20/10/2021
You will never know how capable you are until you’ve walked through fire 🔥.
Today I went for my EEG. For those of you who don’t know:
An EEG is a test that detects abnormalities in your brain waves, or in the electrical activity of your brain. During the procedure, electrodes consisting of small metal discs with thin wires are pasted onto your scalp. The electrodes detect tiny electrical charges that result from the activity of your brain cells.
I must say, brain 🧠 stuff is quite intense… I should be getting the results in a couple of days and it feels like a double edged sword. No one wants a test to show up abnormalities…. But if it doesn’t, then we are back to the drawing board. Then what? Because if you keep poking and prodding, eventually you’ll find something…
But honesty , I’m just so grateful that I am in a position to be able to do all these tests even though it’s been fokken scary (excuse the language).
I wanted to post both these pictures of today, because I believe we have the right feel an array of different emotions in one day. You don’t have to be stuck in stress and unhappiness, but you also to have to be sunshine and roses 24/7. Things change and we can change with it.
The second picture was after the EEG. I went for a walk to shift my anxiety and just got caught in the rays of sun ☀️ that provided the positive energy needed to move out of my negative thought loops. Retraining the neural plasticity of the brain is conscious and constant work. We have to take responsibility. It’s about catching yourself in those moments and making the change as soon and as often as possible.
I’m also exploring how my actions and decisions of my past have brought me to this moment and I have had to forgive myself for a lot, as well as let go through many birth-death-birth moments (if you’ve read ).
All in all, I think what I’ve learnt most, is to see the bigger picture, not be so serious all the time and stand strong in my truth.
19/10/2021
15/04/2021