09/09/2025
It’s common for couples to get stuck in the same argument again and again.
One partner, the “pursuer,” reaches out feeling anxious or frustrated. The other, the “withdrawer,” pulls away to avoid conflict. Tension builds, and both walk away feeling disconnected. Over time, this pattern can start to feel hopeless.
This is what I call the Conflict Loop — and the good news is, we understand how it works, and there are clear steps to interrupt it.
It’s rooted in attachment. Long before words are spoken, the body reacts. We tense up, experience old sadness or anger, and shift into criticism, shutdown, or fix-it mode. The loop takes over — until we learn how to step out of it.
I help individuals and couples recognize this pattern and provide the tools to break it. If this pattern sounds familiar, I invite you to schedule a free 15-minute consultation.
