Dr Brandi Colding

Dr Brandi Colding Trauma resources and workbooks. Educational content for trauma, nervous system regulation, and attachment. Located in Franklin, Virginia

Check out my podcast on YouTube: Inside the Pattern, first episode to be released July 1st!

09/09/2026

Sometimes “I’m confused about what I want” is less about not knowing and more about wanting the attachment bond without the vulnerability, consistency, or commitment that comes with it.

They may want closeness when they feel you pulling away, but distance when emotional intimacy is actually required. That push-pull dynamic can keep you attached because you’re constantly waiting for the connection to feel secure.

Wanting access to you isn’t the same as being available for a relationship with you. 🫠

09/06/2026

Therapist: “And how did that make you feel?”

Also therapist internally: I have 47 follow-up questions and none of them are clinically neutral.

09/03/2026

I would like to formally appeal. 🤣🤣🤣

09/03/2026

I have updates 🫣💀

08/31/2026

We’re often taught that butterflies mean “this person is special.” But sometimes that intense feeling is your nervous system recognizing something familiar.

And familiar doesn’t always mean healthy.

If you have an anxious attachment style or a history of inconsistent relationships, emotional unpredictability can sometimes feel like chemistry because your nervous system is activated.

That doesn’t mean butterflies are automatically a red flag. Attraction can absolutely feel exciting.

The important part is learning to slow down enough to ask:

Do I actually like this person?
Do I feel safe being myself around them?
Are they consistent and emotionally available?
Do I like who they’re showing themselves to be—or am I attached to how intensely they make me feel?

Sometimes the person who gives you the biggest butterflies isn’t the person who is the best fit for you.

And sometimes healthy chemistry feels less like anxiety and more like interest, safety, curiosity, and connection. 🫶🏼

Have you ever confused anxiety for chemistry?

08/26/2026

Having an anxious attachment style doesn’t mean you stop getting activated once you’re in a healthy relationship. 🫶🏼

Sometimes my nervous system still reacts to things that feel familiar—even when the relationship itself is safe.

The healing isn’t necessarily “I never get triggered anymore.” It’s learning to recognize the activation, pause before reacting, reality-check the story my nervous system is telling me, and give myself the opportunity to respond differently.

Being triggered doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with the relationship. Sometimes it means something in me needs tending to.

Healing is learning the difference. 🤍

08/25/2026

Sometimes what feels like chemistry is actually hypervigilance.

The uncertainty, the inconsistency, the moments of closeness followed by distance—it can create an intensity that feels impossible to stop thinking about.

But intensity isn’t always intimacy. Sometimes your nervous system is just trying to predict what happens next.

Have you ever confused anxiety for chemistry? Because sometimes the person who gives you butterflies is actually the person keeping your nervous system on high alert.

For privacy and confidentiality, this post is intentionally generic and does not describe or refer to any specific client, person, or event. It is shared for educational purposes only.

08/24/2026

What’s something you wish more people understood about therapy?

For privacy and confidentiality, this post is intentionally generic and does not describe any specific client, person, or event. It is shared for educational purposes only.

08/24/2026

The way I have to process what my clients have been told before I can respond professionally. 🫠

08/20/2026

Sometimes the smallest comments tell us the biggest stories. 👀

The things you casually dismiss as “no big deal” can sometimes give your therapist important clues about what you learned, what you survived, and what still hurts.

And no—you don’t have to be ready to unpack it the second you say it. Your therapist can remember it until you’re ready. 🤍

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