Rising Phoenix Postpartum Care

In pregnancy, birth, and postpartum I became like a phoenix — I went through times that felt like death, rebirth, and learning to rise again as a new person. Even with my second baby, I have changed so much.

I love how in many stories the phoenix keeps its essential core. Even when it burns to ashes, the phoenix that rises is essentially the same one, just a different version. Even with all I have gone through, I am still the same person at my core.

I can’t think of anything more painful, beautiful, and worthwhile than choosing to go through this life/death/life cycle. There are so many other experiences that transform people but I am fascinated with the transformations that can happen in the years surrounding the birth of a baby.

                       gnancy       

2021-2022 Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum with Vinny. They have transformed me.

This pregnancy challenged me so much more than my first. I had learned how to surrender through giving birth the first time so I let myself fall to that place over and over through the ongoing sickness, gripping anxiety, losing my therapist, and the long process of finding someone new who could help me through it all.

The birth was magical and mystical and surprised me so much. My water broke right after midnight on my husband’s birthday, 6 days before the due date. I never knew how giddy I would feel, ready to give birth as I stared at our Christmas lights. I was ready for a difficult time but I was amazed at how relatively easy this one seemed. So many things fell into place: the birth center, our midwife, my husband, our doula, all the preparation. I was in sync with our baby and we were safe. We worked together to have a water birth and it was beautiful.

There was also a moment of fear. He didn’t cry at first and that scared me. He had to get a little help breathing and that triggered my anxiety. Postpartum was full of joy and love and support and also chaotic emotions and not being able to relax. I felt resentful and angry, the things I hadn’t resolved before came bubbling up. Sleep was a struggle (Vinny’s and mine). I felt like I should know how to do everything better. I felt like a failure to my older child. I lived in survival mode and had regular break-downs, especially when my husband’s mental health got worse for a while. I also learned how to take care of myself better. We did couples therapy. We worked through some deep issues together. I learned to believe in myself and trust myself more.

It’s not a perfect easy path from here, now that Vinny is 1. The labyrinth of parenthood and life will continue, of course. The last two years have been full of becoming more of myself and I am so grateful for the many many people who have helped me find my way.

Meet my whole family!! They make me laugh every day and teach me so much.

Daniel is my amazing neuroscientist/brain coach husband. He is super logical (which keeps me grounded haha), he is great at prioritizing, and he loves to learn and have fun.

Brooke is our silly, energetic, chatty 3 year-old who will be getting glasses soon! I love how she helps me slow down to enjoy life, even if she tests my patience sometimes. She loves cars and people.

We are definitely not perfect, but I love that we are creating something wonderful together... a culture of kindness, learning, and fun.

Ever since I started my business back in September, it has been amazing to see how the timing of everything has worked out so well.

I am grateful for the opportunity to know this amazing family and all the families I have worked with!! I am honored that I got to be a part of your journey.

Who am I here to help??

I want to share my gifts with women who have experienced loss and/or those impacted by trauma or mental health challenges.

Giving birth and being a parent can be an amazing journey of joy and growth, but if we are in a perpetual state of struggle and survival, it is hard to grow stronger.

What I think is the key to making a smooth adjustment and making positive growth is having enough support. When OUR needs are met and we feel balanced as a person, we can be the parents we want to be and everyone can thrive.

My ultimate goal is to help moms and families be healthier so we can all thrive on our planet, so there can be less trauma and oppression and a lot more love.

Meet my amazing doula friend, Hanan (pronounced HUH-non). She is passionate about educating parents and supporting women as they give birth.

I am inspired by Hanan's wealth of wisdom and knowledge about birth! I also love her compassion, patience, and generosity as a person.

Check out her page at if you are looking for a childbirth education class and/or if you want her to be your doula! 🌟

Think of all the physical work we do as moms, especially when our babies are little and need to be held, fed, and comforted around the clock! 🍼🤱😴

It is SO important for us to make sure we are nurturing and caring for ourselves so we can have enough energy and avoid burnout. 😪

Massages can help reduce stress, support our physical recovery, improve sleep, and restore us from all the emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion we experience.

Utah Pregnancy Massage Care is one of the only places in Utah that specializes in pregnancy and postpartum massage. Eva, the owner and massage therapist, is passionate about helping moms to have a more relaxing, pain-free, and enjoyable pregnancy and postpartum period.

When I give myself the gift of a massage it's like I'm reminding myself that I matter and my needs matter. When I go back to being a mom, I feel recharged and refreshed.

Follow .pregnancy.massage to get more info!!

When I have funny moments like these with Brooke, it makes me want to go back to my struggling brand-new-mom self and tell her a few things...

• Just because it feels like this stage might last FOREVER, I promise that it won't always be so hard. One day you will cry in joy because you're so glad you get to be this girl's mama.

• I know you're worried about your relationship and bond with your baby, but as long as you keep trying and get support, it's all going to be okay.

• You are good enough. You know enough. You are doing so much and it will be worth it.

• These growing pains will lead you on the most amazing healing journey. Trust yourself and trust that you will receive all the help you need on your way.

To any moms who are going through tough challenges (we all are in some way)--imagine yourself in three or five years and imagine what your future self might tell you. 💕

Learning about matrescence was a turning point for me during my postpartum struggles.

How is matrescence going for you??

This process encompasses all of the physical, psychological, and emotional changes we go through after becoming a mom. I hope you will have lots and lots of compassion for yourself (even if you have been a mom for a while) because we are all still learning and it can be so hard. ❤❤❤

Look up the TED talk about it by Alexandra Sacks if you want to learn more!!

Thank you .podcast for this beautiful definition! 😍

My postpartum journey began about 3 years ago when our beautiful daughter Brooke was born. 👶

Having a tiny baby triggered a lot of anxiety and perfectionist tendencies. I wanted to do everything and make sure EVERYthing was perfect for her. This led to burnout, exhaustion, and depression starting somewhere around month 3 (which then got a lot worse around month 6).

Motherhood also triggered PTSD symptoms that were caused by some severe trauma I experienced as a child. With all of these things combined, I had a REALLY rough time. I was devastated. I felt like a failure and I often felt hopeless that it could ever getting better.

Over time and through a lot of support (trauma therapy, support groups, friends, medication, meditation, exercise, and child care help), I was able to rise from the ashes. Over the last 3 years I have transformed into a more refined, compassionate, strong, and wise version of myself. I now enjoy motherhood so much more and I know I am a good enough mom.

Know that whatever you're going through, there IS hope. Things CAN get better. As a postpartum doula I bring the gift of my understanding, compassion, and confidence that you will find your way. 💗

One of the things I focus on while I’m helping my clients is giving them the gift of my full presence—to be with them fully, to listen and be with them where they’re at.

During my postpartum struggles and emotional healing the thing that helped the most was to have a therapist, doula, and friends who really sat with me in my pain and witnessed me. It was and continues to be the most healing and loving thing I have experienced.

What it taught me is that ultimately I have the wisdom and strength to find my way. That is true for anyone wading through the transition of having a baby or any kind of struggle. So I ask questions and offer ideas if that's what they want, but mostly, I help my clients tap into their own wisdom.

It is SO important for us to take care of ourselves as moms, especially during the Fourth Trimester.

Investing in a postpartum doula is super valuable because...

💙 You don't have to spend as much time trying to figure everything out on your own (baby care, feeding, sleep, sibling adjustments, etc)

💙 You can get more sleep and self care time, making it easier to bond with your baby.

💙 You can receive emotional support so you can process all the big changes and feel more balanced.

💙 It sets you up for a smoother, healthier, and happier parenting journey!