Shine Your Light Christian Coaching and Consulting

07/14/2024

Ok I don’t normally write about movies; but my gosh. This movie we just saw SOUND of HOPE: The Story of Possum Trot . It was really amazing, so powerful and hearwrenching. Yes, it’s about adoption. I was prepared for it to be this fluffy Christian watered down story of how people should adopt, but it was so much more than that.

It is real and it is brutal. It is the incredible story of perseverance. The kids and I came out of that movie saying wow…that’s like a glimpse into our family. One of the main characters was so much like one of our children. Felt somewhat traumatizing remembering the struggles of loving children who have a limited ability to give and receive affection due to attachment issues, trauma history, etc.

I love that the movie didn’t sugar coat the adoption experience. The parents started out just like we did and many of our friends did. This idealistic mentality that God has called us to adopt, so yes just give us whoever nobody else will take. And then they learn (like we did) what exactly it means to take in the ones who have bounced from home to home to home to home and why nobody else will take certain children 😥

There are moments they want to give up, moments they say they don’t even like the children, moments the biological child blames them for bringing the challenges into the home, moments they are afraid, moments of violence/unrest, moments the question if God truly called them to this. Some things they only briefly touch much on (lying, stealing, manipulative behavior), and other things they go into more deeply.

I wish every pre adoptive family could watch this movie and not run for the hills and still proceed to adopt with their eyes wide open. It is a story of hope and how God does not call us to “easy” and we have to lean on each other as well to make it through.

Makes me miss our quarterly birthday parties back in Oregon. We had such a large community of friends that became family. Many of which were also large adoptive parents who knew the struggles. That community of others who “get it” was really what got us through the day to day stucgles. Doyle-Bonnie Ball Judi KloperCindy Griffin Wilkins David Slansky Susan Tompkins Emily Luttrell Liz Jean Pierre Mickey McRoberts Holly McPhetridge Jane J Hays Karen M Sheets Rhyan Buettner Desmaret Aimee Siebers Fessler Sharon Hundley Parker Tana Swartout de Guzman Kirsten Reber Alexander-Mcdermet

Thank you everyone who has been there with us through the ups and downs of adoption and who have prayed for us for throughout the entire journey. Parents often have those who pray for them to bring their children home, but the real challenges actually come “after” the children have come home from Haiti or Russia or the next town or state over. It’s easy to look at the hard times and wonder why in the world did we do this? This movie really reminds us of the “why” and I think we all need that to keep us going. ❤️🙏🏼

05/13/2024

Going live at 7pm west coast / 10pm east coast time talking about grief and loss on Mother’s Day.

01/25/2024

So I’m thinking of going back to my once a week live sessions . I am trying to allow my practice to grow and change now that I’m stateside again. So ….I’m wondering about what topics are most needed ? Adoption, missionary/expat, parenting , fitness 🤔 Would these be better with zoom or just an open live feed on FB or Instagram ?

Let me know if any of these seem like they would be helpful :

Returning from the Mission Field - Adjusting to Life in the USA - complex trauma, depression, ptsd, anxiety, living with a torn heart, the reality of never being “home”

Considering becoming a Missionary? Things to know . How to prepare . Independent or with an organization. Country dynamics. Culture and Language, leaving the USA . What to expect .

Raising Kids on the Mission Field. How to balance ministry and family life . How to serve others without sacrificing your own family.

Missionary Kids/Third Culture Kids/Expats - the challenges of growing up internationally . How to process loss and grief. Experiencing trauma. How to handle being different .

Transracially/culturally adopted kids - looking and being different from your parents . Processing loss and grief of your home country and culture . How adoption is formed through loss- acknowledging that extreme loss. Holding onto your culture while embracing new things. Being different than your peers. Handling intrusive questions.

The Dark Side of Parenting Kids through Adoption- delve into some of the more extreme challenges and ways to handle them. Attachment disorder. Loving kids who are unable to really love back. Worried about who we are becoming. Developing a fear response with our own children. What sabotaging behavior does to the whole family. Secondary trauma and our response to it.

Biological Children being Raised with Adopted or Foster Siblings: How they feel. Helping them adjust. What to do with feelings of guilt for the exposure on the other kids. Handling resentment, favoritism, and jealousy from all angles. Protecting the entire family unit.

Raising Trauma Kids. Help! No consequence ever works. Why this is true and how to transition to a connection parenting model. What is TBRI and how to implement it.

Considering Adoption? Question/answer. International, domestic, foster care, infant, older, younger, sibling groups, altering birth order, drug exposure, malnutrition, attachment risks, pros and cons or various programs and things to consider.

Empty Nesters in Adoption- when your kids are grown chronically, but not ready for the real world. Worrying about their choices in life. Wondering how they can possibly survive. Wanting them out, but feeling pain when they entirely walk away. Was everything we sacrificed for nothing? What about grandkids ? How much to help without enabling. Embracing our own healing from the whole experience.

Fitness for Mental Health- how moving our body helps our mind. Ways to adapt to injury and limitations. Ways to get and stay motivated.

Bodybuilding: Active competitor or considering to compete. Things to consider. Body dysmorphia, outside pressure, handling negative input and outright hostile reactions, family and friends response, mental toughness, why are we doing this? Filtering comments about not being a woman, looking like a man , moral judgements and How it can impact your mind.

09/09/2023

Come check out my new website! ❤️😊https://www.shineyourlightchristian.com

09/05/2023

Our new website is up. Come check it out and share with your friends. 😊 We would greatly appreciate any referrals or recommendations ❤️🙏🏼

With a personalized approach, we'll work together to identify your strengths, overcome obstacles, and create a roadmap for your success. All within a safe, supportive, and empowering environment.

09/05/2023

09/04/2023

Check out our new website :

With a personalized approach, we'll work together to identify your strengths, overcome obstacles, and create a roadmap for your success. All within a safe, supportive, and empowering environment.

08/22/2023

Sometimes when I say “I’m ok.” I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say “I know you’re not.” 😢 Never forget: it’s ok to not be in ❤️

08/20/2023

Hugs 🤗…it’s gonna be ok. This too shall pass ❤️❤️❤️