Sharon Natoli

The quality of our life comes down to the quality of our conversations - particularly those we hold in our head about ourselves.

These conversations start early and have a huge impact on our ability to live life in an authentic self expressed way. 💃

I was reminded of this when I came across two contrasting photos of myself.

One as a 2-3 year old and one as a 5 year old.

The youngest version of myself looks stoic and confident while the latter shows me turning into the pretty, coy good girl that would be the basis of my inner narrative for decades.

Research shows at a very young age we work out ways to feel loved and accepted by moulding ourselves into what we think our primary caregivers want us to be.

In that process however we abandon our authentic selves. 🙈

The essence of who we are doesn’t change - it's just the nature of the conversation we have about who we believe ourselves to be.

If you feel you've 'lost' your authentic self, its not so much about 'finding ' yourself as it is about revealing who you were before those conversations started.

🌲If attending festive networking events brings up a bit of fear and concern about meeting new people, try swapping this out for presence.

Bringing the gift of presence is the easiest, most relaxed and effective way to create connection and stay focused on the conversation.

You got this! 🥳

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Welcome to another edition of the Weekly Phrase.🗣

This week's phrase is one that can help strengthen your voice by assisting you to feel grounded, heard and held. 💓

The phrase is:

“It's OK. I've got all the time in the world.”

This phrase is particularly powerful if you hear it from someone when you're trying to express something that's challenging or difficult. 🤗

When the person you’re with says “It's OK. I've got all the time in the world” you can relax and say what you want to say without feeling rushed or forced or having to express yourself perfectly.

What this phrase indicates is that they are really there for you, holding and creating space for you to take your time.

You may like to try it with others too when you're really wanting to provide support, listen with intent and be there for them.

If you feel uncomfortable speaking up and expressing yourself, it's normal to experience some kind of 'pain' connected with this. 😭

However not all pain is the same - one type can be expansive 🤸‍♀️ and the other, more constrictive. ➰️

�The first type of pain is what you experience when you actually speak — you may feel the fear of being wrong, rejected, or rocking the boat, but you move through this and use your voice anyway.🗣
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The second is the pain of not speaking — the regret that follows when you stay silent and walk away from a situation not having said what you wanted to.😢

One expands you. 🤗
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The other shuts you down.🫣

The pain of speaking up is like the pain experienced if you've ever given birth - it's a normal part of the process and as you work through it, you get a great reward at the end! 👼It’s uncomfortable, but it leads somewhere good.
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The pain of silence? That one keeps you small.

So the next time fear rises when you're wanting to speak and express yourself, consider:
👉 Which pain will you choose?