The Split Coach

I know that these are hard truths to hear, but the first step in healing from narcissistic abuse is recognizing it and acknowledging that it happened to you.⠀
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You deserve so much better than this. 🫶⠀
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If it feels like you’re talking to a brick wall, it’s because you are.⠀
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You can’t make someone see your point if they’re determined to never see it.⠀
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Instead of focusing on getting them to understand you, focus on giving yourself permission to be misunderstood. 🫶⠀
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Sometimes, it feels downright awful at first.⠀
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There’s a common misconception that doing what’s right for you will feel good and that you’ll immediately feel better and in alignment.⠀
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But change and growth can be uncomfortable, and even painful at times. Making new choices and starting new habits that support the life you want to live won’t always feel good in the beginning, but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do.⠀
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It WILL get better. But in the meantime, give yourself grace and allow yourself to feel those feelings. It’s the only way to truly heal and move forward. ❤️‍🩹⠀
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Does your ex know exactly which buttons to press to get a rise out of you? 😠⠀
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Take back your power by Practicing the Pause. This can be a game changer when it comes to communicating with your ex.⠀
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This practice doesn’t always come easy, especially when emotions are high in the beginning stages of the divorce process, or if you’re co-parenting with someone who’s high conflict. But even then, it is possible with support.⠀
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I’m here for you. Book a Strategy Session at the link in my bio and let’s do this together. 💛⠀
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Living in peace > Living in broken pieces⠀
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Realistically, leaving a narcissist will not just make all of the problems go away, but it does provide you with the space and clarity to handle them a hell of a lot better. 💯⠀

Let me know your thoughts on this in the poll 🫶
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One of the biggest worries most parents have when they get divorced is how their kids will handle it.⠀
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The good news is, kids are very resilient! A lot of how they will cope depends on how their parents cope.⠀
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The best thing you can do for your child is to let them still be a kid! As much as you want them to be on your “side” or to miss you terribly while they’re away from you, those things shouldn’t even be a worry that crosses their mind.⠀
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The second best thing you can do? Focus on your own healing, because if you’re good, they’ll be good. I know it’s hard. I know you have so many worries… about how the divorce will affect them long-term, about still staying an active participant in their life, about not wanting them to blame you for the divorce…⠀
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But those worries probably aren’t even on their radar, unless you bring them up. Keep the lines of communication open, but truly, the best thing you can do is just let them enjoy their childhood as much as possible. They WILL thank you later.⠀
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You’ve got this 🫶🫶⠀
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*I understand that co-parenting with a high-conflict personality can leave a lot of this outside of your control. For that, I strongly encourage you to work with a coach or attend support groups where you can get that much-needed support you deserve.⠀
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Bonus reminder: Welcome a new beginning. You’re ready for it 💛⠀
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Which one did you need to hear most today?⠀
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When you’re in an unhealthy relationship, co-parenting with a narcissist, or dealing with a high-conflict personality in some other way, it’s common to feel like you don’t have a voice. Like you don’t have a say in things, your opinion doesn’t matter, and you don’t have power to change the situation.⠀
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You might feel like your life is a mess and that you don’t know how to get out of this situation. ⠀
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Remember that feeling powerless is a state of mind. It’s the perception or belief that you don’t have power, not the reality.⠀
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You are not powerless. You do have control over certain aspects of your situation, most importantly, your mind and the narrative you create of the situation. That other person can’t take that from you.⠀
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Stay focused on that and surround yourself with the support you need to stay in that place of power permanently. You’ve got this. 💪🫶⠀
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There is still damage that comes from growing up in a home where your parents can’t stand each other and who fight constantly, but still choose to stay together “for the kids”. Oftentimes, that’s even more damaging than having parents who chose to divorce because they couldn’t get along.⠀
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Your home is not broken. 🫶⠀
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Work on you, for you… Making your healing a priority is so important when going through a divorce. 💛⠀
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Acknowledge and process your emotions.⠀
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Allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship and be patient with the healing process.⠀
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Seek support from friends, family, or professionals, as talking about your feelings can be so therapeutic.⠀
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Invest time in self-reflection to understand your own role in the relationship and identify potential areas for personal growth.⠀
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Set realistic goals for self-improvement and take small steps towards them (celebrate every step! 🎉). This can boost your confidence and help you rebuild a sense of identity that’s often lost during a divorce.⠀
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Practice self-care consistently, both mentally and physically.⠀
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Establish routines that bring you joy and relaxation. Engaging in activities you’re passionate about can help cultivate a positive mindset. ⠀
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It’s important to let go of resentment and focus on forgiveness, not necessarily for the other person but for your own peace of mind. This doesn’t mean you’re condoning their actions, but you’re releasing the emotional burden they carry. 🫶⠀
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By committing to your healing journey, you’re paving the way for a more authentic and fulfilling life post-divorce. This self-focus will naturally attract healthier relationships and opportunities aligned with your new life. You’ve got this! ✨⠀
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What energy/feeling do you want to have more of in your life in 2024?⠀
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I hope this new year brings you all the wonderful things you deserve 🫶 Happy New Year! ✨⠀
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A lot of us turn to reflection this time of year, on both the good and the bad that has happened. Even if the good has outweighed the bad for you (which I truly hope it has 🫶), just know that it’s still okay to grieve and be sad over the things that were hurtful or disappointing.⠀
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You can offer yourself compassion while still growing and embracing the future.⠀
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