09/16/2023
Yesterday afternoon my Grampa passed from Pancreatic Cancer. Although he had been suffering from Parkinson’s and Dementia the last couple years and was swiftly declining, it was still shocking to get the news about the Cancer last week and then have him be gone before I could even blink. I’m devastated.
Grandchildren get a version of their grandparents as people that no one else gets. I had a very special relationship with my Grampa that no one will ever fill for me. It’s frustrating that the grief I feel can never be understood by another person and that feels lonely. Even though we all lose loved ones and experience grief, even if it’s the same person we are grieving it’s still different for each of us because the relationship and experience we had with that person is unique to us.
My Grampa excelled at making friends with every person he met, whether they wanted to be friends or not. He constantly flipped the TV between two channels: Rodeo and Fishing. His favorite dessert was graham crackers crumbled in milk. He had a soft spot for cats even though he wouldn’t admit it. If there was a discarded bungee cord on the side of the freeway, you can bet your ass he was going to awkwardly park on the shoulder and go scoop it up like a prize. He had the best dry sense of humor that I took pride in matching and we cracked each other up with it. The way I rub my head when I’m thinking about how to respond to stupid questions came from him. :) He didn’t know it, but not a day went by that I didn’t think of him. Not one.
If you’re a person experiencing grief right now too, I’m sending you my love and even if I can’t relate to your unique loss, I can relate to how heavy loss feels and my heart goes out to you. ♥️
