Patty Liu

Patty Liu Certified Trauma Care Practitioner | Clinical Herbalist | Energy Healer Patty Liu a certified Clinical Herbalist, Trauma Recovery Coach, and Reiki Master.

She helps childhood trauma survivors feel safe, seen, and empowered to reclaim their authentic self. Patty offers coaching, herbalism & holistic health classes, energy healing, and Free Flow Botanicals holistic skincare products.

08/31/2026

Being a good immigrant daughter was a second job, but no one ever called it that

“你的女儿好乖” which means your “daughter is so obedient and well behaved” in Chinese, is of the highest praises you could get

Translating for your parents at the doctor’s office, the bank, parent-teacher conferences, adult conversations you had no business being in

Handling forms, paperwork, appointments that were never your responsibility but became your job because you were the only one who spoke English

Mediating conflicts between your parents, or your parents and relatives, and becoming the family’s unofficial translator, not just bc language barriers, but bc of tension itself

This was always framed as helping your family and being a good daughter so it wasn’t even something you could resent, because it couldn’t be named

This is parentification: when a child takes on adult responsibilities and emotional labor before they’re developmentally ready for it

Being 乖 (guāi / well behaved) wasn’t about being a good kid, but rather being useful, compliant, and quiet

And bc the praise reinforced your role, the better you did, the more you got asked to do…which meant love came from overextending yourself

To me, this feels different from a Western toxic parent dynamic because it’s embedded in cultural obligation, where helping your family becomes your identity

Naming this as “乖女儿” the good daughter offers a language for something that happened to you, and it does not mean you’re dishonoring your culture

You can love where you came from and still say that was too much responsibility for a child to carry

No matter your culture, were you expected to take on adult responsibilities early on?

Comment below to help other survivors feel understood 💚

08/30/2026

The most underrated tool in nervous system healing isn’t a technique, it’s a spiritual practice

And no, this isn’t about religion

When you grow up minimizing your needs, hiding who you really are, dismissing your own inner world, you lose your relationship with yourself

You stop trusting what you feel and you might not even know your own identity anymore

This was me for YEARS

A spiritual practice isn’t about doctrine or a belief system

It’s any intentional, consistent act that connects you to something beyond yourself, beyond survival mode

Meditation, being present in nature, brewing tea with intention, journaling as self-dialogue, movement as ceremony, honoring your ancestors are examples of a spiritual practice, and they all ask one thing of you which is your presence

In fact, practices that involve rhythm, breath, stillness, or movement can be deeply regulating for your nervous system bc they expand your window of tolerance and tell your body, over and over again that you’re safe

Your nervous system and your spirit were never separate, and when you tend to one, you tend to the other

This is the start of a new series, Real Work: Spiritual Practice

Do you have a spiritual practice, or is it something you’ve been curious about but never known where to start?

Share below and follow along for more real talk on healing from survival mode 💚

My days are no longer dramatic, rushed, or chaotic. I get to sip tea, tend to my garden, savor good food, get lost in a ...
08/29/2026

My days are no longer dramatic, rushed, or chaotic. I get to sip tea, tend to my garden, savor good food, get lost in a book, enjoy a lazy picnic and just be. This is what life looks like with simple routines and a nervous system that finally gets to rest

Want to go deeper and get my weekly letters on healing your nervous system? DM or comment LETTERS and I’ll send you the link 💚

08/28/2026

Narcissistic mom vs. emotionally immature mom: how healing differs

People use these terms interchangeably, but they’re not the same thing, and healing from each may look different for you

With a narcissistic parent, the patterns tend to be consistent and intentional: control, image, a constant need for admiration, and your feelings often get dismissed or weaponized

With an emotionally immature parent, it’s usually about capacity, or lack thereof, not bc they’re malicious

They may love you, but lack the skills to self-regulate, attune to you, or show up consistently

But the truth is that both can cause lasting harm and the point is this video isn’t to call out who had it worse

It’s about understanding the difference to support your healing journey

In my 20s I thought my mom was just emotionally immature bc she often threw tantrums, needed constant praise, and had a grandiose sense of entitlement

It took me some time to realize this wasn’t just immaturity, but common narcissistic traits

Healing from a narcisstic parent might look like creating distance, setting boudaries, or going no contact whereas healing from an emotionally immature parent might look like adjusting your expectations of them bc you are aware of their limited capacity

But healing from either still requires you to regulate your nervous system, trust your own memory and reality, and grieve the parent you wanted but never got

You don’t need a diagnosis or a label to validate what happened to you, and you have right to heal, set boundaries, or create distance in order to protect yourself

My content is for educational purposes only, based on my personal experience and study. It is not a substitute for therapy or professional support

How did this distinction land for you? Was it different than you expected? Share below and follow along for more real talk on healing from survival mode 💚

08/27/2026

You don’t have to have a dramatic story for it to have hurt

In middle school, I often went to school without lunch, or barely anything

On a fifth grade field trip, my teacher collected everyone’s lunches to transport, and in mine, found a sandwich bag half full of bugles

She gave me half her sandwich because she felt sorry for me, and I remember it being the best chicken sandwich I’d ever had, not because it was delicious, but because someone noticed

Then there are so many memories of being my mom’s personal tape recorder, listening to her go on about how miserable she was, how victimized she was, and never once being asked how I was doing

Not even how I was feeling, just how I was doing

My presence only served as a function for her, not as someone with a rich inner life of my own

For years I told myself none of this was a big deal...bc there was no screaming or hitting, I assumed it wasn’t worth grieving

But harm that shows up as an event is easier to acknowledge compared to harm that shows up as an absence (forgotten lunches, zero curiosity about your child)

That doesn’t make it negligible, it just makes it harder to name

You don’t need a bruise or a chaotic scene to validate your pain

A teacher noticing what your mom didn’t is proof enough on its own

Did you ever minimize something like this because nothing dramatic happened? Share below

Follow Patty Liu | Narcissistic Abuse Recovery for more real talk on healing from survival mode 💚

08/26/2026

Hot take: I think boring is about to become the highest compliment you can give someone in a relationship

For so long, boring meant unremarkable and ordinary...someone you’d settle for

Or the person you would pick if you gave up on feeling chemistry

But I think that notion is shifting, because more people are starting to realize that boring can just mean consistent, predictable in a good way

It’s the kind of person who does what they say they’ll do, who doesn’t leave you guessing or ask that you manage their moods

If you’ve ever found yourself calling someone boring right before realizing they were actually safe and consistent, I doubt you’re alone

I’m curious if anyone else is noticing this shift, or if I’m just projecting 🤭

08/25/2026

If the question “am I even allowed to do this?” has been keeping you from creating distance, this video is for you

You don’t need anyone’s permission...not your mother’s, extended family’s, or even mine, to protect your peace, health, and future

Just bc you’re related to someone doesn’t mean you’re obligated to stay in a relationship that harms you

Will you let me know below if this is where you’re at right now? 💚

08/24/2026

The toxic cycle ends with us ⛓️‍💥

Our parents, grandparents, and ancestors lived through things that are barely imaginable: war, famine, displacement, racism, discrimination, and so many other adversities

They spent their lives in survival mode with no access to therapy or the language for what they endured

While they did the best they could, unprocessed trauma gets passed down which is the unfortunate truth of how generational trauma works

We get to be the generation that woke up bc we have access to something they never did

We have the awareness, access to resources and the language for what happened to us 📚

The fact that you’re here doing this work already makes you different from the generations before you

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, and your children or future generations, is the ability to be themselves in their fullest expression of authenticity and aliveness 🌟

The unconditional love you didn’t receive?

You get to be the one who gives it

You’re not just healing for yourself, but for every generation that follows

The toxic cycle ends with YOU

Follow Patty Liu | Narcissistic Abuse Recovery for more on breaking generational cycles 💚

What happens inside my 6 week coaching container?This isn’t talk therapy, where you’re venting for six weeks and finishi...
08/23/2026

What happens inside my 6 week coaching container?

This isn’t talk therapy, where you’re venting for six weeks and finishing in the same place you started

First, we name what’s happening in your body, including your patterns, ervous system states, and what’s keeping you stuck in survival mode

Then we build your personal regulation toolkit, including somatic tools personalized to you

We look at lifestyle too: sleep, nutrition, movement, energetics...all the small shifts that support a regulated nervous system

And we’ll go deeper with inner child work and reparenting, with experiential exercises that give little you what she always needed but didn’t get

By the end, you’re understanding your patterns, rewiring them, ANd you’ll have a working model for what safe, secure relationships look & feel like

This is holistic, trauma-informed coaching from someone who’s lived it

I’m a Certified Trauma Care Practitioner, Clinical Herbalist, and Reiki Master, but honestly, none of that is why I do this work

I’m here because I know what it’s like to not trust or even know yourself, and I’ve found my way to thriving on the other side

If this sounds like what you need right now, we start with a Return to Calm Clarity call

DM or comment “CLARITY” to get the link 💚

08/22/2026

Turns out this Greek tradition of plate smashing isn’t about anger at all. it’s called kefi, the celebratory release of joy and passion. Still, 10/10 for stress relief 😄

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