05/09/2024
I’d write out my thoughts in my notes app, edit it, edit it some more, try and read it from every angle to make sure it couldn’t be perceived negatively, rehearse what I was gonna say like I was giving a speech in front of hundreds and *then* I would send that text or have the conversation.
I didn’t trust my inner guidance or intuition.
I felt like every request I made was “too much” or made me “too needy.”
When we first started dating he went on a long backpacking trip and was gone for 2 months. (This is not outside the norm for him, but it was a first for me in our new relationship).
I could feel myself getting anxious as the time for him to leave drew near (Hello to my anxious attachment style. I see you 👀).
So, I did what I did. I wrote it down, rehearsed what I needed to say & then had a conversation before he left.
I honestly don’t remember exactly how the initial conversation went but it was obvious that I felt like I needed to further explain myself after he had been gone for a few days…. I found this in my notes app today. (Swipe to see the screenshot)
Listen my friend, most of us just aren’t taught how to do relationship. We observe, we experience, we guess, we repeat Patterns that we saw growing up and a lot of it is just plain messy.
Part of having a healthy and thriving relationship is….
🫶 Self-awareness (understanding why you do the things you do)
❤️🔥 Making conscious decisions & taking aligned action to create change when needed (Break your Patterns)
💋 Making agreements (working together to help each other feel safe and secure).
Since that first trip we have had many chances to be apart. And guess what…. I feel connected to him no matter where we are or how long we are apart because I asked for what I need while we are apart (and so has he), we have agreements that support us, and we work together as a team.
But it started with understanding myself and what I wanted and needed (and why) first and foremost.
I’m teaching one of the most influential things I’ve ever learned on my relationship journey next month.
Save the date for Monday 13th - Imma share all the details with you.
I see you. I hear you. I love you.