Dr. Kelly Cagle

Here are 4 systems that helped me most:

1️⃣ Externalize everything.
Calendars. Whiteboards. Sticky notes. Phone reminders. Meals. 

2️⃣ Build rhythms instead of chasing perfection.
10 years ago, I read a book by Shauna Neiquest called Present Over Perfect, and it completely shifted my expectations of myself. 

3️⃣Give yourself more margin than you think you need.
5 extra minutes before you have to leave, a hot shower by yourself, a mid-afternoon walk.

4️⃣ Have a set bedtime and wake-up time.
Structure will help you get things done. Relying on your motivation, you won’t get very far. 

Tiny systems beat willpower every single time because your brain prefers highly engaging, dopamine-filled things. 

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent; neither will you have a perfect child.

They need a parent who’s willing to learn, grow, apologize when necessary, and build a home where everyone’s brain is supported.

Comment COURSE, and I’ll send you a link to create a home environment full of support for the ADHD brain.

Hi 👋🏽 I’m Dr. Kelly Cagle! I had a PhD, an ADHD diagnosis, and I’m the mom of an ADHDer.

So everything you get here is centered around years of research I’ve conducted to help my son flourish and my home run more smoothly with my own hiccups as an ADHDer.

Here are 6 strategies that we are currently prioritizing in his teen years (he’s 15):

1. Build routines instead of relying on memory.
He’s going to get overwhelmed or forget otherwise.

2. Coach instead of constantly correct.
Find a mentor or a coach, if how you’re coaching isn’t working.

3. Reduce distractions.
Whatever doesn’t positively serve him, get rid of it.

4. Prioritize sleep, movement, and connection.
These can be so hard for them, but create a routine around it as they’ll make a huge, huge difference.

5. Stay calm when emotions run high.
Your nervous system helps regulate theirs. If you’re heated, they’ll match your energy. Regulate yourself first.

The teen years don’t have to be constant battles. And if you’re exhausted (I’ve definitely had my fair share of these times too), keep showing up and pouring out unconditional love.

The seeds you plant now can become deep, healthy roots!

🧠Follow for more encouragement and science-backed parenting tools🤍

*source: Regulating the Teenage Mind; November 12, 2014
Harvard Graduate School of Education.

Having ADHD doesn’t mean you need to try harder. Sometimes, you need better boundaries 🤷🏻‍♀️

In this week’s episode of Parenting IQ, I’m sharing **5 boundaries you need if you have ADHD**—and why the right boundaries can help protect your time, attention, relationships, and capacity.

And if you’re raising a child with ADHD, these same principles can help you create more structure without constantly nagging and reminding.

🎧 Comment **“EPISODE”** below and we’ll send you the link in a DM!

Here’s another finding from that Harvard study: people’s level of satisfaction with their relationships at age 50 was a better predictor of physical health than even their cholesterol levels!

Invest in your friendships.

In your 20s before having kids.
In your 30s while raising toddlers.
In your 40s in the harsh teen years.
In your 50s as empty nesters.
In your 60s as retirees.

Tag your friend who’s deserving of being in your circle ❤️

p.s. these friends have been in my life for 20 years— before any of us had kids, one couple wasn’t even married yet. Now our kids range from 7 y.o. to a sophomore in college. And we started a tradition 12 years ago after one family moved away of spending one weekend together. I love hosting them and doing life with them!

Just bursting one ADHD myth at a time 🧠🤍

If you’re brave enough to commit to this 30-day environment reset challenge, it’ll be the best thing for your brain (whether neurotypical or neurodivergent).

And for more support like this, follow along!

The greatest gift you can give your child before they leave home isn’t a college acceptance letter, a career plan, or even life skills it’s a faith that becomes their own. ❤️

In this week’s episode, I sit down with author Douglas McKelvey Douglas McKelvey to talk about how we can intentionally prepare our children for adulthood by helping them build lifelong rhythms of prayer, trust, and dependence on God. Because one day they won’t have us beside them but they can always have Him.

🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts, or click the link in my bio!

👇 **Comment “EPISODE” below, and we’ll send you the link in a DM!**

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ParentingPodcast

I’m realizing summer nights feel different when you’re raising teenagers.

When they’re little, summer brings endless days of bare feet, late bedtimes, popsicles stained-shirts.

And then all of a sudden, you’re watching a boy who used to need you for everything become a young man who needs you way less (and wants to be with their friends way more.)

So I’m learning to slow down and protect these nights.

To sit outside a little longer.

To sit up and talk a bit when he wanders into our room at 10 p.m.

To keep family dinners on the calendar.

To make our home a place his friends want to be.

Because adolescence is a massive season of change.

During puberty, boys’ testosterone levels rise dramatically, alongside major changes in the brain systems involved in reward, motivation, emotion, and social behavior. Teen boys are becoming more independent, more aware of status and belonging, and increasingly oriented toward their peers.

But their growing independence doesn’t mean they need less relationship!!

It means the relationship has to grow WITH them.

They may not crawl into our laps anymore.

They may answer with fewer words.

They may choose their friends more often.

They may need more privacy and more room to figure out who they are.

Our job isn’t to grip tighter and control more. I know that’s what it feels like they need…. But instead, we have to stay curious about how to draw closer without crowding them.

Here’s a golden nugget that’ll really help: a researcher on gender differences found that boys connect better when they’re shoulder to shoulder with us. And girls connect with us better when they’re face to face.

So, let’s put the phone down. Crank up some music. Sit outside. Make the late-night snack. Just order more pizza as the teens pile into our kitchen. Take the drive. Ask the question, and don’t rush to fill the silence. Have more life cream dates.

Because one summer, without realizing it, we’ll have had the last one with all of them still living under our roof. I cried watching father of the bride thinking of this last night 🥹

So right now, I’m all in for this one summer night I’ll never get back 💛