07/10/2026
Under pressure, most of us fall back on a default response, which often happens before we've even realised it (and has us metaphorically kicking ourselves or stewing on afterwards).
Some of us go straight to the facts - dates, data, policy. Short and clear. Some of us do the opposite - explain everything, apologise, promise too much in an effort to lessen the discomfort.
Some of us push back, others might go quiet and some may doubt their own capability and pass it onto someone else.
Every one of these defaults has a good intention behind it, but if the person you're interacting with doesn't share the same approach, things will go south pretty quickly.
For example, facts can sound blunt and cold. Appeasing can sound confusing. Over-explaining can sound evasive. Going quiet can sound like you're hiding something, especially on the phone or in an email, where the other person can't see your face.
The aim isn't to find the right style. It's to know your default well enough so you can consciously and proactively choose it, rather than have it choose you (and potentially an outcome that creates more hostility and more work).
Which one do you reckon is your automatic go-to when someone raises their voice at you or seems a bit confrontational?
If you'd like your team to be able to identify difficult behaviour and know how to respond to it instead of reacting to it, drop me a line. I'm happy to send you some info.
