Apostolate for Marital Intimacy

Pope St. John Paul II on the difference between NFP and contraception in Familiaris Consortio

"When couples, by means of recourse to contraception, separate these two meanings that God the Creator has inscribed in the being of man and woman and in the dynamism of their sexual communion, they act as "arbiters" of the divine plan and they "manipulate" and degrade human sexuality-and with it themselves and their married partner-by altering its value of "total" self-giving. Thus the innate language that expresses the total reciprocal self-giving of husband and wife is overlaid, through contraception, by an objectively contradictory language, namely, that of not giving oneself totally to the other. This leads not only to a positive refusal to be open to life but also to a falsification of the inner truth of conjugal love, which is called upon to give itself in personal totality.

When, instead, by means of recourse to periods of infertility, the couple respect the inseparable connection between the unitive and procreative meanings of human sexuality, they are acting as "ministers" of God's plan and they "benefit from" their sexuality according to the original dynamism of "total" selfgiving, without manipulation or alteration." Familiaris Consortio 32

Catholic Married Couples Do Not Need To Intend To Conceive Each Time They Engage in the Marital Act

145. An integral vision of conjugal charity does not deny its fruitfulness—that is, the possibility of generating new life—because “this totality, which is required by conjugal love, also corresponds to the demands of responsible fertility.”[232] The sexual union, as a way of expressing conjugal charity, must naturally remain open to the transmission of life,[233] even though this does not mean that procreation must be an explicit goal of every sexual act. In fact, three legitimate situations may occur:

(a) Where a couple cannot have children. Karol Wojtyła explains this magnificently when he recalls that marriage “possesses an inter-personal structure: it is a union and a community of two persons. […] [The couple may be without children for a variety of reasons, but this] in no way deprives marriage of its proper character. The inner and essential raison d’être of marriage is not simply its eventual transformation into a family but is, above all, the creation of a lasting personal union between a man and a woman based on love. […] A marriage which, through no fault of the spouses, is childless still retains its full value as an institution. […] [Such a family] does not lose its significance.”[234]

(b) Where a couple does not consciously pursue a specific sexual act as a means of procreation. Wojtyła also affirms that a conjugal act, “must be an act of love, an act of unification of persons, and not merely the ‘instrument’ or ‘means’ of procreation.”[235]

(c) Where a couple respects the natural times of infertility. Following this line of reflection, Pope Saint Paul VI states: “the Church teaches that married people may then take advantage of the natural cycles immanent in the reproductive system and engage in marital in*******se only during those times that are infertile.”[236] This can serve not only for “spacing births,” but also to choose the most opportune moments to welcome new life. In the meantime, the couple can take advantage of such periods to “express their mutual love and safeguard their fidelity toward one another. In doing this, they certainly give proof of a true and authentic love.”[237] Una Caro, 145

NFP is NOT Contraception Part 2:
Pope St. Paul VI in Humanae Vitae

"If therefore there are well-grounded reasons for spacing births, arising from the physical or psychological condition of husband or wife, or from external circumstances, the Church teaches that married people may then take advantage of the natural cycles immanent in the reproductive system and engage in marital in*******se only during those times that are infertile, thus controlling birth in a way which does not in the least offend the moral principles which We have just explained. (20)

Neither the Church nor her doctrine is inconsistent when she considers it lawful for married people to take advantage of the infertile period but condemns as always unlawful the use of means which directly prevent conception, even when the reasons given for the later practice may appear to be upright and serious. In reality, these two cases are completely different. In the former the married couple rightly use a faculty provided them by nature. In the later they obstruct the natural development of the generative process. It cannot be denied that in each case the married couple, for acceptable reasons, are both perfectly clear in their intention to avoid children and wish to make sure that none will result. But it is equally true that it is exclusively in the former case that husband and wife are ready to abstain from in*******se during the fertile period as often as for reasonable motives the birth of another child is not desirable. And when the infertile period recurs, they use their married intimacy to express their mutual love and safeguard their fidelity toward one another. In doing this they certainly give proof of a true and authentic love." Humanae Vitae 16

NFP is NOT Contraception

Theo McManigal explains here why NFP and Contraception are completely different.

The Catholic Marriage And Intimacy Podcast: NFP vs. Contraception

In this episode of The Catholic Marriage And Intimacy Podcast, Theo McManigal discusses why natural family planning and contraception are very different, and show where NFP is approved in various documents of the Magisterium of the Catholic Church.

This is profoundly moving marriage advice from Dr. Peter Kreeft.

If You're Dreading Intimate Time, Something Is Not Right

If you schedule intimacy, but are not looking forward to it, then you have the gift of realizing that you are not looking forward to it and that is what you and your spouse need to talk about and work on.

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Should S*x Be Scheduled or Spontaneous?

Having both scheduled and spontaneous intimacy is important in marriage, but in our recent podcast episode, we argue for why it is important to schedule intimacy.

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Get Help If You Know You Need It!

Whether things are only bad in the bedroom or disconnected everywhere, get help, and regardless of where you start, you will end up in the right place.