12/30/2023
I’ve had this conversation soooo many times 🙃 and it is important to speak up 💕
There's a recurring conversation I've had at least 100 times this year, and every time I have some version of this conversation I feel frustration, anger and shame related to the horse industry.
It goes something like this:
I meet a new person and they ask me what I do for a living.
I offer a short elevator speech about Unbridled (nature-based experiential learning with horses).
The person says, "Oh! Yes, I've heard of equine therapy. It helps many people."
Depending on the context of the conversation sometimes I take the time to explain that I'm not a therapist and what I offer is not therapy, but it IS very therapeutic.
Either way, after a pause, the other person oddly (and usually enthusiastically) starts telling me a story about some previous experience they had where a horse nipped them, bit them, kicked them, scared them, bucked them off, ran off with them or otherwise behaved "badly". The underlying message of the story is always that the horse was mean/naughty/aggressive/dangerous/grumpy, etc.
When the person is done telling their story I very matter-of-factly say that, in my experience, when horses "behave badly" it usually means they are experiencing some kind of pain, fear or discomfort and that they don't have any other way to tell the humans except through their behavior.
Nine times out of ten, this response initially elicits a blank stare, but I can literally see the wheels turning behind the person's eyes. They're desperately trying to align the information I just shared with their actual experience (or memory of the experience). I'd say that three quarters of the time the other person eventually shrugs and says something like, "Hmmmm. I never thought about it from that perspective. But, I really just think this particular horse was mean/grumpy/aggressive/naughty/pushy. Even the owner/trainer/instructor/responsible-adult-on-the-scene agreed this horse was evil."
Occasionally someone surprises me and says, "Wow. I never thought about it like that. You're probably right. How did you ever figure that out? You must be one of those horse whisperers". 🙄
Here's the thing: one person offering a dissenting opinion (especially after the fact) can never compete with an entire industry that's actively perpetuating lies about horses. If you're a horse owner or horse professional, people who don't spend time with horses will TAKE YOUR WORD AS GOSPEL, especially in regard to how you describe your own horses (or those in your care).
With great power and privilege comes great responsibility.
The next time you hear someone (anyone!) make a comment like this, I encourage you to PLEASE not just let it slide. And, PLEASE, PLEASE don't try to "one up them" with an even bigger horror story about an even more evil or naughty horse you've been hurt or scared by. It's not a human story-telling competition. And whenever we fail to embrace an opportunity to try and educate the general public about the true nature of horses, the biggest losers are always the horses.
Believe me, I know how much courage it takes to speak up. And I know a lot of people who don't speak up simply because they don't want to make the other person feel guilt or shame. Or they don't want to ruffle feathers. Or they're afraid they might be wrong.
Science is now fully behind us on this issue. Don't doubt yourself. And, yes, sometimes the truth hurts or makes people uncomfortable. But what hurts even more is when someone who COULD have told you the truth, doesn't.
So, I personally don't even care if you say your something nicely or not.
Just. say. something.
No one can stop the madness but us.
