The MBA School Of MBA Credentials

Due to popular demand, in the wake of the Adelaide Festival Writers' Week debacle, and inspired by some superb reds consumed in the school bar last night, we have devised a special workshop, titled: How To Write An Earnest Public Statement On Any Matter Even If The Public Has No Idea Who You Are.

We believe that when even two or three people gather for a common purpose, they should experience the cathartic power of issuing a statement and posting it on social media.

In this course you will:
- Learn to ignore the fact that you are not known - write it while you fake it
- How to get the timing right - ensure you are not the first and wait until the "condemned" has been severely weakened so you can posture yourself boldly without fear of reprisal
- What noble statement to choose for each cause
- The benefit of using reversed colours, ie, white on black
- To ignore any sense that you have an unjustified sense of grandeur, the prouder the better

During the workshop, participants will pick a dead author of a classic work to write about, issuing a deplatforming notice by applying today's social standards to yesteryear's conventions. Some examples include:

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain, Frequent racial slurs and stereotypes, despite anti-racism theme.
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To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee, Use of slurs and white savior narrative.
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The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Misogyny, objectification of women, glorification of wealth.
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Lo**ta, Vladimir Nabokov Depiction of pe******ia and child s*xual abuse.

Gone with the Wind, Margaret Mitchell, Romanticises slavery and Confederacy.
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The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger, Profanity, s*xual content, perceived anti-Christian rebellion.
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The Odyssey, Homer, Violence against women (e.g., suitors' maids), patriarchal heroism.
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Othello, William Shakespeare, Racial stereotypes in portrayal of Blackness and jealousy trope.
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Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad, Colonial racism, dehumanizing depictions of Africans.
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Lady Chatterley's Lover, D.H. Lawrence, Explicit s*x, class-crossing affair, ableism toward paralyzed husband.
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Ulysses, James Joyce, Graphic s*xuality, bodily functions, perceived obscenity.

Little House on the Prairie series, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Native American stereotypes, anti-Black slurs, pioneer exceptionalism.

Workshop to be held in our school bar, La Fée Verte (the Green Fairy) cocktails available to help immerse ourselves deeply into the bourgeoisie spirit.

Professor Sebastian Longsword

ATTENTION President Donald J. Trump : While your tariff strategy brilliantly penalises countries like Australia (who you have a trade surplus with!), you've overlooked the biggest untaxed importer to America - THE MOON!

My Longsword Lunometric Tariff Calculation (LLTC) proves the Moon has been manipulating tidal markets, affecting American sleep patterns, and flooding our shores with untaxed moonbeams for CENTURIES!

I've calculated that the Moon deserves a 25% tariff (varying based on lunar phase - details in my latest blog).

This would generate BILLIONS in revenue and finally make Lunar America Great Again!

Mr. President, Americans would be OVER THE MOON if you acted on this astronomical opportunity!

- Professor Sebastian Longsword

CC ABC News Anthony Albanese Guardian Australia

Trump's Tariff Tribulations: The Lunar Loophole That Could Change Everything | The MBA School of MBA Credentials Professor reveals Trump's lunar tariff oversight – his revolutionary calculation proves Australia's 10% fate was written in the stars.

Would you straddle the waters of the Gulf of Longsword? Perhaps if you had a keen eye for MBA insights and the seizing of the moment.

Why The Gulf of Mexico Should Rightfully Be Named The Gulf of Longsword | The MBA School of MBA Credentials During yesterday's weekly hot tub faculty meeting, while we were all vigorously debating international naming rights, I found myself moved to share my thoughts about this matter of the Gulf of Mexico's nomenclature. My good lady wife, who was on tea and biscuit duty poolside, made an observation. If...

At yesterday‘s tutorial on retail and consumer ethics, one student asked whether, in light of the current US presidential debate, retailers around the world who publish catalogues, should place sofas in a sealed section?

He also asked whether sofas should be placed at the back of a store, similar to where outlets like the old Blockbuster Video Stores used to house their adult video collection?

As it happens, our faculty is holding a Netflix and chill weekend, so I’ll let you know what comes of that, when it comes up.

Prof Longsword

Once you see this, you can’t unsee it. It’s drawn from a dream that Professor Longsword’s Good Lady Wife had about the new and our late Premier Don Dunstan. There a full story in our blog.

🌟 New Adelaide University Logo Subliminal Inspiration Revealed! 🌟

In a dream, Professor Longsword's Good Lady Wife claims she was visited by the spirit of former premier Don Dunstan, who unveiled the true inspiration behind Adelaide University's new logo.

According to the dream, the logo's design was influenced by the vibrant patterns of 1970s flared pants from iconic brands like Butterick, Simplicity, and Vogue. 🌈👖

Don Dunstan's spirit supposedly lamented the lost era of rich, raw on-campus debates from the '60s and '70s, saying he's been flooding the subconscious of co-vice chancellors with fashion images to bring back that lively spirit. It seems to have worked! 🎨

Read the full story to discover more about this whimsical revelation!

And then watch a new round of stories in InDaily and The Advertiser, along with commentary from the The University of Adelaide and the University of South Australia.

New Adelaide University Logo Subliminal Inspiration Revealed | The MBA School of MBA Credentials Discover the hidden, whimsical inspiration behind Adelaide University's new logo, revealed through a dream visit from the late Don Dunstan. Fashion meets academia!

Unless, as one of my cheeky students pointed out, you committed murder. That would be a life sentence.

My lecture studio full of students is keen to work out what the "businessman" is hiding under his hand circled in yellow?

Suggestions so far include:

- A hidden compartment where the late colleague has hidden whistleblower secrets on a USB stick

- The man is married and the photographer is highlighting that he had taken off his wedding band in the hope of "picking up" at the funeral

- His thumb has disappeared up into a little access hole through which one pallbearer tries to tickle the occupant as a last test they are actually dead

Do you have any better suggestions?

"Only 2% of Leaders possess this Secret Superpower!"
🎈

Did you know only 2% of leaders excel in balloon animal strategy?

Surprising, isn't it?

We often talk about the importance of analytical intelligence, strategic vision, and leadership charisma. But what about balloon animal artistry? It's a secret superpower that often goes unrecognised.

Balloon animal strategy, the ability to twist and shape balloons into various forms, plays an integral part in building strong, effective teams. It's not just about being fun, it's about creativity. It's about seeing possibilities in every twist and turn and acting accordingly. It's about imaginative intelligence and whimsical awareness.

Benefits?
Oh, there are plenty!

It fosters open communication.
It boosts team morale.
It aids in conflict resolution.
It encourages innovation.

So, how can you develop this superpower? Here are some actionable tips:

Practise active twisting.

Show genuine interest in your team's balloon ideas and concerns.

Be open to feedback.

Take time to understand your team's balloon animal preferences.

Do you believe balloon animal strategy is an under-appreciated leadership trait?

Let's get the conversation started!

Repost ♻️ if you find it useful.

Follow me, Professor Sebastian Longsword, for more leadership insights like these!

Lead differently! Beat yesterday! Be better balloon artists.

This is why all our students get an MBA School lock pick set on graduation day.

And it’s not just a run-of-the-mill set, this one opens office doors, safes, and, especially toilet cubicle doors (avoids many of those post business lunch predicaments that MBAs find themselves in).

Associate Professor Schmock originated this idea and he is affectionately acknowledged during the ceremony through a call and response.

Professor Longsword (holding the lock pick set): Lock
Graduate (holding out hand to receive it): Schmock

The Professor strikes again. This time, reflecting on a University of Oxford course that promises to explain to you the "AI's full potential".

Instead, the Professor just asked three different AI tools to give their opinions: Perplexity AI, OpenAI, and Google's Gemini.

Get learned fast!!

What Is AI's Full Potential? The Alternative To Oxford University's Course | The MBA School of MBA Credentials Explore Oxford's AI-Powered MBA Degrees: Flexibility, Efficiency, And Customisation For Modern Professionals. Transform Your Career With AI-Enhanced Learning.