10/08/2022
Tell your friend that absolutely, s*x is everything in a marriage…
Hi, my name is Timothy Kieswetter and I am a s*x therapist. For the last 12 years, I have dedicated my career to understanding s*xual behaviour, motivation and desires. In other words, mapping out the s*x code that drives all of us.
The biggest problem we have when trying to understand s*xual behaviour, is that we believe all men are alike, all women want the same thing, all straight men look like this and gay men talk like that. This stereotype bias is our way of simplifying complex situations. When there is no hard and fast rule to why people do what they do. To expect a certain behaviour simply because the person is male, is elementary. So stop trying to figure out why your fiancé doesn’t want to have s*x, we have too little evidence to diagnose the problem. The question you should rather ask yourself is: “Is s*x important to me? Do I want a marriage filled with a healthy, vibrant and active s*x life?”
If yes, then you can take this as a “term and condition” to your fiancé.
Welcome to The S*x Code page, where we will have an open and honest conversation about s*x and everything that goes with that. We will decipher the s*x code, so that we can make better informed decisions in our love lives.
Okay, back to your friend asking if they should marry someone that obviously has a way lower s*x drive than them.
It is very common to marry someone that is on the opposite side of the libido spectrum than yourself. There will always be someone that’s hornier that the other. But for the most part, this will balance out and both will have an okay s*x life.
However, when your partner doesn’t just have a low libido, but a blocked libido, something is wrong and the chances that you will find an equilibrium is very low.
How can I know that your fiancé is suffering from a blocked libido and not just a low libido? It’s that you are already begging for s*x. You are supposed to be in your honeymoon phase. Even for low libido persons, this is a heightened stage of arousal. This means that something is blocking his libido flow towards you.
This diagnosis gives hope and spells doom at the same time.
Hope; because anything blocked can be unblocked with the right therapy. And if you already answered the question to yourself, that s*x is an important part in your life, you will be willing to fight for it, drag him to a s*x therapist, throw your toys out of the cot to get his attention. This matters, and you may demand him to address this libido block.
Doom; if he refuses. If the block is too big for him to address, or if it turns out that the block is something that would cause the marriage to fail in any case down the line.
When there is a warning light in the beginning of your life together, it is time to aggressively address it in therapy so that you can decipher your relationships s*x code, as quick as possible.
Good luck.
