明心媽媽 ~ Ming's Motherhood

愛💖

我一個陌生人都看得很開心～

寫得太好了

如果，有人早點跟我說就好了……當了12年全職媽媽後重回職場，我所學會的事｜丘美珍／心家書｜獨立評論 成為全職媽媽，意味著我沒有主動收入，沒有雇主給的退休金。我所有的現金，都是別人給的，而且常常是左手進，右手出，全部花在家人身上。而且，當小孩長大成人，每天都有新故事發生。守在家裡的我，慢慢變成一個沒有...

Hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Because the baby’s being taken care of—⁣⁣
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—⁣⁣
by not only the mother,⁣⁣
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
But the mother,⁣⁣
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,⁣⁣
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,⁣⁣
may feel more like a mess than a mother,⁣⁣
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,⁣⁣
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"⁣⁣
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So, hold the mother, not the baby.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
A mother agrees that her baby matters more.⁣⁣
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,⁣⁣
in the background, making it all happen:⁣⁣
feeding her baby at all hours,⁣⁣
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,⁣⁣
and being that baby’s everything.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
And a mother will remember who held her up.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”⁣⁣
try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”⁣⁣
⁣
Because the mother needs to be held more.⁣⁣
⁣
📸:

....................................................⁣⁣
My Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc

Because a mother never sleeps . . .

I rest until I hear you,
The slightest movement next to me.
A cry from the crib,
A whimper in your bedroom down the hall.

I wake at the littlest of noises,
My body never fully at rest.
I am there the minute you need me,
No matter the time.

Because a mother never sleeps . . .

In my arms you will rest,
Next to me you might lay,
In your bed I might crawl,
On your floor for a night I will stay.

Feedings through the night,
Crying I just can’t figure out why.
Rocking and holding and rocking some more,
So weary, but I give you my everything.

Because a mother never sleeps . . .

I constantly check in on you,
Because that’s the thing mothers do.
I worry and wonder and linger and stare,
Because that’s just how much I love you.

I watch you sleep so peacefully,
Then my heart is truly content.
As I look at this beautiful tiny person I made,
Each breath you take is my happiness.

Because a mother never sleeps . . .

Every rock, every cuddle,
Every cradle and every kiss.
You have completed me beyond words,
And sleep is something I can surely miss.

So I will take all the restless nights,
And every exhausted morning.
Because you are the reason I am a mother,
And there no greater joy than that.

Shared with permission from New Adventures in Motherhood
Artwork: O Trocatintas

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now! https://amzn.to/3TeiZWB

全職媽是世界上最慘的職業？過來人嘆：媽媽的價值要自己賦予，學著放過自己超重要！ | PopDaily 波波黛莉 身為全職媽媽，那些生活中的辛酸誰看得到？Youtuber理科太太邀請同是Youtuber的陳彥婷來頻道中大談媽媽經。彥婷分享自己在當全職媽媽時，一整在家裡只有自己跟孩子四眼相對，每天看著鏡子裡的自己蓬頭垢面、素顏疲倦，漸.....

大家可能都有注意到生兒育女與教養孩子時，人們下意識將很多責任都壓在女性身上，而原因可能僅是一句——你是媽媽啊。

人們總有種錯覺，好像女性生來就知道如何做母親。彷彿，她們是某種統一設定好的程式。不需要跟孩子培養感情，就為孩子付出一切；不用學習成為母親，就能好好照顧孩子。只要標上母愛二字，母親似乎就應該無所不能，奉獻一切。

但是，母親也只是一個普通人。

如心理學家Shari L. Thurer所寫：「當今我們對母親這個身份有一個迷思，而那是違反常識的。擔任一個母親的風險變得前所未有地高——因為要為孩子的心理健康負上全責。成為母親，這項任務也從未如此艱難、勞動密集、微妙與不清不楚。」

不知道兼負母親這項任務的你，又有沒有同樣的感覺呢？

摘自 “Maternal Theory: Essential Readings, The 2nd Edition” 的第十四章 “The Myths of Motherhood” | 章節作者：Shari L. Thurer | 編輯：Andrea O’Reilly | 出版社：Demeter Press

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=603302998026165&id=100050394103849&fs=e&s=TIeQ9V

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