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Dr. Debra Dupree - The Mindshift Mediator

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Dr. Debra Dupree - The Mindshift Mediator

We don't simply resolve disputes - we restore productive relationships. Restoring People. Rebuilding Leadership. Renewing Workplaces

Let's develop some new frameworks for living and working. I once had to discover my story, uncover my fears, find my voice, and strengthen my communication skills. I grew up in a large Norwegian family where I didn't have a voice and lacked confidence. I now use my skills as a psychologist, a mediator and conflict coach to help people move beyond limiting beliefs and open new doors of possibilities. Showing up with intention, compassion, and a "CAN DO" mindset, we build frameworks to support you at work and at home...leaders with difficult employees, employees with bad bosses, couples struggling in their relationship...divorce and parenting, siblings dealing with their aging parents, family estate and business disputes. I've found my voice and would love to help you find yours.

09/04/2026

Most leaders say they want a resilient team, but what they're actually describing is a team that can absorb more without breaking.

Real resilience is a team where someone can say "I'm struggling" before it becomes a crisis, and where recovery is treated as part of the work, not something you earn after running yourself down.

This week, notice whether your team has that kind of space, or just a higher tolerance for strain.

Follow me here for more on what real team resilience actually looks like, and subscribe to my newsletter for this month's full series.

09/01/2026

𝗔𝘃𝗼𝗶𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴.

Before you label a dip in their performance as attitude, commitment, or carelessness, it's worth checking whether what you're actually looking at is overload wearing a performance costume.

The two can look identical from the outside, missed deadlines, shorter answers, less initiative, and the label you choose determines everything that happens next.

Here's what I ask myself before I decide which one I'm looking at. Save this and run it against whatever performance conversation you're about to have.

𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻.

08/31/2026

𝗪𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗴𝗻𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗯𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝗿𝗼𝘀𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱?

Most people aren't going to walk into your office and name exactly what they need.

You're far more likely to notice something smaller first.

Someone who used to stay on top of the details starts missing a few, takes longer to respond, seems quieter in meetings, or gets a little sharper with a coworker than usual.

Here's where I want you to be careful. When you've worked with someone for a while, it's tempting to turn a change in behavior into an explanation, deciding they're disengaged, their attitude has shifted, or they're just not performing the way they used to.

But all you actually know is that something changed, and that's the part worth paying attention to before you decide why.

You don't need to diagnose burnout, depression, anxiety, or anything else, since one change in behavior rarely tells you what's actually happening in someone's life.

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘂𝗽 𝘁𝗼𝗴𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿, 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗰𝘂𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗮 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻.

When strain goes unnoticed long enough, it rarely stays contained to one person. Work gets quietly redistributed, coworkers start compensating, communication gets shorter, and small tensions begin turning into real conflict.

By the time someone finally says they can't keep doing this, the team has usually been showing you something was wrong for weeks.

So here's what I'd ask you to notice this week.

𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗺 𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝘄𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗵𝘀 𝗮𝗴𝗼?

Not to diagnose it or explain it away, just to notice, since that's often where good disability-informed leadership actually begins.

Follow me here for more on mental health, disability management, and what happens when strain begins affecting how someone works.

08/26/2026

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗻'𝘁 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗳𝗶𝗿𝘀𝘁.

This week, I've been writing about noticing when someone on your team needs a check-in and having the courage to actually say something instead of quietly working around it.

What I haven't said yet is that avoiding those conversations often has less to do with not caring and more to do with running on empty.

𝗔 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗼𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗴𝗲𝘁𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱.

𝗡𝗼 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗻𝗼 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗮 𝗱𝗶𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗰𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝘀𝘄𝗲𝗿, 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘂𝗿𝗴𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝗶𝘁 𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸𝗹𝘆 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻.

This Wellness Wednesday is a reminder that your own outlet, whatever that looks like for you, movement, something creative, or a few minutes of actual quiet, isn't separate from your ability to lead well. It's what makes you capable of creating space for someone else when they need it.

𝗙𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘄𝘀 𝘂𝗽 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝘂𝗯𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝘆 𝗻𝗲𝘄𝘀𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗸'𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺𝗲.

What's your actual outlet, the thing you protect on your calendar no matter what? Curious if people actually have one or just know they should.

08/25/2026

The word "𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗿𝘆" stops meaning anything once nobody's checking it against a calendar.

It just becomes the way things are, and everyone stops noticing it was ever supposed to be short-term.

Here are four signs worth checking against your own team right now.

Follow me here for more, and subscribe to my newsletter for the full breakdown behind this month's theme.

08/24/2026

𝗡𝗼𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀, 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲.

There's just a conversation that felt informal enough not to write down, followed by weeks of quietly adjusting around it.

You notice someone's struggling with part of their role, so you shift a task to a coworker without making it official, since it feels easier than opening a whole process for something that might sort itself out.

You let a schedule slide a little, telling yourself it's temporary, and figure you'll sort out the details once things settle down.

Weeks pass, then months, and you could describe exactly what's happening day to day, who's covering what, and how the schedule actually works now.

What you couldn't do is say when any of it was requested, why it was approved, or whether anyone's checked lately if it's still the right call, and that's the part that quietly turns good intentions into risk, since there's nothing to point back to if someone eventually asks why.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀𝗻'𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗰𝗲𝗱𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁; 𝗶𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗻𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀 𝗮 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁, 𝘀𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝗲𝗱, 𝘄𝗵𝘆 𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗽𝗼𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻.

That's the difference between an arrangement you can explain and one you're just hoping nobody questions.

08/21/2026

You can't fully unplug. You micromanage without meaning to. You struggle to delegate. You feel guilty for resting.

That's Overachiever Syndrome, and it's more costly than it looks.

Here's what happens when a leader gets stuck in it: trust breaks down because no one feels safe enough to contribute freely. Communication gets tense because perfection leaves no room for honesty. Innovation stops when everyone plays it safe instead of taking risks.

It rarely looks like open conflict. It looks like tension in the air, unspoken expectations, and pressure that quietly spreads to everyone around you.

The good news: you interrupt this cycle not by working harder, but by seeing differently.

I use a tool called the 360 Degree Perspective with leaders who are stuck in this exact pattern. It's four questions, asked in the moment tension rises:

Internal: What's happening in me right now? What emotion is present, and what is it trying to protect?

Relational: What's happening between us?
Am I creating space for others,
or unintentionally dominating or withdrawing?

Systemic: What's happening around us? Are there policies or pressures reinforcing this pattern?

Contextual: Why now? What's amplifying this urgency today?

Use it before a hard feedback conversation. In the middle of a heated meeting. The moment you catch yourself gripping too tightly.

Pause. Breathe. Scan the four angles. Then decide how you want to show up, not from fear, but from clarity.

Emotional reactivity narrows your focus. Perspective widens your options.

If you're driven but disconnected, successful but stressed, you're not failing. You're just ready to lead from a deeper place.

08/19/2026

Most employers think they're handling medical accommodations correctly.

They get the doctor's note.
Loop in Workers' Comp. Approve the modified duty.
And assume that's the Interactive Process.

It isn't, and the gap between administering a leave and actually engaging in the process is where risk lives.

This month on 𝗛𝗼𝘁 𝗧𝗼𝗽𝗶𝗰𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲, 𝗗𝗿. 𝗗𝗲𝗯𝗿𝗮 𝗗𝘂𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗙𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗮 𝗔𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮 break down the 4 mistakes employers keep repeating in accommodation cases, including where Workers' Comp and ADA/FEHA collide.

📅 Today | ⏰ 1:00 PM Pacific

08/18/2026

𝗡𝗼𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰 𝗱𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗵𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘆𝗲𝗲 𝗮 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗹𝘁𝗵.

Not because the question is inappropriate, but because nobody ever taught you how to ask it well, so the moment just sits there, feeling risky, no matter what you say.

𝗦𝗼 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗱.

You quietly redistribute the tasks that seem hard for the person now, you let a schedule slide, you tell yourself you're just being kind, and you hope the situation sorts itself out without you ever having to have the harder conversation.

Here's what years of sitting inside these cases have taught me.

Real compliance was never just about having the right forms on file. It was always about whether the process behind those forms could actually hold up if someone questioned it later, and that's the part avoidance quietly breaks, even when every document you're holding looks fine on the surface.

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝗮 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗻 𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗹𝘆, 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗱𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗹𝘆 𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗮𝗿𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗼𝗰𝘂𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝘂𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝘆, 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗿𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗱 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲.

You're doing what compliance was supposed to look like all along, and you're also keeping one person's situation from becoming a much bigger problem for their team and you.

This month, I want to walk through what that actually looks like in practice, not the theory, the practice.

Follow me here for more on what this looks like day-to-day, and subscribe to my newsletter for a deeper breakdown.

08/14/2026

Before you say a single word back, your face already tells someone how safe it is to keep talking.

This week's newsletter looked at why mental health conversations specifically get shut down early, often without either person realizing it happened. In this video, I'm sharing the actual technique I teach for the moment it counts most, three steps you can use in your very next hard conversation:

Decide in advance that your first reaction will be stillness, not a fix.

Count to three before you respond. It feels longer to you than it does to them.

Repeat back what you heard, in your own words, before adding anything of your own.
Save this one. You'll want it before the conversation, not during it.

Follow me here for more on what real listening looks like inside the interactive process, and subscribe to my newsletter for the full monthly series. Link in the comments section below.

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