Grief Practice Institute

"𝗔 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗢𝗯𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱” : A Grief Story across 3 days

Gratitude, like Grief, rarely arrives in straight lines (well, mine doesn’t).

In the context of recent health changes, and uncertainty about the trajectory of chronic rejection of my double lung transplant from 27 years ago, I’ve been observing grief from both personal and professional perspectives - with curiosity.

Over three days last week, I noticed Gratitude in grief - and its wild spectrum that mirrors the deeply personal, fluid, and dynamic nature of grief itself.
𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆: I see the Dual Process Model and the oscillation between the depths of loss and the business of living. And I notice Meaning-making - idiosyncratic and unpredictable, rich with symbolism and metaphors.
𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆: What follows is a window into my own experiences of gratitude and meaning-making — a vivid, meandering path, oscillating randomly between the profound and humorous absurdity.

🌿 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳: 𝘽𝙚𝙮𝙤𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝟱 𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙚𝙨

Understanding grief through the medium of Word Clouds!

1. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗱𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 "𝟱 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳":
—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—imply a linear, orderly, and time-bound experience. But grief rarely fits neatly into these stages or a predictable timeline.

2. 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘅, 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗶𝗱, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹. It's multifaceted nature, represented by just 'a few' of the 𝘃𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗺 𝗼𝗳 𝗲𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹, 𝗽𝘀𝘆𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹, 𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹, 𝘀𝗼𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹, 𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹, 𝗽𝗵𝘆𝘀𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗹 ways that grief may be experienced and expressed. Like Tonkin's metaphor of "growing around grief," we don't move on—we expand, adapt, and grow our lives around our losses.

Let's move beyond oversimplified models and toward a richer, more compassionate understanding of grief.

📚 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘆 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀!

𝗟𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘄: 𝘙𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘎𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘧

Today I’m sharing something personal, both as a grief practitioner and as someone who has lived with the conscious uncertainty of mortality all my life. Recently, I received health-changing news that I have restrictive allograft syndrome (RAS) a type of chronic transplant rejection—another chapter in a life already shaped by cystic fibrosis, double lung transplant, and the countless moments of loss and renewal that accompany every change… and well, ‘Life’.

Here and now, I notice the strength of anticipatory grief—the knot in the chest and the pit of my stomach for what may change, the fear of what might come, and the deep agitation of uncertainty about the path ahead. These feelings don’t arrive in neat stages. They ebb and flow, mingling with hope, gratitude, and—often too (as is usual for me) —a quiet calm acceptance.

I liken my grief to holding a brilliant princess cut diamond. Each facet catching the light or falling into shadow, depending on where I stand and what I’m facing in any one moment. Sometimes fear and sadness are sharp and clear; on others, gratitude or calmness shine through, illuminating the present moment in curious ways.

Professionally, I’ve supported many people navigating their own anticipatory grief, and I recognise the importance of allowing space for all these feelings—in all it's uniquely messy contradictions. Grief isn't tidy, but it can be profoundly meaningful when we allow its many facets to be seen and held with compassion.

As I continue forward, I’m reminded that:
𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝗮𝗺𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘀 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙝 - 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙦𝙪𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙩𝙮.

𝗡𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗴𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳'𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘅𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗲𝘀: 𝗨𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗦𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆

Grief is a profound and multifaceted experience, and sometimes its distress can be misinterpreted, even by professionals. It's crucial to understand that 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 — particularly 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛-𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨, 𝙚𝙭𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨, 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨, 𝙤𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙪𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙮 — can present in ways that appear similar to suicidality, but are fundamentally different.

Here's why this distinction matters:
• 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳-𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 can feel like an unbearable longing to be reunited with the deceased, which might be expressed as "wanting to join them." This isn't necessarily a desire to end one's life, but a deep yearning for connection.
• 𝗘𝘅𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀 often involves questioning the meaning of life without the loved one, or feeling a profound sense of emptiness. While incredibly painful, it's a search for renewed purpose, not always a desire for oblivion.
• 𝗦𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝘀𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗽𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 occur when the loss completely upends one's understanding of safety, predictability, and justice. The world no longer makes sense, leading to feelings of disorientation and a wish to escape the "new reality," which can be misinterpreted as a wish to escape life itself.
• 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 about the future without the deceased can lead to feelings of being lost and overwhelmed, sometimes expressed as "not knowing how to go on." This highlights a need for support and guidance, rather than a direct suicidal intent.

𝙃𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧, 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙢𝙥𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙖𝙘𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚. The intense pain, despair, isolation, and disruption that grief can bring can sometimes lead to genuine suicidal ideation or intent.

As professionals, a thorough and compassionate risk assessment is always paramount when working with individuals experiencing grief. This involves carefully exploring their thoughts, plans, history, and protective factors, distinguishing between expressions of grief that mimic suicidality and actual su***de risk.
Our role is to recognise these nuances and understand the diversity and depth of grief, while also ensuring compassionate and safe care.

💡 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙨𝙠𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛-𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚?
"𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁" a 4-week professional training program designed to deepen your understanding of grief’s complexities and clinical responses.

🔗Learn more or join the next cohort at: 𝘄𝘄𝘄.𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗲.𝗰𝗼𝗺.𝗮𝘂

𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗶𝘀..... 𝘼 𝙂𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙋𝙚𝙖.

Grief doesn’t follow a schedule – it’s time bending.

In the lead-up to the one-year anniversary of Dad’s death, I noticed the steady emotional swell of grief in the background. A thousand memories surfaced around that time… but mostly, what I felt was love, gratitude, quiet sadness. I missed him, but it felt manageable - contained.

Then—out to dinner with my husband—our plates were cleared and one lone green pea was left sitting on the table.

And just like that, here was Grief in all its sudden, sharp intensity.

Dad’s classic joke—one told countless times about “peeing on the table” whenever a rogue pea or two got loose during dinner. Corny, funny, so very 𝘩𝘪𝘮.
In an instant that green pea connected me with him and all the ways he made my childhood special and fun, and unwavering love for me, shaping me to the person I am today, Our continuing bond.

This is the unpredictable nature of grief.
It doesn’t wait for a convenient moment....
It shows up as peas on the table.

As I prepared to launch The Grief Literacy and Practice Blueprint, I interviewed practitioners across disciplines to understand their grief-related challenges.

Common themes emerged:
💠 unacknowledged grief,
💠 limited training,
💠 reliance on outdated models, and
💠 a strong desire for better tools
💠 desire for better tools.

Today, I came across a research article that used "research poetry", and became curious about how it might be applied as a method to distil and reflect the lived professional experiences with grief work.

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙂𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛, reflects the gaps, the realities, and the readiness for something more that practitioners generously shared with me.

If you'd like to find out more about our events and programs:

➡️ Join us on 4th July for a free live webinar 'Are you truly grief-informed?' exploring the foundations of grief literacy in clinical and community practice.

💡 Registrations are currently open for The Grief Literacy and Practice Blueprint—a 4-week online program for professionals seeking confidence, competence, and contemporary tools for grief-informed care.

🔗 Learn more or register via www.griefpracticeinstitute.com.au

𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳-𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲: A necessary companion to Trauma-Informed Practice

In clinical settings, there's now wider acknowledgement of the value of trauma-informed care—recognising how past adversity shapes present functioning. Yet grief, though equally pervasive, is often overlooked.

Grief isn't limited to death-related loss. It can accompany life transitions, health challenges, identity shifts, and dashed hopes and expectations. Like trauma, unresolved grief can influence a client’s emotional regulation, relationships, and presenting concerns—even when grief is not the primary reason for seeking support.

𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙄𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙖 𝙂𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛-𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙚𝙙 𝙇𝙚𝙣𝙨?

✨Enhances clinical assessment by identifying grief responses that may be unacknowledged or misdiagnosed.

✨Supports holistic formulation that considers loss-related meaning-making and adaptation.

✨Reduces the risk of pathologising normative grief reactions.

✨Aligns with trauma-informed values of safety, and empowerment.

By including both lenses into every clinical encounter, we can build deeper understandings of clients’ lived experiences. This dual awareness enhances therapeutic outcomes by validating both trauma and grief as central, interconnected threads in the human story.

How might your current approach shift by consciously integrating a grief-informed perspective alongside your trauma framework?

𝗧𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲, 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁: 𝘄𝘄𝘄.𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗲.𝗰𝗼𝗺.𝗮𝘂

Oh wow! The positive response to the launch of the Grief Practice Institute, has been so wonderful, and so 𝘥𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥.
It's so heartening to know that there are so many out there who care about grief and bereavement support, and recognise the existing gaps in grief-literacy and grief-informed practice.

Thank you to everyone that I've spoken with about our flagship program the '𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁' developed for therapists, counsellors and healthcare professionals who work with grieving and bereaved clients.

🎉I'm so excited to announce that the 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝗮 𝗹𝗮𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗠𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝟭𝟭𝘁𝗵 𝗔𝘂𝗴𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱!
And even more exciting - it's looking like it will be fully subscribed!
There's still the option to 𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 for the beta launch, and/or to 𝗽𝗿𝗲-𝗿𝗲𝗴𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺 𝗹𝗮𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗵 𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿.

I'm so passionate about this work, the Grief Literacy and Practice Blueprint is a testament to my deep desire to do MORE in this space.

And for those who want to take a 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽 𝘁𝗼𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳-𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 - 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗷𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝘂𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗿 𝗝𝘂𝗹𝘆 𝟭𝟭𝘁𝗵. We'd love to see you there ☺️

All the details are on our website: www.griefpracticeinstitute.com.au

Have you ever felt a profound pull to create something that doesn't quite exist, but desperately needs to? That's the deep passion behind my decision to develop the 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝘁𝗲.

As an intro to the ‘w𝗵𝘆’ behind the Grief Practice Institute – 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗮𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗿? And of course, that’s our logo!

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗼 is more than an image - to me it's a powerful metaphor for my practice - representing guidance and safety in the turbulent waters of grief.

I love the lighthouse’s multitude of symbolism. A number of years ago, I came across a huge, framed print of Jean Guichard's famous photo of the lightkeeper at La Jument lighthouse at a local op-shop. I was transfixed by the picture:
• the raging sea perfectly capturing the emotional turmoil of grief,
• the vulnerability of the lighthouse keeper mirroring the profound isolation that many feel, and yet, too
• the strength and safety of the lighthouse offering sanctuary and protection amidst the wildest storm.

I stood in the op-shop for ages deliberating (I probably looked suspicious).
I didn't really have a place for it, and I wasn’t sure whether other people would really connect with the symbolism. But in the end, I couldn’t walk away from it, so it came with me for the bargain price of $15.

It now adorns a wall in my office. And it is a reminder of the genuine need for 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 in the grief support space.

I founded this institute because I recognise there are incredible professionals out there —therapists, counsellors, healthcare providers—who struggle to confidently support grieving clients, often because their foundational training simply didn't equip them for the true complexity of loss.

At Grief Practice Institute, we aim to bridge the gap between good intentions and truly effective grief-informed practice. Our 𝗲𝘃𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗺𝘀, like the 𝗚𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝗟𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗕𝗹𝘂𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝗻𝘁, combine 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗿𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝘀𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀, 𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗴𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. Empowering with tools and skills, not just theory, to confidently navigate the nuances of client’s grief.

Ready to enhance your impact and feel more grounded in your grief support work? Explore our programs and become part of a community committed to elevating grief and bereavement care. I'd love to see you there:
www.griefpracticeinstitute.com.au