Hania Gorski - The Relationship School

19/09/2024

If you want a great relationship, master this simple yet powerful skill that can transform your interactions and deepen your connection with your partner.

The acknowledgement.

Are you curious about acknowledgement?

It might be as simple as saying, “I understand” or “I hear you” in a warm tone.

For instance, imagine your partner is frustrated because you're home late. Instead of dismissing their feelings, you can acknowledge their disappointment, saying, “I see you’re pretty disappointed. I’m sorry. I was…”

Or, when you both disagree, " OK, I see that we disagree right now. Let’s keep talking to understand this better.”

And like this - “ I feel really frustrated right now; I don’t want to talk until I cool down a bit.”

It is pretty uncomplicated, yet not used often in relationships.

Why?

We often let our emotions drive our interactions and relationships. This can quickly lead to reactivity; from there, it's a short path to arguments and conflicts.

PS Sign up for our newsletter and get tips on happy relationships, you won't find anywhere else: https://www.haniagorski.com/

04/09/2024

How do you build happy relationships? Reactive vs Responsive Style

Do you know what the psychological meaning of reactivity is?
And what are the significant differences between reacting and responding?

What does that mean for our relationships?

Reactivity in relationships can create many issues, taking us by surprise.
Let's uncover more of this experience.

The reaction is something very fast, often counted in milliseconds.
It is felt in our bodies, often shown in our facial expressions, and when we react, we talk pretty fast, even interrupting each other.
There are also “silent” forms of reaction, which can sometimes feel like a freezing moment, feeling lost or overwhelmed. These are also very fast reactions in our bodies.

The response is less automatic and more thoughtful than the reaction. It can take a few seconds, but it will be more adequate to many elements of the situation.
It requires using awareness, perspective, and knowledge from previous experiences.

Let’s examine these words: the reaction is a re-action, a fast movement in the body and mind, usually hard to control, often instinctive and automatic in nature.
It’s like a fast track to protect ourselves in the environment, requiring quick actions and bypassing deeper thinking.
It’s excellent brain equipment if we need to run from danger or if we’d like to follow pleasure.
We have some built-in instinctive reactions, but when it comes to interactions with other people, we learn our reactions from others pretty much from the moment we are born.

The word response is very interesting. It comes from the meaning of ‘something offered in return’, like giving a thoughtful answer.
This word is also close to the word responsibility, which is nothing less than response-ability.

Reactivity is the main culprit in relationships going bad.
I think it’s pretty obvious.

PS If you think that you and your partner might be reactive, join our newsletter to learn more on how to manage so by clicking here:
https://www.haniagorski.com/

08/08/2024

If you ever asked yourself - how can I be a better partner? - congratulations!

That’s a big step toward creating the relationship of your dreams and aspirations, one that has the potential for growth and improvement.

The exceptional value of looking at yourself and asking this question lies in taking charge of your life.
Looking at yourself and your relationship from the perspective of “What’s up to me? What can I do?” is the ultimate question in pursuing essential goals in life.

To get there, you need to know yourself well enough and be able to acknowledge what you don’t do well in relationships.

The steps are pretty challenging, but the outcomes of the process are amazing!
The sense of knowing yourself, confidence, and a clear vision—to mention a few benefits—create an enormous boost in the quality of life.

If you’d like to read more about it and find some remedies,
sign up for my newsletter to receive regular tips about romantic relationships - www.haniagorski.com

29/07/2024

2 days left to get 20% on our August 13th at 7:00pm MasterClass

Use promo code "HANIA20" at checkout to snag a fantastic 20% discount on your purchase.

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We've all faced challenges in our relationships, whether romantic, family, friendships, or professional. Random difficulties are normal, arising from differing viewpoints and needs. Often, we can clarify these, address the issues, find solutions, or learn to accept them and move on.

While occasional misunderstandings due to our differences are normal, some relationships become characterized by ongoing difficulties.

In these situations, it feels like you're having the same argument on repeat, and despite a nagging sense of something being wrong, the root cause remains elusive.

You might feel overwhelmed, drained or tense - during and after these interactions.

You might try to avoid these people or feel constantly frustrated or angry with them. Sometimes even anxious.

If that sounds familiar, join Hania Gorski, the expert in the science and practice of relationships, to learn how to navigate challenging relationships and build a positive support system.

https://events.humanitix.com/how-to-deal-with-toxic-people-and-protect-yourself-or-webinar?fbclid=IwY2xjawEURxpleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHaA2OBkqToEskrRWgTsFR9jMkvFXfVSGXQigMGkpOAeoNbaasL7A7XnUtg_aem_mmyvcYXp16C2Z0yfKAko-Q

A MasterClass: How to Deal with Toxic Behaviours: Red Flags & Tools

25/07/2024

I'm very excited to invite you to join my August Online MasterClass 👉
How to Deal with Toxic Behaviours: Red Flags & Tools

Do you ever feel exhausted or emotionally depleted after interacting with certain people?

You're not alone.

Are there individuals in your life who seem to create issues constantly? Like putting others down, gossiping, or manipulating situations - to mention a few?

Toxic people can be incredibly damaging to our mental, physical and emotional health.

This masterclass is for anyone who wants to create a more positive and supportive environment for themselves, personally and professionally.

In the 75-minute webinar, we'll explore the different types of toxic behaviours and their impact on your mental and emotional health.

More importantly, we'll delve into powerful strategies to protect yourself and build more resilience.

We'll explore:
* Identifying Toxic Behaviors: Recognise the red flags that indicate someone might be draining your energy.
* Setting Healthy Boundaries: Discover strategies to protect yourself emotionally.
* Communicating Effectively: Develop better communication techniques to navigate difficult conversations.
* Prioritising Self-Care: Learn how to prioritise your mental health and build emotional resilience.

If you can't attend live, don't worry! A recording will be available for 7 days.

More information & tickets:

https://events.humanitix.com/how-to-deal-with-toxic-people-and-protect-yourself-or-webinar

PS Use the promo code "HANIA20" at checkout to snag a fantastic 20% discount on your purchase. But hurry, this offer ends on July 31th.

A MasterClass: How to Deal with Toxic Behaviours: Red Flags & Tools

22/07/2024

Are you recovering after a breakup?

It's crucial to allow yourself time and space to heal, find closure, and move forward. It's okay to grieve and tend to your broken heart for a while. It's a normal part of the healing process, and giving yourself permission to feel and heal is important. Breakups can be painful, regardless of who initiated them.
By opening ourselves up to love, we accept the risk of getting hurt...
So, what do we need to heal the breakup?
We need time, space, good souls around, good food, and physical movement. Yes, physical movement is incredibly beneficial, from walking to dancing (or even just swaying when we stay present to our feelings) to yoga and other physical modalities.

Therapy may also be a perfect place to process the hurt, but it’s not only about that. Therapy serves as a unique space to gain a deeper understanding of the breakup. It allows us to explore what happened, what went wrong, what mistakes were made on both sides and what valuable lessons we can learn from the experience.

In a good therapeutic process, we can see ourselves more clearly and connect better with our True Self (or whatever is the name for the sense of being who you are).
A therapist can also help validate the past and understand what possibly went wrong on the other side of the equation—our partner’s attitudes and behaviours. This understanding can provide a more comprehensive view of the breakup and offer more learning about yourself.

Research suggests that it can take at least 6 months to process an emotional breakup and move on in life without dragging with it the old unfinished business from the previous relationship. However, the healing process can take much longer for some people, and that's perfectly okay.

If you’d like to read more about it and find some remedies,
sign up for my newsletter to receive regular tips about romantic relationships - www.haniagorski.com

21/07/2024

There are many ways your insecurity could manifest in relationships; let’s examine one of the symptoms...

One typical insecurity question is: “Do you love me?”

Would this question come up in your conversations with your romantic partner (or perhaps only would pop up in your head without saying it aloud)?

If your answer is “yes” - are you aware of what you actually communicate to your partner (or yourself)?

The number one communication is
“I question your feelings and our bond.” Perhaps even: “I don’t trust that you love me.”

The number two communication is
“I’m insecure”. Maybe even: “I’m not confident that I’m loveable”.

In other words, you send a message that you lack confidence and are insecure.

One of the most significant issues in romantic relationships is a sense of emotional insecurity...

If you’d like to read more about it and find some remedies,
sign up for my newsletter to receive regular tips about romantic relationships - www.haniagorski.com

10/07/2024

If you have a great relationship with yourself - your relationships with others will be great as well!

PS You can subscribe to my school’s newsletter:
https://www.haniagorski.com/

03/07/2024

The science and practice of relationships tell us that resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks, is one of the most sought-after qualities in a committed relationship.

Imagine having such a solid relationship that can withstand life challenges.
No relationship can go along without hitting some obstacles, so it’s good to be ready to deal with them.

Contrary to popular belief, obstacles are not detrimental to relationships.
In fact, they can be beneficial, creating opportunities for growth and strengthening your bond.
When you go through some life storms together, these experiences will build stronger muscles in relationships, like good workouts put some strain on the body to make it stronger!

Working with couples daily, I have noticed that many essential elements are needed to develop a solid, resilient relationship.
However, the three elements seem to be at the top of making - or breaking - committed relationships.
No 1: Good communication
No 2: Respect
No 3: Time and attention

Someone might ask - why are these elements the most important?
What about romantic vibes, great s*x, and going out together? Aren’t they most “making the relationship great”?

Well, the answer is layered in deeper human needs - as the science and practice of working with couples define the fundamentals of lasting relationships.

If you’d like to read more on how to foster healthier, happier relationships - join our newsletter: https://www.haniagorski.com/

27/05/2024