Sensory Smart Classrooms and Beyond

Losing is hard.

For some kids — especially those with sensory or emotional regulation differences — losing can feel overwhelming. It’s not just disappointment. Their brain can experience it as a full-body stress response.

A video game ending. Failing a test. Losing privileges.

Tears. Anger. Shutdown.

Before we jump to “good sportsmanship,” it helps to remember:
regulation comes before reflection.

When adults stay calm, validate the feeling, and help the child reset, we’re teaching something far more important than winning.

We’re teaching how to recover.

That’s a life skill.

It has been a challenging few days. As I make the final edits to my parenting book, I can’t help but feel like my mom, Hopie, is guiding me to the finish line. It doesn’t feel like a coincidence that today is her birthday.

She was the 1976 Citizen of the Year in Pearland, Texas — Co-Founder of the Pearland Texans, Dad’s Club Secretary, Vice President of the American Business Women’s Association, business owner, Independence Park Board Member, Mom, Nana, role model, and hero.

Even though she has been gone for 25 years, her impact and legacy are just as profound as when she was here on earth. I think about you often and wish you were here to see your grandkids.

Love you. Prayers in Heaven. I hope you are enjoying spoiling Matthew!

Dear friends and family. 26 years ago, Matthew Joseph was born. Who knew that he would have such an impact on this world in the 21 short years he was here. He lit up every room he entered and most people who met him have so many lasting memories of his laugh, his smile, and his kind heart. (And his mischievous nature!)
His life and those around him (brothers, family, educators) was not always easy, but we learned from Matthew. He gave life back to so many when he left this earth via organ donation. He has inspired me to write books to help anyone with sensory challenges.

If we looked at living a full life by the mark you left instead of the years you lived, Matthew lived and was so loved.

Happy Birthday in Heaven to my sweet hero and my son. Hug your kids today in honor of Matthew.

Peace be with you.

Psychological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

It’s not defiance.
It’s demand sensitivity.

Some students aren’t avoiding work.
They’re avoiding the feeling of overwhelm.

For certain nervous systems, even ordinary requests can trigger threat.

“Start.”
“Come here.”
“Turn it in.”

When pressure rises, resistance rises.

The shift:

Lower the intensity of the demand.
Offer choice.
Lead with collaboration.

This isn’t permissiveness.
It’s strategic nervous system support.

When threat drops, compliance increases.

Cold weather isn’t just uncomfortable for some kids (and adults).
It can be sensory overwhelming.

Think about what winter brings:

• Scratchy layers and tight coats
• Cold air that feels sharp on skin
• Bright glare off snow
• Loud heaters, wind, and crowded indoor spaces
• Disrupted routines

For someone with sensory differences, that’s a full-body experience.

And when regulation drops, behavior often rises.

But here’s the shift:

It’s not defiance.
It’s a nervous system working overtime.

What helps:

✔️ Let them choose base layers (soft, tagless, predictable fabrics)
✔️ Warm up the car before transitions
✔️ Sunglasses for snow glare
✔️ Shorter outdoor bursts with movement breaks
✔️ Build in heavy work indoors (wall pushes, laundry baskets, stair carries)
✔️ Create a cozy reset space at home

Winter requires more regulation support — not more discipline.

If behavior feels “bigger” this season, look at the sensory load first.

The goal isn’t to toughen them up.
It’s to help their nervous system feel safe enough to function.

—
If this resonates, share it with another parent or educator who needs the reminder.

What an honor it has been over the past few days for Sensory Smart Classrooms and Beyond! First, we were in Hollywood at the Inclusion Matters by Shane's Inspiration Annual Gala! SensorySmart Classrooms was spotlighted for the work we are doing to promote inclusion.

Now we are at the Alabama CASE conference and directors are coming by to have their books signed! We are humbled!

I lost Matthew in 2021. He taught me more about Sensory Processing and how to live more than anything else. My son, Ryan, is going through a difficult time with the loss of his job.

Where does he go for peace and reflection? The bench that I dedicated to celebrate the life of Matthew. What does this tell me? Matthew is still here in spirit. Some of the biggest sensory changes are in typically developing people. And that sometimes sensory input that is difficult to process is eerily silent.

I will be addressing this in Sensory Smart Parenting. Hugs to all.

Before you try another strategy tomorrow…

Pause.

If a student shuts down, argues, avoids, melts down, or goes quiet —Ask this first:

👉 What is their sensory system processing right now?

Because the nervous system responds to sensory input before it responds to instruction.

Noise. Movement. Lighting. Touch. Transitions. Social demands.

When sensory input overwhelms the nervous system, behavior becomes protection.

Not defiance.
Not disrespect.
Not manipulation.

Protection.

In sensory-smart classrooms, we don’t start with control.
We start with understanding how sensory processing is shaping regulation in that moment.

When you lower sensory load, you often lower behavior.

And when regulation improves, learning follows.

If this resonates, comment SENSORY below.
I’ll share one practical shift you can try tomorrow.