Brokenness To Brilliance

THE UNRESOLVED ECHO

Sometimes the edges of belonging don’t quite meet. Sometimes you find yourself standing slightly to the side of where you thought you would belong....

The Unresolved Echo Sometimes the edges of belonging don’t quite meet. Sometimes you find yourself standing slightly to the side of where you thought you would belong.

CARRIED BY MERCY

I didn’t grow up with language for our Jewish heritage, but I did grow up with a sense that our family carried something old. And so, in these days, aware of the mercy that has carried my own people, may that mercy now hold those who grieve....

CARRIED BY MERCY I didn’t grow up with language for our Jewish heritage, but I did grow up with a sense that our family carried something old. And so, in these days, aware of the mercy that has carried my own peopl…

“Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” Maybe you’ve prayed that too, not knowing just how deeply God would take you at your word. Maybe, like me, you once scribbled hopes in the margins of your Bible. Dreams that looked like maps, tracing the outline of a life you longed to pour out for others....

Maps in the Margins “Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” Maybe you’ve prayed that too, not knowing just how deeply God would take you at your word. Maybe, like me, you once scribbled hop…

Jesus Never Sent Her Back to the Kitchen

I once sat across the table from three men as they calmly explained why women should remain silent in church and why they shouldn’t hold positions of leadership over men, especially not over their husbands.

They spoke with such conviction, and yet not one of them had a daughter. Only sons.

I couldn’t help but wonder if their theology would be different if a daughter they loved was on the receiving end of it. A daughter gifted to preach, lead, teach, or build! A daughter longing to serve God not just quietly in the background, but boldly out front!

For thousands of years, scripture has been used to silence women. It’s been used as a ceiling rather than a calling. But the truth is, context matters. Cultural understanding matters. And when women begin to grasp the historical setting and the heart of Jesus, you can see the flicker of light and hope come on in their eyes.

Take the story of Mary and Martha for example. In the Bible, Luke 10 recalls how Mary takes a position no woman in her time was ever meant to take: at the feet of a rabbi. That place was reserved for male disciples who were in training to become teachers themselves. But there she sat, right in the posture and place of a student, listening intently as Jesus taught. And what did He do? Did He correct her? Send her back to the kitchen?

No! He praised her.

All while Martha, doing what was religiously and culturally expected of women, tried to call Mary back into her place. But Jesus wouldn’t let her be pulled down. In fact, He gently rebuked Martha and defended Mary’s decision to sit and learn. “Mary has chosen what is better,” He said, “and it will not be taken away from her.”

Jesus was a culture-shifter. A tradition-breaker. Especially when it came to the religious structures that kept women small, silent, and invisible.

And so…here’s what I know without apology. The gospel never shrinks a woman’s voice. It amplifies it.

It doesn’t sideline her gifts. It commissions them.

So to every woman who’s been made to feel like she’s too much, not enough, out of place, or out of order, hear this! Jesus doesn’t see you as too much. He sees you as chosen, and He invites you to sit at His feet, just like Mary did. He has called you to stand in the place He prepared for you. You stand clothed in His authority, without apology or hesitation.

Secrets and lies can create deep shame, the kind that causes us to hide from others and even from ourselves, building walls we feel we must protect at all costs.

That’s why Brene Brown’s words resonate so deeply with me: “If we’re going to find our way back to each other, we have to understand and know empathy, because empathy is the antidote to shame. If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount in a petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle are, me too.”

Choosing vulnerability may feel scary, but it’s also the beginning of healing. When we find the courage to lower our defenses and face our shame with kindness, we open the door to freedom. It’s in that place of honesty and grace that we find our way home, reconciled to ourselves, to others, and to God, where true wholeness is found.

When False Accusations Reopen Old Wounds

Imagine surviving something that shattered you, only to have someone accuse you of being fake or disloyal just because they think you’re not taking their side. That accusation isn’t just unfair, it can reopen deep wounds.

For those with PTSD, certain people, situations, or events can bring past trauma rushing back, making it feel like it’s happening all over again. Unlike regular triggers that bring back painful memories, these experiences reignite the same feelings of fear, powerlessness, and emotional devastation, without the trauma itself repeating.

If someone doesn’t support you the way you expect, take a step back and consider this: Maybe they’re protecting themselves from reliving their worst memories. Maybe it’s not about you at all.

Let’s be honest, some days choosing kindness and grace feels almost impossible. Some days, they slip through our fingers as quickly as the seconds on a clock, barely noticed. And yet, that’s exactly why they matter so much.

Lately, I’ve watched my daughter navigate the sting of unkindness from someone in her life, someone attempting to make her feel small, insignificant, unseen, and unwanted. It’s tough, but even in the face of that, I see something amazing happening.

I see her grace rising. Her resolve strengthening. She’s learning that her identity isn’t rooted in how others treat her, but in who she chooses to be. Each day, she finds the grace to choose kindness. To stand firm in qualities the world often overlooks like love, patience, gentleness, and self-control.

She reminds me that kindness isn’t weakness, and grace isn’t passive. They require strength, courage, and faith. And when we choose them, even on the hardest days, we reflect the One who first gave them to us.

The Unsent Letter
In the quiet of my sunroom, I sit with my thoughts. The musings are not quite as blank as the page in front of me. My dishevelled mind hovers, like a hesitant friend who doesn’t know what to say. I’m here to write a letter, or maybe just pretend to. I’ve written many unsent letters over the years. So, here I am, just me, my thoughts, and the madness that threatens to steal my peace.
People are quick to make assumptions, and even quicker to judge, like warped ideas that turn into some version of truth that doesn’t exist, or even belong to me. I used to cry rivers over it. So many tears, full of stories that no one had time to notice through the chaos of their own private battles. I’ve been called emotional and manipulative, but they never saw the real story hidden in plain sight. They never saw the freeze.
Today, I know the freedom found in pursuing peace and being truly honest with myself. And yet when faced with misunderstanding, I still freeze. It’s a weird kind of loneliness, like being momentarily caught in a storm that isn’t even yours. Then I remember to pause, and to watch. Because, in the shadows one person’s peace is often another’s pain. I’ve learned to follow the flow, like the traveller moving through the shadows.
And so, I encourage you to write with me. Not to send, but just to quiet the noise around you, to be still and know. For me, these unsent letters have become a place where honour is nurtured. A way to turn pain into kindness, and hurt into healing. After all, I’m just a traveller moving through the shadows, writing my way back to peace, one unsent letter at a time.

THE UNSENT LETTER My dishevelled mind hovers, like a hesitant friend who doesn’t know what to say. I’m here to write a letter, or maybe just pretend to. I’ve written many unsent letters over the years. So, here I am…

School holidays are here and can bring a whole range of emotions …. a sense of excitement, joy and wonder, relief, exhaustion, frustration, stress, loneliness, boredom, sadness …

Whether you are a young person, a parent or a teacher this can be a challenging time. If you are finding it difficult to be with your family, or to juggle work and family responsibilities, please reach out. I would love to support you and help you navigate this season.

We simply must do better, listen more, see more, and believe more. A woman (or man) is NEVER responsible for abuse…EVER!!
Unfortunately, when most Christians approach a troubled marriage, they think of the marriage’s problem as involving two sinners who are each contributing sinful patterns to the relationship. If we fail to take into account the possible presence of oppressive dynamics, we will fail to help—or, worse, will unknowingly cause victims harm. Assessing the severity of entitlement when we encounter marital conflict is one way that we can begin to detect whether abuse is occurring. [Exert from “Is It Abuse” by Darby A Strickland]

Pruning Day🍇💚

Calling isn’t easy, we’re fooling ourselves if we think it is. Accomplishments take time, determination and hard work, sometimes really hard work. Whether it’s raising children, maintaining relationships, professional growth or academic success, our greatest accomplishments take time, commitment and energy.

It’s here I find myself pondering the investment made by a winemaker. I recently heard a winemaker say, “The most important thing in winemaking is the vineyard”. I love that! Good wine isn’t cheap because the vineyard must be maintained, the vines pruned, the fruit harvested, the grapes crushed, the wine fermented, and then fermented again. Only then is the wine left to mature, before being filtered to remove the sediment.

We use the term “aging like fine wine” as a term of endearment, but fine wines, the best wines, come at great cost. Weighing up the cost is challenging, isn’t it? We often avoid the pain of being pruned, by rejecting humility in favour of prideful protection.

The winemaking process bursts with meaning and metaphor, like courageously and humbly pruning off old habits, character flaws, even relationships that no longer serve us, or bring joy. Pruning removes the old, dead wood and profoundly impacts the quality of the new wine. The pruning process makes space for air to flow and sunlight, trimming off the previous season’s growth to make way for the coming harvest.

Winter is pruning season. New growth will be determined by the cuts we make during those long cold days, when growth seems to illude us. When nothing can relieve the bitter cold of loneliness, even despair. The winter isn’t pretty, there are no buds, no foliage and no colour on the vines. The growth happens in the secret place, below the surface as the root system expands, soaking up as many nutrients as possible, in preparation for the coming season of growth.

Have you ever felt like you’re being pruned? It feels like the dark night of the soul, and it’s just that, your soul. Mind games fuelled by emotions that keep us bound and stuck in never ending loops of anxiety and despair. The heat comes and we retreat, fiercely protecting ourselves from the pruning shears. I know, because I’ve cowered in the corner and hidden from pain. It’s fine for a while, until next time the heat comes, and the despair deepens.

Winemaking is a centuries-old profession so it’s little wonder Jesus found so much meaning in the analogy. I’ve heard it said that grapevines can produce fruit for thirty to fifty years, so the vinedresser comes to know each vine. Every year the vinedresser cuts away the old growth and trims away the excess buds so the vine can flourish.

Pruning is humbling and sometimes it’s really painful as people bring out the best and worst in us. Every time I hear my sister brace herself by saying, “Don’t take this the wrong way,” I know I’m about to receive an opportunity for feedback and growth. These days our relationship is flourishing, because I courageously pruned away the old habits, and the pain of my own self-judgements and lies.

Good wine isn’t cheap, and neither is growth, it takes time to flourish. In the secret place, where it seems like nothing is happening, we can hear the voice of the vinedresser as He tends to the vine. Let go of the offences and hurts that keep you entangled with the past. Then as the seasons change and the warmth of the sunlight breaks through, you will breathe again. It’s in the letting go that life bursts open with the vibrance and sounds of increased capacity and growth for the coming season.

🔗https://bellegrant.com/2024/04/06/pruning-day/