Aging with a Plan, PLLC

Moving a parent into a senior living community is one of the hardest decisions many dementia caregivers will ever make.

Yet so many caregivers carry the belief that this means they’ve failed or abandoned them.

The truth is, two things can be true at the same time:

You can feel heartbreaking grief and guilt

AND

still be making the best decision for both your parent’s safety and your own wellbeing.

Choosing memory care placement doesn’t mean you’re giving up.

Sometimes, it’s recognizing that one person can no longer safely meet another person’s growing care needs alone.

If you’re carrying guilt about this decision, I hope you’ll remember that needing more support doesn’t mean you love your parent any less.

SAVE this for the days guilt tries to convince you you’ve made the wrong decision.

And if you know another dementia caregiver who needs this reminder, please share it with them.

➡ Follow Dementia Caregiver Therapist | Jenna Rumberger, LICSW for mental health support for dementia caregivers.

How many times has someone told you, “You need to take care of yourself.”

Most dementia caregivers have heard this advice more times than they can count.

The problem? Most people stop there.

They don’t see the appointments, medication management, difficult behaviors, constant decision making, or the guilt that creeps in the moment you try to step away.

Taking care of yourself isn’t hard because you don’t know it’s important.

It’s hard because you love someone deeply, carry an enormous sense of responsibility, and rarely feel truly “off duty.”

So if you need the reminder today:

Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish.

It doesn’t mean you love your person any less.

It helps you care in a way that’s more sustainable for both you and your loved one.

If you’re caring for someone living with dementia, what’s one piece of advice you’re tired of hearing? Let me know in the comments💜⤵️

➡ Follow Dementia Caregiver Therapist | Jenna Rumberger, LICSW for mental health support and practical guidance for dementia caregivers.

.
.

Dementia caregiving can make you feel guilty no matter what you do.

Needing a break.

Not visiting enough.

Feeling frustrated.

Considering a move to a memory care community.

Wondering if you’re doing enough.

But guilt doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong.

I created this free guide to help you make sense of where your guilt may be coming from, with simple reframes to help you be more compassionate toward yourself.

Facebook friends: Please click here to find your free guide: https://www.agingwithaplan.org/free-guide-for-dementia-caregivers

➡ Follow Dementia Caregiver Therapist | Jenna Rumberger, LICSW for mental health support and practical guidance for dementia caregivers.

.
.

Listen, dementia caregiving is complicated!

You can care deeply for your parent and still feel resentful.

You can know a care community is the right decision and still feel guilty.

You can still want a life of your own outside of caregiving.

None of these things cancel each other out.

Hi, I’m Jenna! As a licensed therapist who specializes in supporting dementia caregivers, there’s one thing I come back to again and again:

your mental health matters, too 💚

What’s one dementia caregiving “hill” you would add to this list? ⤵️

➡️ Follow Dementia Caregiver Therapist | Jenna Rumberger, LICSW for mental health support for dementia caregivers.

Website: www.agingwithaplan.org

Does this sound familiar to you ⤵️

If your heart drops every time your parent living with dementia calls, there may be a reason.

Dementia caregiving can put you in a constant state of anticipating the next problem.

Is Mom okay? Did she take her medication? Did she fall? Is she confused? Is this the call where something has changed?

Over time, you may start feeling like you always need to be “on”: watching, checking, planning, and trying to stay one step ahead.

That kind of hypervigilance can show up as:
→ Feeling anxious when your phone rings
→ Checking on your parent repeatedly
→ Having trouble relaxing when things are actually okay
→ Mentally running through everything that could go wrong
→ Feeling responsible for preventing every possible crisis

You may not be able to eliminate anxiety and uncertainty from dementia caregiving.

But you can start noticing when your brain is responding to a *possible* emergency as though it’s already happening.

The next time you notice that surge of anxiety, try asking yourself:

✨”Is something wrong right now, or am I afraid something might go wrong?”

That distinction won’t make caregiving predictable, but it can help you come back to what actually needs your attention right now.

SHARE this with a dementia caregiver who needs this reminder!

➡️Follow Dementia Caregiver Therapist | Jenna Rumberger, LICSW for mental health support for dementia caregivers.

Website: www.agingwithaplan.org