Cursed Bathrooms of Adelaide Uni

Just because you finish your degree, doesn’t mean you stop learning. Back for a special postgraduate post, upon fervent recommendation, your brave author voyaged to the heart of the arts, our own Napier building. Up the lift to the top floor- nay the penthouse- sat what was foreshadowed as one of the best urinations of my further studies. As I braved the shockingly dark corridor (whereby a phone flashlight was required to see), I emerged into an ethereal bathroom bathed in light from golden hour- known to the world after uni as “quitting time”. Here, your educated author was astonished to see a breathtaking view of the campus that gave us degrees, and potentially STIs, judging on some of these other toilets. The sights were astonishing, the toilets clean and unremarkable, and bonus points for paper towel composting. Whilst the toilet itself struggled to flush, this author couldn’t help but enjoy the tranquil breeze that fluttered in through the ajar window. Golden hour? No! Golden shower. What a sight! What a building! Have these arts students been hiding more from us plebeians in stem? All in all, a wonderful p**s. 10/10

MM

Snacks anyone??

NF

The level one Oliphant male bathroom is a land of understated oddities. Occupants will immediately notice the loudest slamming door in the uni, conveniently announcing your activities to the rest of the building. They will then be greeted by a urinal pull-chain cleverly modded with an unidentified electrical component (I’m too much of a theoretical physicist to know what it is!). Finally, this toilet is host to an ever-present bottle of kombucha. The bottle pictured is the *third* bottle in the last year to grace this windowsill.

The observant toilet-goer should not be dissuaded by the uncleanliness and general unpleasantness of this facility. For those who persevere, many subtle wonders lie in wait.

PG

🚽Dinner and a show ✨

Ever take a poo so bad you need a full body shower with a bottle of shampoo? The people in the basement of The Badger Building do.

This men's bathroom has a full evenings worth of entertainment in just one space! Whether you want to participate or just sit back and watch, there's something for everyone, even a wash.

JE

Upon first inspection, the women’s toilets on ground floor in Lower Napier are naught but an average ladies lavatory. However- once one commits their time and looks closer upon the last stall in this seemingly mundane water closet, they will find themselves immersed in a world of pun-related humour centered around the word grout. This author’s favourites include, but are not limited to, “Oscar the Grout”, “the Grout Wall of China”, and “Grout Expectations”. Should one want to relieve oneself surrounded by the wit of their peers, look no further than these facilities.

MM

The University of Adelaide is steeped in history, with rooms throughout that have been touched by greatness. None more so than the Oliphant stairwell men's bathroom. This bathroom really shows the desire to keep the universities connection with its history, with the p**s stains likely to be from the great Sir Mark Oliphant himself. How many great physicists of Adelaide have p**sed on this wall?? We will never know. It's got a nice view though.

NF

Not all who wander are lost- some of us wander and find the beauty of the Mawson ground floor women’s toilets. These toilets truely are an experience, raising many questions that ask not what but why. The sofa, the oddly placed locker, the graffitied poster helping the young women who experience confusion in these stalls find inner peace, and the selection of Ural sachets lest you experience acidic urine within these hallowed halls. Truely an experience for all.

MM

Ahh yes, the level 1, Barr Smith North bathrooms. The dark brown stains leading to these services tell a grim tale. The green of the tiles perfectly matches the dankness of the room. If you don't like using the bathroom alone, you're in luck here!! With plenty of spiders hanging around you'll never lay a lonely log again. I would be genuinely scared of anyone who has even thought about showering in this crusty pit.

NF