The School of Manners

The difference between being mean and being rude is that most of us never intend to be rude. Life happens, we get rushed, caught off guard, and our brain kicks into auto-pilot mode. We fall back into patterns we’ve seen for years, thinking they’re appropriate—until someone points out how they really feel, or we experience it ourselves or worse.

But wouldn’t it be better to learn from this page than from a painful real-life moment?

From diving into our meal before others are served to making unsolicited comments like, “You look tired” (when did that ever help?)—these small moments shape how we connect with each other.

This isn’t about perfection; it’s about awareness. If we can make even the smallest shift in how we show up, it can create a ripple of kindness and consideration that extends far beyond the table or conversation.

Take a moment, swipe through these, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll find a gentle reminder in here for yourself. I know I did…

Always be kind,
Andreea S.B.

Have you ever questioned the table manners you were taught?
So many “rules” about dining have been passed down, but how many truly make sense in today’s world? From the silent signals of cutlery to the ever-present “no elbows on the table” rule, we often follow them without understanding why.
The truth is, many of these myths are either outdated or misunderstood. And what’s proper in one culture might seem strange in another. Eating with your hands? Perfectly acceptable in so many places, and done with grace. Plate stacking in a fine restaurant? It’s more of a disaster than a help.
Etiquette is about respect—understanding the context, the culture, and the moment—not about rigid rules that don’t apply to every situation.
Today, I’m sharing 10 of the most common myths around table manners. Let’s rethink them together and focus on what really matters: connection, respect, and enjoying the experience.

Always be kind,
Andreea S.B.

Being polite is often mistaken for people-pleasing. We mask our insecurities and lack of assertiveness with being “nice.” But let’s be clear—being nice has nothing to do with people-pleasing or constantly needing to be “seen as nice.” There’s nothing wrong with saying NO. You can be kind, polite, and still set boundaries.
Kindness is a strength, a value that holds communities together. So why has there been such a push against being nice? I propose a different goal: Be nice with character. Stay true to your values.

Etiquette, when practiced authentically, creates human connection rooted in principles, not just appearances. There’s a huge difference between wanting to be seen as kind and actually being kind—without sacrificing yourself in the process.

As a recovering people-pleaser, I’ve learned true etiquette is grounded in three powerful principles: consideration, respect, and honesty. These allow us to honor our values while remaining thoughtful towards others. I seeked to learn this knowledge not out of people pleasing but because I was exhausted of not knowing what I stand for nor how to stand confident in any situation.
Manners aren’t about avoiding conflict. They’re about standing in your truth, communicating with kindness, and valuing yourself as much as you value others. True politeness doesn’t mean seeking approval—it means acting in alignment with your values.
Let’s redefine politeness. Let’s start by being kind to ourselves first. True connection begins when we no longer need others to validate our worth.

Always be kind (starting with yourself),
Andreea S.B.

For those who might have missed the launch yesterday on my stories, I wanted to officially share this free ebook with you! ✨
I’m so excited to introduce “The Right Words for Every Situation,” a collection of thoughtful, practical replies to help you navigate tricky conversations in dating, business, family, and everyday life. 📖💬
The ebook is a selection of sample questions and answers. I know that not all will feel appropriate for your individual circumstances, and that’s where emotional and social intelligence come into play. Knowing when to apply and how to use what we learn is key.
For that reason, I’m planning to follow up with a program that dives deeper into strategies and mindset—helping you become even more tactful and confident in your communication. 🎯✨
I want to share a little something personal with you: I’ve always been the type who learns best from seeing real examples. I admit, at times, I’ve been that person who listened in from afar, wishing I could be a fly on the wall—not to judge, but to learn. I wondered, How do people who always seem to know exactly what to say make it look so seamless?
I made it my life mission to decode the art of communication, to understand not just the words, but the gestures, the tone, the presence. And that’s why I’m so passionate about sharing this guide with you. ❤️
But this is just the beginning. I want to invite you to be a part of this project. Let’s make this ebook even better—share your own experiences, your questions, and situations you’d love to see covered. This will help me expand and improve the guide as well as program on Communication for Connection that I am developing, so it truly speaks to your needs. I want to meet you where you are and be there for you.

❗️❗️❗️❗️Comment “Ebook” follower by any awkward, challenging situations that you would like to hear a sample elegant answer to..in order to receive your free copy, and let’s master the art of graceful, confident conversation together.

Always be kind,
Andreea S.B.

Today, on Mental Health Awareness Day, I want to give a voice to those brave enough to share their experiences. I hope we all learn a bit more, become better humans, and remember that our manners impact the world we live in. Our choice of words can make the difference between someone choosing to live or die. Yes, in moments of darkness, manners can be a matter of life and death.

No force is more powerful than authentic human connection.—that feeling of being seen, of knowing you matter.

We need to stop pretending we don’t care like that is the ultimate sign of empowerment and strength. That thought alone, and the constant polarity dividing us into ‘us and them,’ is damaging. Yes, we do care! We are not meant to build connections through a shared hatred of others. I read somewhere while studying hypnosis that we are all hypnotized. We live each day under a trance we perceive as ‘normality, truth, reality.’ We say things like ‘Calm down,’ ‘You’re fine,’ or ‘Smile! Who died?’ without thinking, simply because we’ve seen others do it so often. We never pause, never have the awareness to snap out of our trance and wonder: ‘What am I saying? How are my words and manners affecting another human being?’
There is so much more I could say; I am deeply passionate about this subject. To me, manners are the very foundation that serves the purpose of maintaining good mental hygiene, raising awareness of our shared humanity, and understanding the way we impact one another.
One day, perhaps, I’ll have the strength to share my own struggles—one of the reasons I found it so difficult to be here, to return online.

But for today, I’ll leave you with this: always be kind; you never know what someone else is going through. It doesn’t matter who they are, where they are, or whether you like what they say or if they are famous—they are a human being, just like you and me.
If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. Unsolicited advice is so overrated and easy, listening is hard but that is what the world needs more of!

Andreea S.B.

The modern world is not always kind to self-esteem.
But as I watch my daughter grow, I realize two things are guaranteed:

1️⃣. No one enjoys being criticized, and neither does our nervous system—hers, mine, or anyone else’s. We are wired to perceive verbal attacks the same way as physical ones. Social pain and physical pain activate the same part of the brain. Did you know that?! There is no difference to the brain between a break up and breaking your leg.

2️⃣. Criticism is inevitable, and truth be told, it’s essential for growth. Did you know Kobe Bryant missed 14,481 shots in his career? He holds the record for the most missed shots in NBA history, yet he’s regarded as one of the greatest players of all time. ‼️ Remember that the next time you put yourself down for one missed “shot” in a social interaction.

Trying to be everyone’s cup of tea is a wasted effort. It’s a mission impossible!

What we can do, however, is recognize that not everything deserves a reaction from us. Our nervous system doesn’t need to pull out all its defense mechanisms for an invisible threat.

Perhaps (as painful as it feels in the moment) having someone nagging at you might also mean there is someone who passionately cares and is paying attention to you.

Having someone critique your work means your work is worth their attention.

And my favorite, as a musician friend once shared before I started this page: having a “hater” means you’ve made it. Your account is now good enough!

So, please remember this and don’t let your sense of self-worth crumble under the choice of words from others.

Nobody can push buttons we don’t give them access to. Be aware. Be graceful. Stay true to your values.

Always be kind,
Andreea S B

Why a Mug is My Secret Weapon ☕✨

Slide 5 lets you in on my secret as to why I always bring a warm drink with me when I record live trainings, webinars, or important meetings. It’s something I started during pandemic webinars, and it works like a charm. I even noticed one of my biggest mentors in etiquette doing the same during recordings, and I caught on quickly! Trust me , it makes a difference!

Another game-changer for me has been the research on warmth and connection. Fun (or not so fun for me) fact: I always have cold hands (thanks to poor circulation) and while I always joke around it because in Romania the belief of “Cold hands , warm hearts” goes further into believing that cold hands you can always trust….
But…I know the real science, so before a handshake that is very important, whenever I can, I discreetly warm my right hand on a mug to make a better connection. I started doing this back in my aviation days—just in case someone offered a handshake, giving me the subtle advantage of coming across as warm and approachable. Of course, that reflected my genuine nature, but making a great first impression helps set the tone for how the interaction will unfold, more than people often realize. It truly helps set the tone for a positive interaction.

Warmth isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, too. 💛

Always be kind,
Andreea S.B.

As we close the chapter on September, I thought is time for some reflection on our life and the good that is also out there in this world!
The quotes in this carousel, in case some might have figured it out, or hopefully some people even recognized themselves, or resonated with some of you.... Are stories from my own journey of life.
Unfiltered moments where, even in my hardest times, life sent me someone who helped, lifted, or carried me through.

It’s a reminder that even when everything feels overwhelming, there is still kindness in the world, and it often finds us when we least expect it.

One of my favorite stories (that some might know) is that known as “Footprints in the Sand.” In it, a man is invited to look back at his life and sees two sets of footprints in the sand along the way. When he asked why, God answered “ Because I was always by your side.” And as they continue, he notices that during his most difficult times, there’s only one set of footprints so he asks God why he abandoned him during the hard times. To which God replies, “Those were the times when I carried you.”

I have always found that story to be such a beautiful reminder—not just of faith, but of how the universe, God, or life, or whatever is the focus of your own faith, sends us the people we need when we can’t carry ourselves. Those were my toughest moments, and each time, someone stepped in, just like in that story.

I’m not here to speak about religion, but I do believe that faith can take many forms. It can be faith in humanity, in the goodness within people, and in the belief that even in the darkest moments, we are never truly alone. God, the universe—however you see it—speaks through people, through acts of kindness, and through the unexpected love that carries us when we feel we cannot go on.

As we head into October, I hope you can look back at your own life and see the moments when kindness found you, when someone carried you, even if you didn’t realize it at the time.
So here’s to the people who lift us up. Here’s to the kindness that finds us when we need it most & here’s to the belief that, even when the road feels heavy, we are never walking it alone. 💖

The handshake might have gone into a temporary lockdown, but it’s back—and it’s more important than ever.

Did you know?
Studies show that a simple handshake can build as much rapport, trust, and connection as a 3-hour face-to-face conversation! Think about that—a well-executed handshake can instantly boost your chances of being liked, trusted, and respected.

Research suggests that a handshake activates areas of the brain linked to social bonding and trust, creating an instant connection between two people. A firm handshake, held for about three seconds with two up-and-down movements, is ideal for building rapport without overstaying your welcome. (P.S. – If you missed my reel yesterday on properly greeting someone, now’s a good time to catch up! And yes, standing up when meeting someone is a must.)
The psychology behind it is fascinating: a good handshake can trigger the release of oxytocin, the “trust hormone,” making the other person feel more comfortable and engaged. But get it wrong—like lingering too long—and things can quickly get awkward.

Bonus tip: Keep your hands dry. If you’re holding a cold drink, wrap a napkin around it or keep a spare napkin handy to avoid offering a damp handshake. No one likes a soggy introduction!
Remember, a handshake is more than a greeting—it’s a symbol of connection, trust, and mutual respect. Done right, it can work wonders in professional and social settings alike.

Swipe for the most important handshake etiquette rules to ensure your next introduction leaves a lasting, positive impression.

Always be kind,
Andreea SB

What’s one thing you wish you had the courage to say more often?
Drop it in the comments so others can find the strength to say it too. 🤍
Know someone who could benefit from embracing these simple but profound phrases? Tag them. 📌
Follow for daily inspiration on leading with grace, confidence, and kindness. Let’s keep lifting each other up. 💫

I cannot begin to express the number of misconceptions around what it means to be polite or ladylike. So many view femininity, feminism, elegance, and etiquette in black-and-white terms. This kind of thinking is dangerous because it limits the beauty of diversity and the potential for true human connection.
We weren’t given access to the kind of education that empowers us to see that a confident woman isn’t a doormat. A lady is not meant to be seen but not heard. Etiquette isn’t about being passive; it stands on pillars of Honesty, Consideration, and Respect. Saying no is not impolite; it’s an act of self-respect. There’s a way to be authentic and considerate, all at once.
This black-and-white thinking—where everything becomes “us versus them”—breeds conflict in our interactions. “If you disagree with me, you must be wrong.” We need to let go of these burdens. True confidence and femininity lie in releasing the constant need to prove yourself.
There’s nothing to prove!
Say no. Ask for help. Admit you don’t know something. It doesn’t make you less—it makes you real. 💬✨

Always be kind,
Andreea Ștefănescu Brimmo

I believe that everyday, as soon as you open these platforms you are bombarded with individuals, brands, influencers fighting for your attention. So thank you for choosing to be here with me.

I don’t have a team working with me or for me and I needed to say that to me you’ve been and you continue to be my team!

I respect you and your time and I am grateful for you being here in this journey alongside me!

When I started this page, my goal was to create a space where etiquette wasn’t just about rules, but about making people feel valued, seen, and respected. Today, as we hit this milestone, I wanted to remind you in my own way that behind the screen is a human thanking you!

To celebrate 100K, I’d love to hear from YOU! Share with me in the comments—what’s one lesson or tip that has stuck with you and made a real difference in your life?

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for being here, for showing up, and for believing that kindness and good manners are still the greatest superpowers.

Always be kind,
Andreea Stefanescu

Today’s post is a continuation of our “etiquette led by people” series—voices that need to be heard, shared by those living these experiences every day. True empathy starts with listening and understanding, and that’s what this series is all about.
Disability etiquette isn’t about doing something to make us feel better—it’s about showing respect and consideration for the person in front of you. These real-life insights and experiences help us understand how our smallest actions can make the biggest impact.
Here are more key manners to keep in mind around disability etiquette:
1. “If you’re walking with me, try to match my pace. Rushing ahead or lagging behind, especially when I use a mobility aid, can make me feel left behind.”
2. “Don’t speak over me or assume someone else needs to answer for me. Give me the time and space to express myself.”
3. “Everyday tasks are just that—everyday. Complimenting me for living my life can feel patronizing.”
4. “If I say no to help, respect that. Sometimes doing things on my own is empowering.”
5. “When guiding someone who is blind, let us hold your arm—it gives us more control and comfort.”
6. “Don’t move things around in my space without telling me. Even small changes can throw off my ability to navigate.”
7. “Introduce yourself and say my name when speaking to me, especially in a group. It helps me know you’re addressing me directly.”
8. “If you’re planning something, consider accessibility from the start. Don’t just apologize if it isn’t accessible—suggest a solution we can all enjoy.”
9. “Respect public spaces: hold the elevator, avoid parking in handicapped spots, and leave the motorized carts in stores for those who need them.”
Disability etiquette is about more than formality—it’s about kindness, consideration, and making space for everyone to feel seen and valued. Thank you to all who shared these insights and for making our world a more thoughtful place, one manner at a time.
I’d love to hear more suggestions for future posts, so feel free to share your thoughts in the comments! 💫
Always be kind,
Andreea S.B.