Aligned AF with Alex Franke

Everything is neutral until you add meaning to it, and the story you created about what that means about you is the reason you’re stuck.

Your husband checked out and your brain went straight to “I wasn’t enough.”

You got passed over at work and it became “I’m not smart enough.”

You snapped at your kids again and now it’s “I’m a bad mom.”

None of that is a fact. It’s a story your nervous system is playing on repeat as if it’s fact.

Here’s how if plays out:

Something happens → you have a thought about it → that thought creates a feeling → that feeling drives everything you do or don’t do → and that’s how you get the same result over and over again wondering why nothing changes.

The circumstance didn’t create your suffering, the thought you attached to it did, and that is actually really good news because thoughts can be changed.

I learned this after burning myself completely out trying to hold everything together in corporate while being a mom and a partner and convincing myself that the exhaustion meant something was wrong with me.

This is exactly what I work through with the women I coach so they can focus their energy on what matters, not made up stories built on fear.

Save this for the next time your brain starts writing a story about what something means about you 👇🏼 and tell me in the comments - what’s the story yours has been running?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

It’s been three years since reconciling with my husband and I knew it was going to be hard but I had no idea what to expect.

You’re not just rebuilding trust, respect, & connection with them, you’re doing it with yourself.

Here’s what I’ve learned that no one prepared me for:

1️⃣ Forgive and forget isn’t real - forgiveness is something you do for yourself, not something you give that erases what happened.

2️⃣ You can’t keep blaming someone forever and also expect to heal. At some point the story you keep telling becomes the thing keeping you stuck, & you’ll never move forward.

3️⃣ Your triggers are going to come up even after you think you’re past it. That’s bc your nervous system needs regulation, not just a mindset shift. The body always remembers what the mind forgets.

4️⃣ Trusting yourself again is harder than trusting them. Somewhere in the breakdown you probably started questioning your own judgment too, and that’s what nobody talks about.

5️⃣ Reconciliation requires discernment, not just commitment. Getting radically honest about what you’re actually willing to rebuild and what you’re not, and then trusting yourself enough to hold that line even when your emotions are all over the place, because the blinders come back fast when you want something to work and your nervous system is still dysregulated.

The nervous system work isn’t optional in reconciliation. It’s the only thing that keeps me grounded and focused on my needs as we continue to heal & rebuild.

Save for later & follow for more ❤️

I said what I said.

I am a working mom
AND
I am an ambitious woman
AND
Some days my business gets the best of me and my family gets what’s left…

and I have done enough healing work to know that doesn’t make me a bad mom, it makes me human.

The guilt that we carry for wanting MORE than just the mom role is wild to me because

❗️nobody asks dads if they feel guilty for being driven
❗️nobody makes men choose between being great at their job and being a good parent

But we walk around ashamed of our ambition like it’s something we need to apologize for?

Absolutely fu***ng not.

You are allowed to be obsessed with your work.

You are allowed to have a whole identity outside of your kids.

You are allowed to say ‘today my career won’ and not spiral about it.

We are not one-dimensional, and the version of you that wants to build something big is just as valid as the version of you that shows up for her family.

Both get to exist, no apology required.

Drop a 🔥if you feel me and follow for more.

My son had to physically rip my phone out of my hands to get my attention and I had the audacity to think I was a present mom…

That hit different when I finally let myself feel it and stopped being a judgy bitch(to myself).

I was executing at the highest level all day long- managing million dollar projects, holding entire teams together, never dropping a ball at work - and then coming home and giving my kid the absolute scraps of whatever was left of me and calling it motherhood.

What actually flipped it for me was:

✅managing my energy during the day so I wasn’t completely fried by pickup.
✅cutting my phone off the second I walked through the door like it was non negotiable.
✅doing my nervous system work in real time when my brain would start running its little to-do list spiral right in the middle of bedtime.

Pro tip👉🏼Sometimes I do it right next to him and he does it with me now and that became our thing.

Your kid isn’t asking for a perfect mom but they can feel when you’re not actually in the room even when your body is, and that’s the thing nobody wants to say out loud.

Save and share with a working mom beating herself up over this 🖤

“My toxic trait is thinking I can do it all without burning out” is a trend I’ve seen all over my feed and every time I see it I want to scream.

Because you’re not crazy for wanting a big life, you’re just missing the skill set.

Nobody taught you how to manage your energy, hold your boundaries, or say no without guilt and then when you crash they hand you a label and call it a personality flaw.

It’s not toxic, it’s not a pipe dream, and you’re not delusional for wanting your career, your family, your relationship, AND yourself in the same lifetime.

You just need the actual tools, which is exactly what I teach.

👉🏼Follow if you’re done making jokes about the thing you actually want ❤️

The dads texted each other, set up the play date, planned the museum, and coordinated lunch after
We didn’t do a single thing.

And before you say “well my husband wouldn’t do that”…

I want you to really sit with this question: does he not do it, or have you just never actually let him?

Because there is a version of your life where you are not the one holding every single logistical detail together in your nervous system at all times, but you cannot get there if you keep doing it all first and resenting it later.

Men are completely capable of stepping up (your kids’ dad included) but if you are always one step ahead of him, he literally never gets the chance to try.

This is what letting go actually looks like and it’s not a vibe, it’s a choice.

👉🏼Tag the mom who needs to see this today

“This is just how it is” is not a fact, it’s a decision you keep making…

And you’ve been making it so long that you’ve convinced yourself it’s the truth.

What you’re calling acceptance is resignation and deep down you know the difference, you just stopped admitting it because admitting it means you have to do something about it.

The resentment, the distance, the version of you that goes completely silent because bringing it up just isn’t worth the fight anymore …

…that is you slowly disappearing inside a dynamic that was never actually working.

And you’ve been calling that marriage.

The thing is, the story that this is just how relationships are was written in you way before this relationship even started.

And you’ve been running it on autopilot ever since wondering why nothing changes.

You can keep calling it “just how it is” or you can get honest about what it’s actually costing you.

Hit the Follow button of this resonates❤️

Entrepreneurship has taught me the value of patience.

I’ve learned to slow down & appreciate the course corrections because they are getting me closer to my ultimate goal.

I’ve never been more clear about the direction I’m going - In my corporate career AND in my business.

When you slow down & learn every lesson, you’ll gain more clarity, & have much bigger success. 💭

What do you think of this concept?

👉🏽 comment AUDIT for a free 30 min Human Design session with me

I know you think you’re stuck & that you can’t have it all without selling your soul.

Im telling you, that’s not true.

If you wake up everyday with a pit in your stomach & your decisions are based off what’s expected of you then we need to dive into your alignment matrix

Im going to teach you how to make the best decisions for you with both feet on the ground.

Waking up will go from “Oh f*ck not this again”, to peace.

DM or comment “AUDIT” to get started.