Patty Liu

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Patty Liu Certified Trauma Care Practitioner | Clinical Herbalist | Energy Healer Patty Liu a certified Clinical Herbalist, Trauma Recovery Coach, and Reiki Master.

She helps childhood trauma survivors feel safe, seen, and empowered to reclaim their authentic self. Patty offers coaching, herbalism & holistic health classes, energy healing, and Free Flow Botanicals holistic skincare products.

Save this for the holidays 🎄 When the guilt hits hours later, ask yourself one question: “Did I harm her, or did I disap...
10/18/2026

Save this for the holidays 🎄

When the guilt hits hours later, ask yourself one question: “Did I harm her, or did I disappoint her?”

Then wait at least an hour before you do anything

This is how we work with guilt in Hold the Boundary, live Nov 5

Comment WORKSHOP and I’ll send you the link

Doors close Wednesday at 9pm PT 💚

I used to think speaking the boundary was the hard partEvery time I said no to my mother, she’d guilt trip me then go si...
10/16/2026

I used to think speaking the boundary was the hard part

Every time I said no to my mother, she’d guilt trip me then go silent

Within hours, I felt physically sick

And had racing thoughts that kept me awake at night, saying that I was a bad daughter

So I caved and I took back my boundary just to end my discomfort

The real work was learning how to hold my boundary through the guilt and panic that hit after

Doors are open for my live workshop, Hold the Boundary ✋

We’ll practice what it takes to keep you grounded when the guilt, her pushback, and the panic hit after you say no

▸ Thursday, Nov 5 at 6pm PT (9pm ET)
▸ 90 minutes live on Google Meet
▸ $37 founding price
▸ 15 spots only (replay included)

Join by Sunday at 9pm PT and you’ll also get my guided somatic practice, “When the guilt hits.”

DM or comment WORKSHOP and I’ll send you the link to save your spot 💚

10/14/2026

Growing up, sacrifice meant my mom fed and clothed me, and in return she expected complete obedience

In grad school, she volunteered me to edit her friend’s entire book in two weeks while I was studying for finals.m

When I said no, she gave the silent treatment and from it, I felt so physically sick with guilt that I caved and agreed

What finally changed things years later was placing my feet on the floor and releasing a long exhale instead of trying to fix my way out of the panic feelings

This simple somatic practice brought my heart rate down and showed my nervous system enough safety that I could finally hold a boundary without caving

If you’ve been through something similar, I’m teaching this process live in Hold the Boundary on November 5th

DM or comment HOLD for the free Find Your Pattern worksheet and first access when doors open this Friday 💚

You set the boundaryShe asks whyYou explainShe argues with youSo you explain yourself moreEvery reason you give becomes ...
10/12/2026

You set the boundary

She asks why

You explain

She argues with you

So you explain yourself more

Every reason you give becomes something she can push back on

One calm statement, repeated if you need to, is far more effective than 10 good reasons

If you tend to overexplain yourself, that’s your fawn response kicking in

It kept you safe once, but how is it helping you now?

This is your opportunity to start doing things differently

Comment “HOLD” and I’ll send you my free Find Your Pattern worksheet, plus a spot on the waitlist for my live Hold the Boundary workshop

The waitlist closes Thursday 💚

10/11/2026

The boundary hangover usually starts hours after you speak up

You stayed calm, cool, and collected when you set a boundary with your mom

And you walked away feeling proud of yourself

Then that familiar silence from her starts to make you feel queasy and uncomfortable, like somehow it’s all your fault

When you grow up with a narcissistic or emotionally immature mother, withdrawing form her sends a dangerous signal to your nervous system

Hours later, when your fawn response and duty guilt kick in, you end up taking back your boundary

Somehow, you convinced yourself that protecting your peace makes you cruel, selfish, and ungrateful

So you cave and decide to smooth things over, desperate the get rid of the dreadful feelings in your gut

Understanding a boundary intellectually means you know exactly what to say, however having nervous system capacity means you can move through all the waves of discomfort and still return to a calm place

The goal is learning to sit with that discomfort without rushing to fix it, not removing it or fixing her reaction

Does this sound familiar?

If so, comment HOLD and I will send you the link to the free Find Your Pattern worksheet, plus early access to the waitlist for my live Hold the Boundary workshop 💚

Save this for the next time she pushes back 💚When your mom pushes back on a boundary you just set, your body usually rea...
10/08/2026

Save this for the next time she pushes back 💚

When your mom pushes back on a boundary you just set, your body usually reacts before your mind does

Your chest tightens

Or your stomach drops

Having the exact words ready keeps you from freezing or fawning in that moment

A clear script gives your nervous system something to hold onto when you start to panic

But knowing what to say is only step one

Holding your ground when the guilt hits is where the real work happens

That guilt is part of an old survival response, from being taught that protecting yourself meant hurting someone else

Staying calm while she’s upset takes nervous system capacity, and that’s something you can build

These 3 lines are from my Pushback Scripts

In my live workshop, Hold the Boundary, you’ll get all 8, plus the somatic tools to stay grounded when the guilt hits

Want to get started now?

DM or comment ‘HOLD’ and I’ll send you my free Find Your Pattern worksheet so you can learn the pattern that makes you take back your boundary

You’ll also be first to hear when registration opens 💚

10/07/2026

Talk therapy gave me clarity, but my body still felt like it was in danger

That’s because my nervous system had been dysregulated for years, and no amount of understanding was going to fix that on its own

When I started training as a clinical herbalist, working with herbs daily became a ritual that let me slow down and engage my senses again

That’s what finally taught my nervous system safety

Having a spiritual practice, meditation and ancestor work, helped too

They taught me to believe in something bigger than myself and to trust my own intuition

That combination was the missing link that talk therapy couldn’t give me

Understanding what happened to you is only half of healing

The other half is teaching your body it’s safe now, and that’s the work I do with clients

DM or comment CLARITY and I’ll send you info on a Clarity Call 💚

10/06/2026

“After everything I’ve done for you...”

That one sentence used to make me cave every time

I’d apologize, over explain myself, and end up taking my boundary back

Then I learned to say just one line: “I know you’ve done a lot for me. My answer is still no.”

Setting the boundary is one thing, but it takes feeling safe so your body can handle what comes next

I’m planning a small live workshop to help you move through the guilt, her pushback, and the panic you feel afterward

DM or comment HOLD and I’ll send you the waitlist 💚

10/05/2026

Somatic exercises like box breathing did so much to help me regulate my nervous system in the moments I needed it

But long term healing meant giving myself and my body permission to experience calm moments and slowing down on a daily basis

What that looked like: long walks on the beach, wandering through a redwood forest, stopping to take deep breaths & savor what was around me, and allowing myself to be still

Ultimately, that’s what helped to heal my nervous system so I could live a peaceful and fulfilling life

If you’re doing the breath work to regulate your nervous system and still feel stuck, you’re not doing anything wrong

There’s just one piece of the puzzle that’s usually missing

I write about what that looks like in my weekly letters

Comment LETTERS and I’ll share what healing looks like beyond quick fixes 💚

“Maybe I’m a cruel & ungrateful daughter.”I used to believe that thinking this meant something was wrong with meNow I kn...
10/04/2026

“Maybe I’m a cruel & ungrateful daughter.”

I used to believe that thinking this meant something was wrong with me

Now I know that it means I was in stage 2 of healing duty guilt, the stage where guilt felt safer than grief

Trauma researcher Judith Herman mapped 3 stages of healing from trauma

I applied them to what duty-bound daughters go through specifically, the guilt that comes up when you were raised to believe honoring your parents meant abandoning yourself

Swipe through and see where you are right now

I want to be clear that none of these stages mean something is wrong with you

It reflects that there was something wrong with what happened TO you

Which stage are you in right now?

Comment 1, 2, or 3 below

If you’re in stage 1 or 2, I’m planning a small live workshop on holding a boundary through the guilt

DM or comment HOLD and I’ll send you the waitlist

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Oakland, CA

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