05/11/2024
The man-o-phere underbelly has made it to the socially awkward mainstream using the protector provider pick-up-artist version trope to tap into the very deficit they have created in our culture.
Women feeling a lack of protection and provision is very complex, nuanced, historically rooted, social psychology issue and when it’s latched onto as a means for a man to get his way, it loses all value and becomes the exact opposite behavior to the words they are saying.
I was moving in those men’s coaching circles for years as I attempted to create a bridge out of that limited way of living for good men.
The less wounded men connected and appreciated me being there while the rest felt threatened and angry about the opportunities I offered.
I can tell you that the protector/provider idea was over used and misapplied as the foundation of the whole “alpha male” Manosphere movement, and it was the very rare guy that was able to connect with the actual powerful application and appropriate use of this idea in modern dating/mating and relating times.
Men that don’t do well with women fall into two categories:
1) the guys that would worship and fawn over other men that preach these hollow tropes.
They hoped that following a blueprint or obsessive focus on one coach would bring them success, so they don’t actually have to do the inner work to grow as a human being.
They became fan boys for these profiteering online personalities that had crafted a character to operate behind to build a cult-like following.
These online personalities made themselves look “successful” and many of these lonely vulnerable men latched on with extreme loyalty.
They really believed that if they just worked this guy’s program hard enough and showed up often enough to all his meetings then they too, were going to be able to be successful in these ways that they perceived this leader to be.
2) the other group of men sought growth so they became socially aware enough to see right through the incel/alpha/PUA bu****it and succeed in a more evolved way of living.
With with just little new information and support during their ah-ha moments they quickly stepped into their own personal power.
Following a guru lost all its appeal.
The emotional crippled and stuck mindset guys could have studied forever without a single breakthrough.
I would give them some homework to go through and ask them to document their ah-ha moments as they went through it.
You wouldn’t believe how many men would ask me what an ah-ha moment was, and even when I explained it, they still didn’t understand and they still couldn’t do the assignment.
In other words, in the frame of the 12 stages of adult maturation those that stay stuck looping round and round between stage one and three are a very different type of man that the man that can run the full spectrum 1 through 12 with confidence and thoughtfulness.
The 1-12 capable guys enjoy their lives and they qualify for the most sought after and successful women. 
The Stage 1 through 3 loopers have their leaders.
They need parental figure leaders.
They need the courts to tell them what to do.
They need a rulebook to follow.
And they are so relieved when someone just like Donald Trump comes along and hands them a playbook that fits where they are currently at rather than offering a path that challenges them to move forward.
The gap between Stage 3 and 4 appears to be widening making the leap up and over even more challenging.
Please don’t waste anymore time trying to get a breakthrough with the 1-3 loppers.
Instead, focus ALL your attention and give all you energy to what you DO want for the future and lend your support to those who have also already taken that huge leap into Stage 4, give all you have to those who are capable of holding the vision towards Stage 12 living.
Fortify yourself and keep emotionally mature and growth focused company, no matter what the outcome of the election today.
This is the grassroots way to encourage healthy progress.
We need to become part of the tipping point, part of that critical mass that shifts the entire human family to the next positive upgrade.
We need to create peace within ourselves, our household, our neighborhood, our cities, and then we will see the effect of that on our higher national and international communities and governance.
It’s a micro to macro thing.
It’s a personal growth thing.
It’s a harmony between men and women thing.
@ Stages of Intentional Living & Loving e-Guide
