Eat-Sleep-Love

The Count from Sesame Street Lists All the Ways You Failed Your Toddler Today Greetings! It is I, the Count, and the number of the day is TEN! Let’s count the TEN WAYS you did not meet the exacting and unpredictable standards...

I Support the Girls has launched a new program...a D.A.S.H. Kit, for the 1 in 4 women who are victims of domestic violence. I Support the Girls regularly donates hundreds of thousands of products to domestic violence shelters. Due to COVID, shelters are now overwhelmed with people. The individual requests keep coming daily. My friend Dana Marlowe and Erin Kliewer Persaud decided to do something and created a program to fill that need, launching today for Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

They can’t do this alone. They have the product that these women in awful situations need, but they need help to get the word out. 💜 Consider sharing the post, privately sending it to a friend in need, or donating the cost of shipping a D.A.S.H. kit to someone in need. Thank you.

If you left an abusive relationship during COVID, get our support: http://isupportthegirls.org/dashkit

If it’s not you, it might be your friend.

Why should we hide from this?

Frida Mom’s Rejected Oscars Ad Sparks an Important Conversation About Postpartum Recovery "By choosing not to air Frida Mom’s Oscars ad, ABC missed an opportunity to make moms feel seen."

An important issue...how systemic racism impacts even birth in our country.

Kira Johnson Spoke 5 Languages, Raced Cars, Was Daughter in Law of Judge Glenda Hatchett. She Still Died in Childbirth. By all accounts, Kira Johnson could be described as a phenomenal woman. She traveled extensively, spoke five languages, and even raced cars with her adoring husband of 10 years right by her side.

Because it is very true....

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION: Grey background with white words, first line in larger letters written:
If you give a mom a muffin,
she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll pour herself some.
Her three year-old will come and spill the coffee.
Mom will wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry into the washer, she'll trip over shoes and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will reminder her she has to plan supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook (How to Make 101 Things With a Pound of Hamburger).
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The checkbook is in her purse, which is being dumped out by her two year-old.
Then she'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year-old.
While she is changing the two year-old, the phone will ring.
Her five year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she was supposed to phone a friend to come over for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
She will pour herself some more.
And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it. - Beth Brubaker.]

😁

Image Credit: Beth Brubaker, Inspirational Humorist

For you moms out there who also have it all....

I Am the One Woman Who Has It All I have two kids and the unspoken pressure to act like they don’t exist when I’m on a conference call.

Because everyone needs a happy baby story!

Mama Giraffe Waits for Exhausted Newborn Baby to Show Signs of Life A few lucky people visiting the Memphis Zoo located in Tennessee got to experience a one-of-a-kind moment that they will probably never forget. They got to

Absolutely.

Alright guys, I'm gonna get real with you for a second. I haven't gotten real with you in awhile, y'all know I've been going through things and trying to get right with God and stop swearing but I need to speak on something. Dinner time. Dinner time is some ultimate bu****it and I'm TIRED of it.

I'm not running for public office, but if I were, my entire platform would be that all children under 10 be fed exclusively Ensure until they learn to cook for themselves whichever happens first. I'd also introduce the idea of sleep-away preschool for three-year-olds because there is no one who spends time around that particular demographic who doesn't lose a piece of their precious minds because three-year-olds do.not.give.a.single.f&@$.

I'm tired of dinner. It is absolutely insane that every night, mothers and fathers are forced to waste their life force trying to convince their seed to CONTINUE LIVING via the ingestion of essential nutrients. You don't see baby koalas and buffalo rejecting their bamboo and savanna grass do you? You don't see little toddler alligators talking about, "Mama, this gazelle is too stringy. It's hot. Mama the blood is hot. It's hot, mama. Can you blow on it even though I too am capable of blowing?" You don't hear baby seagulls asking how many more bites of sewer garbage they have to eat until they can go s**t on a sunbather. No. It's just human children.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of cooking food 1/3 or 2/3 or 0/3 of them like and watching them look at their plates of pan-seared chicken thighs with roasted potatoes and baby corn like it's a pile of duck tongues served with on a bed of infant baby fingers garnished with dirty toenail clippings, backwash and leprosy. It's not poison, kids, it's called FOOD welcome to life.

"Just wait them out, then." GENIUS. I'll just sit at the table with one sobbing kid while the other two fend for themselves (i.e. fight to the death). Or better yet, I'll just put the meal away until they're hungry and keep re-serving it to them like this is some kind of internment camp or KGB training exercise meant to break their wills so that I can rebuild them into robotic super spies. I don't hate my kids. I hate dinner time.

"I never had this problem." GOOD. Then go sit in the corner with your anomaly while the rest of us brainstorm. First rule of parenting: If you don't relate to a struggle, shut the (I love God) up. Just shut it right up. My kids sleep well, but you don't see me talking about it to parents at the park with the shaky hands and bloodshot eyes that scream, "I know what 2AM looks like," do you?

"Just send them to bed without eating." Hilarious. I like sleeping. It agrees with me.

We as parents need to come together. Rather than feeding our children individually in our own homes, we need to nourish them at giant picnic tables in the street sitting side by side, too distracted by each other's presence to realize they're eating. Screw traffic- every night at 6PM, we set up the collapsible tables and do it orphanage-style: handing out sandwiches and apple slices and then hosing down the kids with dish soap (bath time) and calling it a night. Success.

We can't live like this anymore. We need a solution. What do you say? You in?

For the new moms out there....how many of these sound familiar to you?

25 Hilariously Unfortunate Things Moms Have Done While Sleep-Deprived 25 Hilariously Unfortunate Things Moms Have Done While Sleep-Deprived