Just Jocelyn Coaching

Happy Saturday!

When your children become adults, your only job is to love them.

Just love them.

That’s it❤️

Have you tried everything you could think of to get rid of your anxiety?

Chances are it hasn’t worked.

Sure- there are tricks and tools that you can use to take the edge off.

And I’m all in on using them, but more often than not they don’t CURE your anxiety.

Like a beach ball held under the water, anxiety gets worse when we try to push it away and resist it.

It might work for a bit, but pressure builds and eventually explodes with full force.

The way to ease your anxiety, my friends is to get really GOOD at having anxiety.

Like anything else, the better you get at it the less intimidating and scary that it is.

Because if you’re a human, chances are at some point in your life you are going to experience anxiety.

Nothing is wrong with you.

You are just a human in the world experiencing the emotion of anxiety.

Talk to your anxiety. “ Hey there anxiety. I see you and I know what you’re trying to do.”

Get out of your head and into your body for a minute.

What does it feel like IN YOUR BODY to have anxiety?

Does it make you hot, cold, sweaty, clammy?

Does it sit on your chest or move around?

If it were a color- what color would it be?

I know it sounds silly, but this calms the spinning thoughts that are creating much of the anxiety in the first place.

Imagine how much easier it would be to have anxiety if you were just a pro at it.

It can’t hurt you.

It’s just a vibration in your body.

You were designed to have anxiety at times.

When we try to run from anxiety, it tends to want to chase us.

You simply can’t go around anxiety.

The shortest way to the other side is right down the middle.

Spend some time wanting something that you already have.

Feels sooo good.

“You find peace not be rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.”
Elkhart Tolle

I could give you 10 reasons why I don’t look good in this picture.

But I won’t because I broke up with that way of thinking.

Years ago, I just decided to like all the pictures taken of me.

Even the ones where my tummy is showing more than I thought it would.

Even the ones where my face is scrunched and my wrinkles are showing.

Even the ones with weird hair and strange expressions. Even the ones where my whole head didn’t quite make it in the frame.

All of them.

I just decided that in that moment that’s what I looked like and I like me.

All of me.

Even the parts that aren’t that photogenic.

And you know what? It’s so much more fun than picking myself apart.

I would never look at a picture of my children or my grandchildren and think “Wow they sure look terrible there.”

I see their faces and just feel love.

Turns out, it is possible to choose to feel the same way about yourself.

In my head it sounds like, “Oh there I am just doing my best at being a human. I love me for that.”

A picture never captures the true beauty of something. And the same is true for you. The enormity of your beauty will never shine through the camera.

So, YES to every moment captured.

YES to all of me.

Feels soooo much better.

Won’t you join me?

If it isn’t good than it must be bad.

If it isn’t full than it must be empty.

If you aren’t perfect than you must be a wreck.

Have you ever noticed how our brains love all or nothing thinking?

Our brains like to tell us that there are only two options.

Do you know why?

Because it’s easy and efficient. It’s a way for our brains to quickly organize and compartmentalize information.

But if you imagine these two extremes on a continuum there are likely hundreds of options in between.

If thinking either of the extremes is true doesn’t make you feel the way you want to feel, try finding an option in the middle that makes you feel calm, acceptance, love for yourself and abundance.

Then moving forward from these emotions will be so much easier.

For example, if thinking “I always finish what I start” doesn’t feel true to you and the opposite “I never finish anything that I start” only leaves you feeling shame (which is never useful) go to a thought in the middle.

It might sound like, “ I finish tons of stuff all day long. I finished getting dressed, going to work, making dinner…….And some of my projects I haven’t finished yet and I may never finish them and that’s OK. Or maybe I will and that’s OK too.”

Don’t keep sending yourself all the way back to the start line.

The quickest way to get to the finish line is to start in the middle.

Find your middle and let’s go.

Do you know how you can tell what other people think of you?

It’s easy…….you just make it up.

That’s what I do.

I believe that I’m a good friend. I believe that I’m fun to be around. I believe that I am liked. I believe that I am interesting. I believe that I am loyal. I believe that I have tools that can help women improve their lives.

And do you know what happens? My amazing brain goes to work gathering evidence to prove it true.

That’s how the system works. Did you know this?

You think a thought and your brain which ALWAYS wants to be right starts collecting evidence to prove it true.

Most of us try to gather evidence first in an effort to believe. But it is the belief that must come first and then the evidence.

And then, here’s the best part - your actions begin to align with your belief.

When I believe that I am fun to be around, I show up with a sense of fun making me much more fun to be around. When I believe that I am a good friend I show up the way a good friend would show up because that’s who I believe that I am.

You get the idea.

It’s like the snowball effect. The more that you believe, the more evidence your brain will collect and the more your actions will align with that belief.

Whatever you are thinking about yourself, in the end you will make it true.

I know this sounds kind of scary because we all have insecure thoughts at times. But thanks to your pre-frontal cortex, you have the ability to redirect your brain and practice believing the very things you want to be true.

I honestly don’t know what other people think of me….Its actually none of my business.

But I don’t need to know because I just get to decide.

You just get to decide too.

It’s a beautiful system, use it to your advantage.

Did you know that you can feel close and connected to your children no matter how far away they live?

That’s because the relationship that you have with your loved ones lives in your mind.

It comes from the thoughts that you think about them and the thoughts that you think about yourself in relation to them.

Connection comes from your thoughts not your proximity to someone.

Do you know how I know?

Because two people can be sitting right next to each other and feel completely disconnected because of what they’re thinking about the other person and themselves.

I love that it works like this!

You can feel close, connected and loving toward others by simply choosing to think thoughts that make you feel that way.

No matter where they are.

They don’t have to live near you.

They don’t have to call you each day.

They don’t have to like all the same things.

They don’t have to vote like you.

THEY don’t have to do anything at all.

And you can feel close to them anytime that you want to.

No map required.

Today was a great day because (fill in the blank.)

Isn’t it amazing how the right questions send our brains searching in the right direction.

Because our brains always want to be right, they will gather evidence to prove our thoughts true.

Give your brain a minute or two and I promise you will be able to fill in the blank.

So, that’s just good to know.

What evidence do you want to spend time collecting today?