The Schools Oregon Students Deserve

The most effective—but unpopular—way to raise happy kids, says Ivy League child psychologist Parents often have trouble accepting that "children are allowed to be angry, sad, unhappy," says Barnard College child psychologist Tovah Klein.

"Caring human beings are the best therapeutic tools for children who are suffering..." - Mona Delahooke

Sketchnote via

'All work, no independent play' cause of children's declining mental health A new study suggests the rise in mental health disorders in children and teens is attributed to a decline over decades in opportunities for them to play, roam and engage in activities independent of direct oversight and control by adults. Although well intended, adults' drive to guide and protect ch...

Literature ambassador Jason Reynolds knows young people have a story of their own - MindShift NPR's A Martínez talks to writer Jason Reynolds, who is ending his term as the national ambassador for young people's literature.

The Way We Teach Math Is All Wrong According to experts, methods of math instruction used in schools actually creates math anxiety and inhibits wide-ranging math proficiency. How can we do better?

We love this! 😍

is tomorrow, Feb 1. Here are 6 great reasons to read aloud to kids, from writer and illustrator Jarrett Lerner.

Volunteering as a family is a wonderful way to help children develop empathy and compassion. It also shows them that they have the power to impact their community.

11+ Kid-Friendly Volunteer Opportunities in Portland Opportunities for giving back (with kids) in Portland.

Min Jee’s Lunch When a classmate says Min Jee’s Korean lunch is “how everyone got sick,” will her friends speak up?

How much time for nothing have you set aside today?

Our parents and grandparents saw leisure time as a gift, with free time spent on enjoyment or rest. Today we instead have the growing phenomenon of “ociofobia” (loosely translated as “leisurephobia”), recognised by psychologist Rafael Santandreu. It describes the contemporary problem of people not knowing how to enjoy free time, which has led to a rise in related psychiatric consultations.

Some people feel a sense of panic when they are faced with free time, or with the possibility of getting . Anxiety can arise when confronted with a slot of time where no activity has been programmed. People with ociofobia are strongly influenced by concepts of efficiency and productivity, and they value achievement and success above happiness. For these people, achievement is quantitative rather than qualitative, and they certainly do not consider the lost opportunity cost created when a person finds no time for self.

Research has shown that creativity and dreams about the future are mostly experienced in the gentle moments when we relax. Brigid Schulte, author of ‘Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time,’ refers to this when she writes— “ is finding that when we are idle, in leisure, our are most active. The Default Mode Network lights up, which, like airport hubs, connects parts of our brain that don't typically communicate. So a stray thought, a random memory, an image can combine in novel ways to produce novel ideas.”

Yet the ‘ideology of busyness’ is still starkly apparent in the popular ‘tiger’ parenting style, and in how values about efficient use of limited time are transmitted from parent to child. Evidence of this can be seen in blocked-out family schedules and endless extracurricular activities. Not considered is the fact that idle minds are actually more productive than busy ones, as claimed by Santandreu. Indeed, preeminent novelist Cervantes wrote Don Quijote as he daydreamed around Castile, transforming modern day concepts of language and universal literature. His work is the most-translated after the bible, yet his industrious work as a tax collector paid no such meaningful dividends to himself or to the world.

Even without an extreme diagnosis of ociofobia, it is important for each of us to note the pervasive attitudes that hint towards over-valuing of busyness within our own family units. It is a modern phenomena. When we do not let our children experience , we are quietly passing down non-optimal values to the next generation.
It can also be useful to reflect on your own as a busy parent. If you are in service to your family 24/7, driving your children, creating income, keeping house, running errands and meeting social expectations... what are you subconsciously communicating to your family? —about the value of busyness? —about the value of your own mental space? —and about how you value your own for creation or dreaming?

That is your food for thought today. It is up to you whether you find the spare time to consider it.

✨Come meet the team: https://neuroecosystem.com/about/

✨Volunteer with us by signing up here: https://forms.neuroecosystem.com/Private/WorkWithUs



[ID: a girl is seen laying down cradling a nearly glowing Earth with her arm. Her eyes are closed, dreaming. The words “We all need empty hours in our lives or we will have no time to create or dream.” –Robert Cole is written on top of the image.]

The ‘had more fun playing with the cardboard box’ is a fairly common Christmas gag, but the harsher reality is that Christmas often means that; having crafted the most perfect day or most perfect moment for our kids; it can be crushing when they don’t engage in all things festive in the way we were hoping for.

There’s a lesson about little brains when they have ‘more fun playing with the box;’ children’s innate desire to play, imagine and create doesn’t go away just because it’s Christmas, or because of the story behind the present that was inside. Whether we are a grown-up or a child, the most basic functions in our brain don't change according to the holiday. And yet just the response to the gifts can so easily threaten to get this much-longed-for day off to a really bad start. So here are three perspectives that can help Christmas be, if not perfect, not so testing that you can’t wait for it to just all be over.

🎄Be Realistic About Gratitude and Appreciation
When our kids tear through one present after another, barely acknowledging the love, effort (or money!) involved, and then give you a version of ‘unsatisfied;’ it can feel very personal. And nothing brings the discontent about raising an ‘ungrateful child’ to the surface like an ungrateful child at Christmas. For the sake of not spending your day frustrated or hurt, hold in mind that it takes a fair bit of knowledge, a refined perspective and a maturity unusual in most children to reflect on how many kids in the world ‘get nothing at Christmas’, or have no home, or no parents to love them etc. While cultivating gratitude, and empathy for those less fortunate, is important, children are much more in-the-moment creatures than us; especially when they have had so little involvement in all the planning. Rather than setting unrealistic expectations for them to join you in your reality, try and join them in theirs. There are, after all, another 364 days to connect with the generosity and sit in appreciation before you do this again.

🎄Can Children Have Too Much Fun?
It’s not just emotions like stress, anger, or sadness that can be overwhelming, but joy and excitement too, especially for younger children who haven’t yet mastered the skills of self-regulation. This often shows up as our kids appearing obnoxious, which of course they sometimes are….

But snappiness, impatience and hostility are usually a sign that their brain’s ‘fight or flight’ response is over-aroused, in which case they have very little - if any, at all - awareness about how they’re coming across to others. Thus it doesn’t take much at all; especially an accusation of ‘being rude’ or being told to ‘stop being X,Y,Z’; to flip their lid. Nobody wins. A ‘bad attitude’ is rarely their intention, and it tends to be kinder all round to respond to them as a child needing help with a problem, more than being a problem.

Christmas can still be a day when our children have the most fun, but moderating it isn’t stingy. Little brains can only take so much excitation (especially because they’re not dampening it down with something boozy), so allow for some down time, quiet time, a bit of ‘just like every other day’ time.

It will help balance their brain chemistry and keep the Fight-Flight response in check. But if Fight-Flight does happen, it doesn’t have to hijack the day. Make time and space for adrenaline to drain away (ideally an hour), otherwise your child’s brain will just be waiting for the most trivial reason to blow again.

🎄Lead With intent, Not Expectation
Another curse of Christmas is the pressure we put upon ourselves, and everyone else; to have the most joyful day, for nobody to argue, to cook the most delicious meal anyone has EVER eaten etc. But everything I just told you about your child’s brain applies to yours too. Go back and read it again, through the lens of being a grown-up, not just your child. Because even if your children are having an amazing day, if you’re stressed, they’ll still pick up on your vibes. You’re prickly, they get prickly, and eventually it becomes an invitation for all of our hopes and dreams and careful planning to be sabotaged by misbehaving brains!

🎄What do you want you and your kids to remember? Intentionally stay in that space. Intent is where your power is. Intend to have a good day. Intend to be realistic. Intend to deal with any problems, if, as and when they arise, and to be present; then you can just move on if that happens.

And intend to just go with the moment occasionally; even if that means going off plan. Because that’s what the box says…

💥Brought to you by one of Neurochild's Brain Trust, Jo Stockdale with Well Within Reach https://wellwithinreach.co.uk/about-us-2/about-well-within-reach/

✨If you would like to receive our newsletter, which will have exciting new details about our community sign up here: https://bit.ly/neuro-newsletter

✨Volunteer with us by signing up here: https://forms.neuroecosystem.com/Private/WorkWithUs



[ID: two young toddlers are seen beside a decorated tree in fancy clothes. They are picking up sparkly balls in a pile. The words “Little brains can only take so much excitation, so allow for some down time, quiet time, a bit of ‘just like every other day’ time. It will help balance their brain chemistry and keep the Fight-Flight response in check.” –Jo Stockdale is written on top of the image.]