School Counselor Mama

08/25/2026

I’m not anti-best friend. ❤️ I’m anti-making kids feel like they’re supposed to have one.

Especially in elementary school, friendships are constantly shifting. Kids are figuring out who they connect with, what kind of friend they want to be, and what actually makes a friendship feel good.

When we constantly ask, “Who’s your best friend?” we can unintentionally make friendship feel like a ranking system—or make a child who doesn’t have one designated best friend wonder if something is wrong.

Instead, I want kids noticing:

Who makes me feel included?
Who can I be myself around?
Who is kind to me?
Who do I have fun with?
Who can I trust?

And just as importantly—am I being that kind of friend to other people?

A child can have a recess friend, a sports friend, a neighbor friend, a friend they laugh with, and a friend they confide in.

They all count. ❤️

Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment “HONEST” and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already have it and ready for the next level? Comment “OPEN” for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!!

Follow Amy Miller, MS | Professional School Counselor | Mom for more on friendships, big feelings, and raising kids who actually talk to you.

08/24/2026

“Just ignore them” isn’t bad advice—it’s just incomplete.

Kids need to learn that different situations call for different responses: sometimes we walk away, sometimes we speak up, and sometimes we get help.

The goal isn’t to handle everything alone. It’s knowing what to do next. ❤️

Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment “HONEST” and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already have it and ready for the next level? Comment “OPEN” for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!

08/22/2026

If you want your kid to talk to you more, sometimes the answer is to stop trying so hard to get them to talk.

Especially as kids get older, sitting them down face-to-face and asking:

“How was school?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Are you okay?”
“Why aren’t you talking to me?”

…can feel like a LOT of pressure.

Instead, try talking side-by-side.

In the car.
Walking the dog.
Making dinner.
Shooting hoops.
Coloring or building something.
Lying next to them at bedtime.

When the conversation isn’t the main event, kids may feel less like they’re being questioned and more like they’re simply spending time with you.

And then, sometimes, the little things start coming out.

A comment about recess.
Something a friend said.
A worry about tomorrow.
A mistake they made.
Something that’s been bothering them for days.

You don’t have to turn every one of those moments into a BIG conversation.

Listen.
Stay curious.
Try not to immediately fix it.
And keep making space for the next one.

Because getting your child to open up isn’t about finding the perfect question.

It’s about building a relationship where they know they can tell you the truth when they’re ready.

*** Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment ‘honest’ and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already got it and ready for the next level? Comment ‘open’ for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!! ***

08/21/2026

08/21/2026

Want to raise a resilient kid? Start with what happens when things get hard.

Resilience isn’t about teaching kids to toughen up or stop having big feelings.

It’s teaching them that they can feel frustrated, disappointed, embarrassed, nervous—or completely fed up—and still talk about it, work through it, and figure out what comes next.

And that starts with us.

When we stay curious instead of immediately fixing…
When we make room for uncomfortable feelings instead of talking them out of them…
When we remind them that struggling doesn’t mean they’re failing…

We’re teaching them something bigger:

Hard feelings are safe to talk about.
Hard things are safe to try.
And you don’t have to handle either one alone.

That’s where resilience grows. ❤️

Save these phrases for the next time your child wants to give up.

Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment ‘honest’ and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already got it and ready for the next level? Comment ‘open’ for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!!

08/20/2026

I will always protect my kids.

But protecting them doesn’t mean making sure nothing hard ever happens to them.

There’s a difference between danger and discomfort.

Failure is uncomfortable.
Being disappointed is uncomfortable.
Not making the team is uncomfortable.
Getting a bad grade is uncomfortable.
Solving a problem with a friend is uncomfortable.
Trying something you might not be good at is uncomfortable.

And our instinct as parents is often to jump in.

Fix it.
Call someone.
Make it easier.
Give them the answer.
Take away the struggle.

But those little struggles are where kids get evidence that says:

“I did something hard.”
“I figured it out.”
“I messed up and recovered.”
“I can handle this.”

That’s what I love about the lighthouse metaphor.

A lighthouse doesn’t remove the waves or steer the ship around every storm.

It stays steady and shows the way.

That’s the kind of safety I want to give my kids.

I’m here.
I’ll help when you truly need me.
I won’t let you navigate dangerous waters alone.

But I also believe you’re capable of learning how to steer.

Because our kids won’t build resilience by never facing hard things.

They build it by facing age-appropriate hard things with the security of knowing we’re still right there.

Protect them from harm.

Support them through struggle.

And give them enough space to discover just how capable they really are. ❤️

*** Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment ‘honest’ and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already got it and ready for the next level? Comment ‘open’ for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!! ***

08/19/2026

“Nobody played with me today” can absolutely mean your child was excluded.

But it can also mean:

My best friend played with someone else.
The game I wanted to play was already full.
Someone told me no.
I didn’t know how to join in.
I felt left out for part of recess.

Kids often tell us the emotional truth of what happened before they can give us the whole story.

So take the feeling seriously—but stay curious about the details.

Try: “That sounds like it really hurt. Tell me more about what happened.”

You’re not dismissing their experience. You’re helping them slow it down, make sense of it, and figure out what they might need next.

And sometimes, there really IS a bigger friendship problem that needs adult support. Curiosity helps us figure out the difference. ❤️

***Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment ‘honest’ and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already got it and ready for the next level? Comment ‘open’ for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!!***

08/18/2026

We sometimes think our job is to get kids to the point where they’re no longer nervous.

But that’s not always the goal.

If we wait for uncomfortable feelings to disappear before doing hard things, we accidentally teach kids that discomfort means stop.

Instead, we can validate what they’re feeling AND communicate confidence in their ability to handle it:

“I know this feels hard. And I know you can do hard things.”

“I believe you can handle feeling nervous.”

“You don’t have to feel ready to take the first step.”

This is how resilience gets built—not by removing discomfort, but by giving kids opportunities to discover that they can move through it.

And every time they do, they collect a little more evidence:

I was nervous. I did it anyway. And I was okay. ❤️

***Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment ‘honest’ and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already got it and ready for the next level? Comment ‘open’ for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!!***

08/17/2026

A tear-free goodbye isn’t the only sign of a successful drop-off. ❤️

Sometimes kids cry because separating from you is hard—not because school is unsafe or because they aren’t ready to be there.

And when we stay until the tears stop, keep coming back for one more hug, or try to convince them to feel better before we leave, we can unintentionally make the goodbye even harder.

Instead, keep your goodbye warm, predictable and confident.

Validate the feeling. Remind them what happens next. And follow through.

You’re sending an important message without having to say it:

“I know this is hard AND I trust that you can handle it.”

The goal isn’t to teach kids that hard feelings need to disappear before they can move forward.

It’s to help them learn that they can feel sad, miss us, say goodbye—and still be okay. ❤️

***Want help getting your kids to actually talk to you? Comment ‘honest’ and I’ll send you my free guide.

Already got it and ready for the next level? Comment ‘open’ for the full system to raise an emotionally open kid. I’ll DM you a discount code!!***

08/16/2026

We buy the supplies. We pick out the first-day outfit. We get the sleep schedule back on track.

But there’s another kind of back-to-school prep that matters just as much. ❤️

Kids need opportunities to think about friendships, remember who’s in their corner, build confidence, and talk about what’s on their mind—without us turning it into a big “HOW ARE YOU FEELING ABOUT SCHOOL?!” conversation.

That’s what I love about the Countdown to the First Day box from Milk & Coffee Kids.

It includes five surprise rituals to do together leading up to the first day of school. I’m purposely NOT telling you what’s inside (even though I really want to 😂), because the surprise is part of what makes it special.

Each one gives you a reason to slow down, do something side-by-side, and let those back-to-school conversations happen naturally.

And as a school counselor, THAT is the kind of school prep I can get behind. ❤️

Use code COUNSELORMAMA for 20% off at www.milkandcoffeekids.com

Milk & Coffee Kids