Animam Agere Death Doula

Grief is like the ocean, it comes in waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim. ~ Vicki Harrison

To those grieving and coping with loss, I hold a safe space for you to experience your emotions and remember your loved one.

Grief is one of the oldest and most enduring aspects of the human experience. If you haven’t yet experienced grief, it’s unfortunately likely to happen. The term ‘grief’ encompasses all of the emotions around a loss, and ‘mourning’ is defined as the external expression of the pain. ‘Bereavement’ is another commonly-used term for grief. Throughout human history, there have been many attempts to describe and heal grief, and they have changed significantly over the years.

Today, National Grief Awareness Day, is dedicated to raising awareness of the myriad ways in which individuals experience and cope with loss. It offers resources to those going through personal losses and reminds us to support people we know who are grieving. National Grief Awareness Day, founded by Angie Cartwright in 2014, hopes to encourage open communication on loss and bereavement and better inform the public on the facts of grief.

People often message me to ask when the best time to do advanced directives is and the best answer I can give is always, the earlier the better. Not necessarily in advanced years of age does the end of life planning process begin. When a new diagnosis is made, an accident, life event change, etc…it’s never too early to plan for your end of life.
When we have our advance directives done and we have a conversation with our family, caregivers, medical providers and loved ones about what we would want or not want for our end of life wishes, the end of life goes better by 80% to 90%, no matter what the end of life disease process is.
We have all but removed the skill of end of life conversations and preparations from our present-day society. The lack of awareness that death is and will be a natural part of our life's journey, and the lack of skills the average person has on knowing how to care for someone we love at the end of their life has led to death becoming 1000 times more difficult than it needs to be, usually accompanied by unnecessary suffering, usually of the dying person’s family and loved ones.
It is virtually impossible to have things go well when everyone is in crisis mode at the end of life. As medical caregivers/practitioners, we usually are just putting band aids on things and handling the acute issues right in front of us - but there's so much more that could have been done to allow for a much more positive end of life experience and passing.
So, my message is this: When it comes to end-of-life planning - the earlier, the better.
Death is not a medical experience - it is a human one.
With the right education, kindness, and support, death can be the natural, and sacred experience it was meant to be.
Do you need to plan for end of life? Need further information. Contact me to start the conversation.

For those yearning for a child.
For those who’ve lost a child.
For those mourning for a child.
For those mourning for their mother.
For those with no relationship or a difficult/painful relationship with their mother.
For those doing it alone.
For the women.
This Mother’s Day, every Mother’s Day, won’t be easy for you, or worth celebrating. You are seen. You are loved. You are love. Your sorrow, pain, grief, anger, frustration, your feelings and emotions, whatever they are, are not overlooked. I’m here alongside you and holding you tenderly in my heart. I’m holding this space safe for you.

This Mother’s Day weekend we remember that, Mother’s Day hurts. Mother’s Day sucks for many women.
I’m thinking of you.
You are loved.
You are light.
💐❤️🕯
Please let me know how I can pray for you, assist you, support you through this difficult season.

EOW 4.30.2021
Rest easy in your sleep eternal.
Thank you for your service.
🕊🖤💙🖤🕊

❤️😇🕊😢

The only cure for grief is to grieve.
The only way to come out of mourning is to mourn.
For those of us left behind after the passing of a loved one, death is painful. Death hurts. We survive by grieving and mourning.

A good death is defined as a person’s death being free from avoidable distress and suffering for them, their family and loved ones, and caregivers, in general accord with their wishes, and reasonably consistent with clinical, cultural and ethical standards. What and how does dying a good death mean to you? As a death doula, I can help you plan for that ideal good death.
Better endings start

Everyone feels sad sometimes, just like everyone can feel joyful, angry, proud and plenty of other emotions. In other words, everyone has feelings, and those feeling are always changing.

Sometimes we feel happy (such as when we’re having fun) and sometimes we feel sad (such as when we lose a loved one). Whatever the feeling, it is real and part of living.

Sadness is also a part of grief. The sadness will ease, over time, with time. So, how do you help a grieving person? Let them be sad. Ask if they’re ok. Listen when they respond, really listen. Sit with them. You won’t make them feel better by telling them it’s gonna be alright or to remember the good times. If it’s awkward, let it be. If they’re silent, sit with them in the silence. Just be and be there for them. Hang out with them in their pain. It’s the best way to help.

In honor of Mother Earth on this Earth Day let’s discuss ways to save our home planet while still honoring our deceased loved ones. Have you heard of a green burial? A green (or natural) burial emphasizes simplicity and environmental sustainability. The body is neither cremated nor prepared with chemicals, such as embalming fluids. It is simply placed in a biodegradable coffin or shroud and interred without a concrete burial vault. This helps protect the health of funeral workers too. The grave site is allowed to return to nature. The goal is complete decomposition of the body and its natural return to the soil. Only then can a burial truly be “ashes to ashes, dust to dust,” a phrase so often used when we bury our dead. Not many people know that this is an option when funeral planning for their loved one or planning for end-of-life. Interested to find out more? Contact me so I can help.

Part of your health & wellness is planning for & being prepared for all things medical & end-of-life. An advance directive helps loved ones, and healthcare providers make important decisions in the event of a medical crisis. Having an advance directive in place ensures that your wishes regarding your health care and potential end-of-life wishes are carried out, even when you're unable to make your wishes known. Contact me today to see how I can help in educating you about the importance of advance directives and how to draft those important documents.