both strength and relaxation. If you’re constantly tensing, you may actually be doing more harm than good.
My name is Nic and I’m a certified intimacy and relationship practitioner here to help you have a more fulfilling and authentic intimate life.
Save this for the next time your body feels tight, tense, or disconnected, and follow for more intimacy advice!
20/07/2026
Bellingen, join me for Reclaiming Pleasure, an evening of education and exploration of anatomy, desire, pleasure and the science of feeling good in your body.
You’ll leave with a deeper understanding of your body, along with simple, practical tools to help you feel more connected with yourself and others.
This is a fully clothed conversation for women and AFAB at Alternatives Bookshop on Sunday 23 August at 5pm.
Some early bird tickets are still available. Comment READY and I’ll send you the link!
16/04/2026
A conversation for men on intimacy and communication at .bookshop
You’ll learn skills in:
* Stepping out of performance mode
* Connecting with and being present in your body
* Understanding and communicating your needs and desires
* Listening to your partner and truly giving
This is an intentionally intimate space, so places are limited.
Click here to claim your Sponsored Listing.
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Coffs Harbour, NSW