30/08/2026
Anger Management
The majority of people I have worked with who have anger-management problems are actually too nice.
Time and time again, I see the same patterns in people, where conditioning from the past drives them to avoid confrontation. There is no space for assertiveness and no protection.
This is because negative conditioning from the past has no flexibility. It categorises everything as either black or white, good or bad, so all the details are lost. Everything that lies between these polarities gets missed.
Anger is seen as bad, dangerous and even terrifying. Therefore, the conditioned mind dictates: “You should never get angry.”
The problem is that anger is a normal, natural emotion. The more you suppress it, the greater the eventual explosion—or the anger gets turned inward, resulting in depression.
Because the conditioned mind has no flexibility and sees only the opposite ends of the spectrum, assertiveness gets thrown into the same basket as aggression. This results in having no self-protection.
Eventually, anger builds up like a pressure cooker because repeated issues don’t get dealt with. Everything just gets swept under the rug.
When anger issues stem from this kind of conditioning, managing anger involves breaking free from past conditioning and, in turn, developing powerful communication and assertiveness skills.
Breaking free from the grip of these patterns involves being willing to confront the need to be liked, accepted and approved of, and starting to stand in and operate from unused parts of the self, where self-worth, self-respect, healthy boundaries and assertiveness become possible.
