Chartered lnstitute of Bereavement Management - CIMB

Chartered lnstitute of Bereavement Management - CIMB

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Chartered lnstitute of Bereavement Management focusses on funeral industry Specialised Certifications, Consulting and lndustry Awards and Employment Agency

07/03/2021

Funeral industry, we love you! Register for this Seminar. Chartered Institute of Bereavement Management (CIMB)!

05/11/2020

"December 31 does not mean the death of your problems and neither does 1 January imply an amnesty to your invidious predicament. You need a correct strategy for your circumstances. " EXPLOITS DNA Page 84". To order your copy, inbox +263772693404!

17/10/2020

ABORTION IS VERY EASY

The young exquisite looking student nurses gathered in the Auditorium at the Genesis Maternity Clinic in Johannesburg. The Clinical Director, Dr Zweli, had announced a Knowledge Exchange Programme with Africa's Leading Coach.

Contrary to tradition, this session had no title saved to say "MEET THE GRANDMASTER." As they all sat expectantly, 92 year old Retired Coaching General, Grandpa Dr CRM walked to the Podium, accompanied by Dr Zweli & his hectic coloured grandchild, Russell also known as "Mukedha", who was carrying Grandpa's lapel.

Dr Zweli ushered Grandpa Dr CRM to the left podium with 3 flags, Africa Union Flag, South African Flag & the CRM Flag. Mukedha stands by Grandpa's side, holding an iPad and connecting Grandpa's presentation via Blue tooth.

To the amazement of everyone, the session title is screened on big white board of the massive auditorium. It read;

*HOW TO CONDUCT AN ABORTION*

There was deafening silence in the auditorium. You could hear someone breathe. Dr Zweli took the cordless microphone and stood by Grandpa's side as he made his remarks.

"A refreshing morning to you all. Welcome to our Knowledge Exchange Programme where we intentionally harvest wisdom from the best of best across the globe. Today l am excited to present to you a legend who rocked the World with his radical and inspirational ideas. A nation builder of repute. I chartered a helicopter last week to his retirement home in Nyangani Park in Zimbabwe to sweet talk him out of retirement, to talk to us. Initially he said no. He said 'Dr Zweli, why can't you bring your students here? Can't you see l am peacefully retired?. Why are you troubling my soul?'

There was laughter in the house. Dr Zweli continued. After 2hours of persuading him, he then said he would come on two conditions, that, he would only speak for ten minutes and that we should pay an air ticket for his eleven year old grandchild, Russell, the young man standing on his right."

Russell starts doing somersault and some martial arts moves on the stage. The whole auditorium comes alive. Dr Zweli continues. "Allow me ladies and gentleman to introduce the Legend, Grandmaster Dr Grandpa CRM to address us. You may have your ten minutes Sir."

Grandpa CRM raises his gold coated stick, a momento that was given to him by the President of Venezuela after doing a Strategic Plan and Transformation Programme for that country. The whole podium rises, clapping hands.

And Dr Grandpa CRM starts. "I have nine minutes to go". The whole stadium bursts into laughter.

And he continues; "Once upon a time, l was a young man and l thought that l had the time. I don't even remember how turned 90. It was just so fast. In my journey to date, l have witnessed birth but l have also witnessed death. Today l want to share with you how to kill fast and with precision. My topic is *HOW TO CONDUCT AN ABORTION.* Pane anondinzwa here pano? Do l have a witness in the house?

" Yes!" The entire auditorium thundered. Dr Grandpa CRM continued. "Before l talk about abortion, let me first address life first. I wish talk about CBNW. This stands for Conception, Birth, Nursing & Weaning".

"Ask your mother, the day you were conceived, there were punctuations and yells of excitement. Even your father will testify to this." There is a burst of laughter in the auditorium.

Grandpa CRM continues. "But conception is immediately followed by pregnancy which usually is the opposite of conception. The culmination of pregnancy are the labour pains in the maternity ward. It may result in a mini death and stitches in the dreaded C- Section. You have seen these here at Genesis Maternity Clinic. Immediately after labour pains, there is new immeasurable joy of holding a new born baby. The baby must be nursed. This is a job and half. Around 18months or so, the baby is weaned off and another cycle begins. This is the journey of life in a career, family, as an entrepreneur, as Church or Government Minister etc. We all experience CBNW. Pane vanhu here pano? Do l have a witness in the house?

"Yes!"The entire auditorium roars. Grandpa CRM continues. Russell grabs his microphone and says "Grandpa can l do my poem now?" The whole auditorium bursts into laughter.

"Gara pasi iwe Mukedha. Sorry about that my children. I don't know the problem with these later day children. Anyway let me continue."One of the ushers tries to signal Russell to come and take a seat. He shrugs his shoulders and ignores.

Grandpa continues. "I have three minutes left. The best thing ever to happen to humanity is conception. Everyone has the power to conceive. Conception is not just procreation. You can conceive a business idea. But you must carry the pregnancy. There are pains that are associated with starting a business, a family, a ministry or a government. Pain will not go away but you need correct people around your pain.

You need a certain type of man to conceive a baby with. There are young beautiful ladies in the house can shout Amen!
" Amen" the ladies answered back. Grandpa continues.

"You can't be conceiving with every Tom and Dick. The are people today with permanent scars because they were not judicious with conception. Ukatanga company nemabhinya unobhinywa. Equally, its not every hospital that you need to give birth in. There is a type of a midwife that can facilitate your abortion in stead of assisting you to giving birth. In life, don't trust everyone with your ideas. The best way to abort a dream is to announce it to some folks."

The whole auditorium stands up clapping hands. Grandpa CRM continues. "I have one minute to go, let me finish. Remember my topic is how to conduct an abortion. The best way to abort a dream is having wrong people at the four stages, Conception, Pregnancy & Birth, Nursing & Weaning off. Every stage has it's demands which require a certain calibre of people. There are people who may have been good when you started a company but may not be the best for where it ought to go. There is an Uncle that you should never take to Amalobolo (kundoroora). Your party will be spoiled. There is an Aunt who must not know your boyfriend until they receive a wedding card. Don't be married to nolstagia. You need correct people everyday otherwise abortion is easy. My time is up. May God bless you all. I leave this time to Russell and his poem.

The whole auditorium gives Dr Grandpa CRM a standing ovation as little Russel somersaults to the middle of the podium. Everyone bursts into laughter.

The Writer, Coach Request Machimbira is the Author of best selling Entrepreneurship & Success Book - EXPLOITS DNA, Strategy Grandmaster, HR Consultant & Wellness Ambassador. For Engagements, contact him on +263772693404 or Email [email protected]

13/10/2020

Even plants are pruned for their growth. Can somebody shout "Challenge Accepted!"

09/10/2020

Which report do you believe?

08/10/2020

SANITISE YOUR BOARD
You are as clear as the clarity within your Board. Their efficiency & effectiveness sets the tone for the entire organisation. Let's enhance your Board of Directors. For In-House Board Effectiveness Training, contact Proficiency Consulting Group International on +263772693404 or Email proficiencyconsulting@gmail

13/09/2020

Even the BIG Coaches subscribe to continuous development. Captured with the leading Coaches in Zimbabwe, Coach Taf (Africa's Coaching Genius) & Coach Hove after investing in EXPLOITS DNA. For your diverse Coaching requirements, contact Coach Taf on 0772902108 and Coach Stanley on +27606277001.

You can simplify your life. Order your copies from Proficiency Publishers: +263772693404 or Email [email protected]

DNA for every office!

12/09/2020

Big Brands will always create an excuse to invest in their People. Medlive Marketing invests 8 copies for their Team. For your Medical Equipment & Supplies, visit the leaders, Medlive Marketing at no 68 Lomagundi Road, Harare. EXPLOITS DNA for every office. Order your copy from Proficiency Publishers +263772693404 or Email: [email protected]

07/09/2020

"Spain won the World Cup using their Tika Taka Signature. Jesus Christ used the Discipleship Signature and the Christian movement is alive to date. It has crossed all borders and you find it in Florida, Honolulu, Ndola, Lalapanzi, Uzumba Maramba Pfungwe, Uswaushava and Matandamaviri in Zimbabwe. What is your Signature? Develop a Signature and protect your Password!" Page 135, Chapter 29, EXPLOITS DNA.*

Order copies for your Executives, Managers, Supervisors, etc. For an Invoice, Email [email protected] or Phone 0772693404, Proficiency Publishers!

28/08/2020

Leading Brands sharpen their staff. A big thank you to Penanel Trading for investing in EXPLOITS DNA for its staff. Thumbs up to visionary Boss Mr Fortune Chikamhi. For your Advertising, Road infrastructure, civil works & logistics, visit Penanel Trading at no 22 Edison Crescent, Graniteside. To order EXPLOITS DNA, inbox +263772693404!

Photos from Chartered lnstitute of Bereavement Management - CIMB's post 24/08/2020

TOP BRANDS invest in & create a Leadership leverage. Vineyard Funeral Assurance buys 8 copies of EXPLOITS DNA for its Senior Managers. Vineyard Funeral is a Leading & most innovative Funeral Assurance & Services Company Headquartered in Harare. Invest a Minimum 8 copies & be part of this LEADERSHIP EXPLOITS MENTORSHIP BOOK. To order copies, Phone Proficiency Publishers on +263772693404. Email [email protected]

22/08/2020

Advocate Arthur Marara says "EXPLOITS DNA is a Total Prescription". He is speaking tonight at the Book Launch,7pm. See Log-in details on below. Order your copies (+263772693404 or Email proficiency@consulting@gmail.com). Welcome to an Exploits Lifestyle!

ZOOM BOOK LAUNCH INVITATION
Meeting ID: 77904088253
PassCode: 3xupDu
Time: 7pm, Sat 22 Aug

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