Tools for Having The Talks - with Casey Blake

Tomorrow morning, I'll be on 702 talk radio, talking about s*x for women after 50.

If you are one of those women, and would like to help me make this discussion richer... I'd really appreciate it if you share your own findings and experiences, good, bad, and neutral...

Lived experiences are so important to add to the discussions!

Feel free to respond privately by sending me a message!

Day 2 at the *xualhealthassociation 2024 Congress!

Having a great time at the *xualhealthassociation 2024 Congress, geeking out with other s*x nerds.
Today we have covered interstitial cystitis and female s*xual dysfunction, s*xual activity at an older age, queering palliative care in Africa, the contemporary use of hormones, desire discrepancy, and as*xualities.

With a fantastic session with Dr Esther Sapire, a true revolutionary in s*xuality education and s*xual medicine since the late 1950s.

*xualhealth
I'd love to attend next year to continue the s*x geekery 🤓

At the *xualhealthassociation 2024 congress.
The programme is jam packed with amazing s*x-nerding out!

I'd love to go to the *xualhealth conference!!

When you were a child, what do you remember about the "rules" for who could engage with your body?

Were you told that your body is your own private body, and no one can touch it?

Were you often made to hug and kiss people while greeting them?

Have you had your hand or arm pulled to walk next to someone?

Do you see how these actions carry mixed messages, making understanding consent unclear and difficult?

When is it your body to have autonomy over, and when is it not?

How did this impact your intimate relationships as a young adult? Maybe even now?

My workshops unpack how to recognise when this is happening with your children, and ways to speak about it to them:
How do they make sense of this?
What does this mean about the importance of their comfort levels?
How can you help them navigate situations that make them uncomfortable?

https://caseyblake.co.za/


*xeducation

Aside from the research-based international guidelines freely available from the United Nations...

If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough for an honest, accurate answer.
Here are some things to be curious about with them, as you navigate age appropriateness:

1. What have they heard about the thing they are asking about?
2. What do they think it could mean? (Make it clear that this is because you are genuinely curious about their thoughts. Not because you are trying to catch them out somewhere)
3. Based on their current level of understanding, fill in the gaps with accurate information.
Not sure what that accurate information might be?
Of course my online course and live workshops cover this!
You can also look at the guidelines mentioned above.
And has fantastic videos with accurate information for you to watch with your kids!

https://caseyblake.co.za/


*xeducation

How do you understand these concepts?
How have you communicated this to your kids?

https://caseyblake.co.za/


*xeducation

I often re-iterate that effective s/x education conversations do not start with talking about seggs. Heart-to-heart talks with your kids start around topics such as boundaries, relationships & consent, among others, to lay solid foundations for real talk. For seggs conversations to make sense, a context needs to be created by these foundational conversations and understandings.

https://caseyblake.co.za/


*xeducation

Pinching, kissing & touching without giving children an option to say no.

Parents don't always consider the importance of the boundaries their children communicate to them. Forcing 'simple' things like hugging or kissing an adult hello when a child clearly doesn't want to or pushing your child to give someone 'a simple hug' is problematic? What's the problem here you may ask: Forcing someone to do something against their will creates confusion around boundaries later on in life. I spoke about boundaries and more with the wonderful Candice Langford , Pelvic physiotherapist.

https://caseyblake.co.za/


*xeducation

On Monday I had the opportunity to speak with the students at African Leadership Academy about healthy relationships.
It's been a privilege to speak with these students nearly every year since before COVID!