Healthy Sense of Self

12/06/2025

Do you find yourself constantly seeking approval from others?

We sure do! We all struggle with the need for validation sometimes. Have you noticed this pattern in your own life?

Antoinetta Vogels, founder of Healthy Sense of Self, explains why so many of us look outside ourselves for love, support, and recognition.

When we chase external approval, we can lose sight of what we truly want from life. Instead, we focus on what we think we "should" be doing in order to receive adoration, praise & acknowledgment from others 🤔

What if we could break free from this cycle?

The journey toward self-worth & living an authentic life that's truly yours starts with recognizing when and how you seek validation and then turning inward. Trust your inner compass ⛵

27 likes, 2 comments. Check out HEALTHY SENSE OF SELF’s video.

28/02/2025

Ever wonder if you are still living a life (as an adult) that's based on your early childhood survival strategies rather than from an authentic place that's true to you?

Find out in this video with Healthy Sense of Self founder and author, Antoinetta Vogels, as she explains what Early Childhood Survival Strategy (ECSS) is and why we developed it when we were growing up.

14/01/2025

What Is the motivation behind your decision-making process?

Have you ever thought about what motivates you to take action? If you’re like many people, you may respond with overarching ambitions like success, happiness, or self-fulfillment.

Maybe when it comes to decision-making you have specific goals aligned with these generalized aspirations. Do you want to build a career, achieve financial stability, start a family, or find an outlet for creative expression?

How about feeling good about yourself? When making decisions, is this one of your requirements? It’s most likely you want to feel good about yourself. Doesn’t everyone?

The truth is, feeling good may be one of your motivations, but not because it’s a healthy or universal one.

If you developed a natural sense of Self in early childhood, the foundation for your self-identity is an unshakable inner knowing of who you are and who you’re not, regardless of others’ opinions.

And though you may not feel great about yourself every day, your sense of self-worth does not suffer from extreme ups and downs.

On the other hand, when you have learned to operate with a substitute sense of Self, you lack that innate knowledge and are instead dependent on achieving through your actions a “feel-good state” that stands in for a sense of emotional wholeness.

Your self-worth is contingent on external results; namely, whether or not people notice and appreciate your accomplishments and provide you with the emotional validation you crave.

Do you know what your true motivation is?

03/01/2025

Authentic Self is a big word. In this video, Antoinetta Vogels, founder of Healthy Sense of Self, breaks it down & explains how it relates to motivation . . .

30/12/2024

What is Fear of Annihilation as it relates to the Sense of Self Method?

This fear is a strong perception of being overlooked, not being seen and heard, not being taken into account, not having any impact in your environment, which is experienced as non-existing.

In this video, Antoinetta Vogels explains more in depth with her coaching client as it relates to the client's fear of failure and rejection.

24/12/2024

Christmas may then be the most wonderful time of the year, getting everything ready increases the amount of care and preparation to the max, and with that stress! Running around in the mall like an ant lost in a haystack, desperately trying to find that one brilliant gift for Aunt Alma who gave us last year that expensive present or going online like a fury trying to find this gift for your mom who has everything already anyway. Now bear with me, please!
What is the one thing we all long for, deep down in our hearts: love and attention and it doesn't cost anything. You can give it while sitting down unhurrying. You can give someone a listening ear, or by actively partaking in their story. We all want to be heard and seen and acknowledged. The frenzy about shopping and giving and eating and drinking only eats up more of our time and energy. We will be exhausted by the time we see our family members. Let's try to make a difference this Christmas and make it a truly happy one, Merry Christmas to y'all!

20/11/2024

What are some common "coping mechanisms"? We all have them.

Coping mechanisms are strategies we often develop in childhood that are based on fear.

The healthier sense of self you have determines how well you attune to and manage the strategies you developed as a child.

14/11/2024

Think back to the last time you found yourself on the brink of a major change. Maybe you felt a need for change. Maybe the change was out of your control—losing your job, for example—and you had to pick up the pieces afterward.

What about the fear of change?
How did you feel in the face of this change? Were you able to evaluate your options and move forward relatively confidently? Or did you feel paralyzed?

Maybe you are still grappling with your fear of making this major life change, feeling like everything is on hold until you’re able to make the necessary choices.

The problem is, you just can’t.

But why do I have a fear of change?
Change implies a loss of routine. Whether the loss is short-term or long-term is immaterial.

With a Substitute Sense of Self, even a temporary loss of routine means a loss of control.

Loss of control threatens your ability to fulfill your Ego-References, personal rules you have set up for yourself in an early phase of your life but which you still perceive as essential to your existence as a “real” person.

Anything that diverts energy from your quest for validation feels like a threat to your very being.

You have a choice.

You do yourself a disservice to remain passive in the face of your fear. Changes will happen regardless, but they won’t be the changes you want to see. Instead of growing, you’ll fall into entropy. Instead of finding fulfillment, you’ll end up mired in frustration—without knowing its source: dependency on approval.

Your fear of change is a coded message from your conditioned self. Listen to your deepest Self, your Authentic Self! Discover more by clicking the link in our bio.

Change is good! Change = growth & transformation. Let's go, Butterfly 🦋

#2025

04/11/2024

Have you heard of “emotional intelligence,” or EI for short? It’s a hot topic these days, and with good reason. So, what exactly is emotional intelligence?

It has a lot to do with self-awareness. For some people, self-awareness comes naturally, for others it may take some practice. Wherever you’re starting from, you can always improve and become more aware of the emotions you’re experiencing, why they’re coming up, and how you’re showing up to the world.

The important thing here is to be an impartial observer. You don’t need to judge your feelings, just watch them arise. According to Daniel Goleman, author of the book "Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ," EI is made up of 4 different aspects.

Check out the infographic in the link below to learn more about EI.

What is emotional intelligence? And why does it matter? Find out in this article from Healthy Sense of Self. It's all about increasing your awareness!

21/10/2024

What do you value most? It can be daunting to commit to aligning your life with your values if you've never pondered this question. The fear of commitment often stems from seeking constant approval and being addicted to a "feel-good state."

Commitment is not about an elusive future goal; it's about daily alignment with your values. It involves taking small steps consistently, not giant leaps.

The desire for self-approval can become compulsive, leading to seeking validation from others. This behavior indicates a reliance on a Substitute Sense of Self (SSoS) rather than a Healthy Sense of Self.

Living authentically and committing to your values towards personal success may feel risky when operating from a false self. However, the rewards of staying true to yourself far outweigh the temporary comfort of seeking approval.

Remember, commitment is about honoring your values daily, not about seeking external validation. Embrace the journey of personal growth by staying true to yourself at every step. 🦋

Please join in the discussion via TikTok

26 likes, 6 comments. Check out HEALTHY SENSE OF SELF’s video.